Double Standards exist for a reason

I’m coming to the conclusion that these women are just as irresponsible as men.   It’s sad, but it’s pretty obvious due to the many single mothers out there.  I always figured that since they would pretty much be on the hook for a kid in failed relationships, that they would at least be more cautious with who they slept with.

Apparently not these days.   These women think that men and women are equal across the board.  Especially when it comes to casual sex and dating.   It’s so far from the truth.

Double standards exist for a reason.

Good sex will get a woman dickmatized and she’ll end up having a kid with a no good dude because she’s on cloud 9.   They will gladly take attraction over quality.  They will ruin a good relationship simply because they often can’t cheat without losing attraction to the guy they are with.   Their loyalty and hearts primarily follow their attraction which generally wanes over time.

Men generally will not fight for a woman if he finds out she’s sleeping with someone else.  In fact, most find it disgusting.  It’s not attractive on ANY level.  It’s why men very rarely give a woman second chances if he finds out she’s sleeping around.   Women, on the other hand, low key like the idea of their man having a few options.  They like the idea of knowing that other women want her man.  In fact, i’m pretty sure that she loses a bit of attraction or respect for him if she thinks that she’s the only option he has.

On the other hand, I could give two shits if I’m the only man who wants her.   In fact, I’d prefer if she had limited options due to the fact that I know that on any given night she could get laid.

Another reason for the standard is that the more bodies she had, the less desirable she is.    Seriously, who wants to wife a ho.   It’s degrading and somewhat embarassing to claim a woman with an extensive sexual past.    Women don’t mind dating a ‘reformed’ player.  In fact it seems that it’s what they prefer.  They sort of like the idea of making an ‘honest’ man out of a guy.    We already know that you can’t turn a ho into a housewife.   We don’t even try.

Many women advocate dating multiple men at the same time.   Not only are they shooting themselves in the foot for the aforementioned reasons,  but lowering their perceived value.  A woman’s body is like a car in the sense that the more miles it has, the less valuable it is.

If I know that a woman is dating other men at the same time, I’m not paying for anything.  Let him pay.   Just call me for sex.   Often times, they will do just that.   If i had to choose to either be the guy who she calls for sex or the guy she calls when she wants to go out, give me the 1st option.   Even then, I’m not going down on her.   As much as I like going down, I’m not risking the possibility of left over swimmers touching my tongue.   It sort of ruins the idea of sex for me.   Plus you never know if she’s deciding to go through a ‘ho’ phase.   The other dude might also have an STD,  or she might get pregnant and not know who the father is.    Miss me with that.

Another reason is that women with a lot past sexual partners tend to be psychotic.  I don’t know if she’s crazy because she had a lot of partners or if she has a lot of partners because she was crazy, but either way, i don’t have time for crazy.

A woman who can’t be satisfied with one man is also not long term wifey material.   If she can’t work with what she has, it shows that when times get tough, she’ll go out and find another man to fulfill whatever it is that we’re missing.   I’m good off that.  Let’s be real, no relationship is perfect, you gotta be willing to sacrifice something.

Most men can’t handle their wife, girlfriend, affair partner, situationship or whatever you call it these days dealing with other men.   They know it.    This means that she will have to lie, at least about the nature of that relationship.    If she lies then there is no trust and without trust, it’s pointless.   Nothing cuts a man harder than knowing that his s/o is sleeping around.    There are some dog ass men who don’t care, but to me, it’s a deal breaker.  These guys are either beta as fuck or ain’t shit guys.   I have enough self respect to be neither.

I’m not saying that men should lie or cheat on a woman.   It is dishonorable and it makes women more likely to engage in shady behavior in future relationships.    While i never tell a woman that I’m dealing with that she can’t go out and date.  I’ll listen to her complaints and give her the freedom to choose.  I’d prefer to create a judgment free zone so that she can feel safe enough to tell me the truth.

I’ve realized that most can’t really handle truth when they hear it though and lose attraction to you when you do.   I find myself losing more and more respect for them for that reason.   At the same time, I am learning that there are real differences in how we handle reality.   I’m starting to think that we truly perceive the world in different ways.  I’m not as mad as I used to be as I realize that I can’t hold them to the same moral standards as I would hold a man.

I think that we as men hold the superior high ground.    Being mostly raised by my mother and surrounded by sisters, I used to believe in all that equality stuff.   Yes, I’m all for equal pay and equal opportunity to make money.   But not when it comes to dating.

We as men do have luxuries that women don’t.  At the same time, in general, they also have it much easier when it comes to attracting men, so it balances it out.

Relationships aren’t working these days because women want to be like the dishonorable men they are attracted to.   Decent men are taking note and are choosing to either disengage or act like bad men because it works with women, but it also creates more bad women.    We’re all screwed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Like a moth to a flame

Perhaps I’m just a man scorned.  That doesn’t mean that I can’t objectively look at the trends.  It seems that women are attracted to men who exhibit toxic behavior.  Sure they don’t like the consequences.   Sure, they complain, get hurt, cry, write songs, and bash men.   But it can’t be denied that the type of men that show these characteristics are doing very well with women out here.

