Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot memes about alpha and beta’s when it comes to personality types. In essence, alphas are good, betas are bad. The theory is that woman are naturally attracted alpha males while will either use or be repulsed by beta males.
Alpha males it seems have certain characteristics that women find irresitable. They project strength, certainty, confidence, charisma, and are comfortable in all situations. They may seem brutish, but are protectors. They are leaders and don’t follow the rules. They take control of the situation and handle their business. They don’t care what others think about them. They are imposing and dominant in social situations.
Betas on the other hand are seen as weak and pathetic. They are nice, but the niceness is really a survival strategy because they fear confrontation. They are followers. They seek to please others. They will fold or run under pressure so they aren’t really great protectors. They are weak physically and mentally. They whine and don’t take responsibility for their lives.
The above definitions give you a basic understanding what’s implied by the two types, i don’t really subscribe to the theory. I do think that it’s a lot more complicated. I think the debate of alpha vs. beta often implies extroverts vs introverts.
Society as a whole takes this way too far. I don’t like the term alpha and beta because it implies superiority of one personality type over another.
I mean there are guys who are so called ‘betas’ that could probably kick the average ‘alpha’s’ ass in a fight if it came down to it. Many men think that being boorish and imposing makes a man an alpha.
As usual, many women are caught up in the hype. But let me make a case for the ‘beta’ types.
I’ve seen some pretty humble/quiet men who could definitely take out a lot of the so called loud mouthed alphas in a fight. Anderson Silva for instance. While reserved and quiet and not imposing at all….he’s a beast in the octagon. Others include Manny Pacquaio and one of my favorite boxers Vasyl Lomachenko.
While many ‘alpha’ types like Connor McGregor and Adrien Broner can back up their talk and are entertaining to say the least. Their issues come with huge egos which aren’t great for relationships or stable families.
Many of the loudest, flashiest, and ‘alpha’ types I know of are really pussies in real life. They talk the talk, but won’t walk it. These are the types that talk all that rah rah, but won’t do anything. They are ones who snitch after talking about how real they are. Ever notice how the ‘shooters’ don’t really say much. Killers are the quiet ones. The most serious and dangerous people, when it comes to the game are the real ones. Notice how you often hear the most popular rappers talk about the ‘goons’ and ‘shooters’ they have on the squad. Often if you meet these people in real life, they don’t have much to say and aren’t clamoring to be the life of the party.
While not the most exciting people in the world, the beta type is often more reliable and family oriented. They are loyal to a fault often times. They get the job done, sit back and don’t wait on acknowledgement. These are the guys you want on your team. They are also the guys you don’t want to piss off because they’ll fuck you up without saying too much in advanced. Often times, you’ll have had to coming to you.
As far as dating, there is a difference between good men and nice guys. Nice guys do things because they expect something in return. In reality alpha creeps do the same thing. They are just more upfront with it. While often confused with beta’s, nice guys aren’t really the same thing. Good guy betas often do things because they want to, nice guy betas do things because they want the person to ‘owe’ them something. I could see how there could be confusion as nice guy betas often employ similar strategies as good guy betas. But there is a difference. One way you can tell though is that good guys will not just tell you what you want to hear. It might sting, but it’s delivered in a way to not hurt your feelings, but more as a suggestion.
Nice guys will pretty much agree with everything and not really check you on your bad behavior. Or they’ll say it in a way to ‘bring you down’ so to speak as a manipulation tactic.
As mentioned earlier, beta types want to take care of their mates. They aren’t out there looking for several women at a time. They are family oriented and tend to want to make sure that their family is good. They enjoy spending quality time with their kids and wife. They may come across as clingy, but often times it’s due to either having their trust abused in the past or knowing how the game works.
I’d be considered a beta, but I know how game works. I know it when I see it and many times I’ve debated with myself for ‘snitching’ on a guy who was running game on my girl. Usually it falls on deaf ears anyway and I was usually always right, but what’s a guy to do? They always come back. But loyalty is a big to me and once trust is broken it’s hard to get it back because I bring that to the table and I do expect that back.
Beta males generally don’t like drama. They are usually peacemakers and are quite diplomatic in their approach. Equity and fairness are characterstics that also follow them. While they might not follow the code of society, they usually follow some code of ethics such as the code of the streets.
They usually aren’t flattering, charming, or have the most swag, but I’m convinced that the personality type of the beta doesn’t make them in any way weaker or inferior to their more flamboyant alpha brothers.
Perhaps the only area is in attracting and keeping women. But that says more about the society we live in more than the guys themselves.
One would think that a woman would cherish a beta type guy as he’d pretty much deal with her shit if she’s loyal. He would want to help her be a better person. You would think that it would be easier to change his weaknesses than it would be change the player into a husband. Unfortunately, that’s too much like right.
Meanwhile….I guess in order to get laid, I am alpha enough to get attention. It works because I’m just enough of both to get attention and keep it for a little while. I do know that even with my knowledge, it’s easy for me to revert back into beta if I fall in love. The best thing for now is to stay emotionally unattached, use my strengths, do what I do, but never fall in love as she’ll probably end up cheating or leaving me for not bringing that ‘alpha’ drama in to her life.