I think that the question of if ‘lack of ambition’ is an unattractive quality is just a random thing. It’s not a question of morality or anything of significance. It’s just a matter of preference. It’s like if a fat person asks why do so many people prefer skinny/middle sized people. We can all spout off the ideas that we prefer average sized/skinny women for health reasons. But the reality is that (as men anyway) if a woman is just genetically blessed with the ability to maintain a nice size, it really doesn’t matter what her eating/workout habits are. We’ll generally still be attracted to her.
I can think of a few women who eat fairly well and workout out pretty consistently, but are still overweight. I’m not attracted to them, despite their healthier lifestyles. I can also think of a few women who eat garbage and rarely hit the gym….yet the still maintain a pretty decent size. And they are attractive to me.
So this ambition thing is just a matter of preference. It really doesn’t speak to the efficacy/competence/intelligence of a person. In fact, there is a thing of being “too ambitious” which I’ve heard a few women complain about. If ambition were an inherent biological turn on trigger. It could be argued that the most “ambitious” men would get all of the women. But highly ambitious men also get cheated on and left every day for less ‘ambitious’ men. From my perspective, the question of attractiveness of “ambition” is just the spirit of the time. It’s just a social construct that we as a society has deemed as important in this day and age. The laid back, “it’s all cool man”, zen like, island boy archetype, or free spirited, but fun hippie type was once coveted amongst women. In some cases still may be, depending on who she is and where she is in her life.
We just live in a time of gross materialism and excess consumerism and it just is what it is. There may be a bigger reason for this, but to me, the WHY doesn’t really matter…. as I assume that it doesn’t to most people in this ‘get the bag’ culture we’re presently living in.
I can’t explain why I “beat myself up” in my evening workouts…..I just do it because I like the results. I don’t view it as a dealbreaker if someone else doesn’t do it. Maybe I’m making such a big deal out of it because this is the reason why STBXW claims that fell out of love. But in reality, I probably should take what she says as a grain of salt. I mean seriously, I know how she is and her answers aren’t well thought out. The guys she dealt with don’t seem any more “ambitious” than me from what I can tell….and so she probably just used that as an excuse for her “bad behavior”. If I suddenly became more objectively “ambitious”, she might stay for a while, but eventually, she’d find something else. I’m thinking that shit ain’t as sweet as she thought it was out there in the streets….but she can’t go back on her words….so even if she said….”now that you’re more ambitious I want you back.”… i truly don’t believe that was the reason she did what she did anyway. If i were to guess the actual reason, I’d say it was more or less to do with my personality. I’m not as funny as she’d like for me to be. I’m not as ‘alpha’ or ‘driven’ insofar as leading her to a specific destination. And I think she equates those qualities with ‘ambition’. It makes sense.
I need a woman who is ok with taking the driver seat with that. She’s ok with getting what she wants out of life, knows where she’s going, and ok if I tag along providing the value she needs and supporting her every step of the way. She’d have to be able to respect me though. I’m not a lazy bum and I pull my own weight….but if her idea of happiness is luxury and the ‘finer things in life’, then she doesn’t mind if mine isn’t. She’ll either inspire or motivate me to want it too….or accept that I don’t. I wouldn’t hold her back. I’d be with her every step of the way. She wouldn’t mind sharing as she would know that I’d love her anyway, she would know that I support her in achieving those things if they made her happy. Even if she wasn’t “ambitious” like that, she’d know that I’d have her back and it wasn’t the reason I was with her. I mean, I think I’d be the same way if the shoe was on the other foot.
Or she’s either like me and ok with ‘smelling the roses’ in the journey of life. She needs to be free spirited and yet analytical. Thoughtful, but not too serious. I don’t know if those traits are common amongst women of today. I’m thinking that this is why I want a earthy chick. Someone who is more spiritual than carnal minded. One who doesn’t get caught up in trends and would prefer to beat to her own drum. One who isn’t infected by the ideologies of the “hive mind.”