I’m tired of reading articles and hearing stories from women complaining about how they are so hurt over what these guys are doing to them.   I’m tired of hearing about how selfish he is and how they want a man to just treat them well.   I’m tired of saying they want a man who listens to them.

At the same time, they call these ‘ideal’ men weak.   Too often they say, they don’t want to ‘run over him’.    Being considered nice is a red flag to them.  The asshole seems powerful and dominant to them.   It’s attractive and it seems they are powerless to resist, even to their own emotional detriment.

I’ve realized that the difference between women and men are greater than I thought. Women aren’t too logical when it comes to choosing a mate.   They go with the stupid mantra of “the heart wants what it wants.”  in order to justify their bad decisions.   What they consider their “heart” is actually their pussy.   If he makes her wet, then she’s pretty much putty in his hands.

In my own personal mind, attractiveness and love don’t really have much to do with each other.   Strippers are often beautiful women physically.   Many are personable and intelligent.   They can have great and interesting conversations.   If we have sex, it probably is great.   Yet, her occupation makes so that I won’t be investing my emotional energy into thinking that I can change or save her.    A woman with a permiscuous past or who has a history of cheating lets me know that I shouldn’t risk falling in love with her.  Let alone knocking her up.

No matter how beautiful and charming she is.  It does’t matter how good she makes me feel at the time.  I personally believe that if she has this effect on me, she has the ability to charm and make her past ‘victims’ feel great and become addicted to her.    I don’t think that I have the magic penis or the heart of healing that will change her.   No matter what she says to me at the time.  Sooner or later, she will turn on me too.

It’s amazing how women can be so deceitful, yet naive at the same time when it comes to toxic men.    Perhaps they are cursed to love that which harms them and be repelled by those who would actually give them what they say they want.

I was always amazed how women often fall for guys who they know have a reputation of playing women.  Or guys who have many baby mothers.   I suppose that there is something that they are saying or doing.   But you’d think they’d realize that if  he has a way with the ladies, then maybe he’s also using his charm on her.   What makes her think that she’ll be any different this time.  You would think that she’d realize that he makes her feel the same way he made these other women feel.   That he made them promises or led them to believe that they’d be the ‘one’.    And yet she is shocked when she discovers that he is playing her, is cheating, or has ‘fallen for someone else’ and no longer wants to be with her exclusively.

Their bitterness and anger over it reinforces the notion that women are stupid.   I’m not mad at these guys and in fact, I’m thinking that perhaps I can learn from them.   The blue pill notion that you can treat them well forever and keep them attracted hasn’t served me well at all and in fact got me cheated on multiple times.  It seems that the better you treat them, the worse they treat you.

What’s worse is that they almost always deny it.  While telling me that women don’t want a charming asshole, they are often involved with one and can’t seem to leave them alone for too long.   Perhaps for me, the signs are obvious.  I no longer say anything when they bring a ‘chad’ or ‘tyrone’ by because they should know the signs at this point.  They’ll deny the flags and believe that because they’re a ‘good’ woman, things will be different. I’ve even seen a few get pregnant by these guys and when he leaves, she acts all surprised and angry at him.

Point out that he has 4 different baby mama’s their go to excuse is that he’s a good father to all his kids.  Point out that he has a reputation, they say, people change.   Point out he’s currently dealing with a chick, then “she’s crazy. He doesn’t want her anymore, but she keeps stalking him.”    All true life stories btw.

Then again, if they bring a guy who seems pretty decent around, they often end up saying things like he’s boring or he’s too nice.    Sure, he pays for dates, opens my car door up.   Replies to my texts on time.   Texts me good morning every morning.   But something is off.

As decent men (men with good intentions) we have to learn that if we want success, we have to stop being nice to them.  Take a page from the asshole’s book.    We must learn to be selfish.   We have to learn to override the programming our mothers and society as whole has given us.   Smothering them with too much unearned attention is a bad thing.   You cannot kiss her ass and you must  always be willing to walk away.   It’s a much harder task when she’s the only woman in your life.   Onenitis or falling for her for real for real is the kiss of death in a relationship.

The bottom line is that we have to kill this idea or notion that ‘real’ love is in the cards for us.   Learn to be emotionless when it comes to that and you’ll do much much better.    Remember that this is just a game.   You can never be too concerned with the outcome.

 

 

 

“It ain’t love unless it hurts.”

There is nothing worse than being emotionally attached to someone who doesn’t share the same feeling.   It truly is an emotional trap.  It seems as if giving someone emotional energy that isn’t reciprocated somehow causes you to become more attached to that person.

I wonder if it’s because you are looking to get that energy back.   Perhaps you aren’t looking for the ‘investment’ to pay off.   But you’re seeking to get back at least what you put in.   On the flip side, receiving that type of energy from someone that  you don’t like in that way seems to empower you.

I’ve noticed that  getting the attention from a female that I don’t share the exact same feelings for gives me a sense of superiority.  It’s a feeling similar to self righteousness.    It feels good to know that I’m wanted, but at the same time, it feels good to accuse them of being needy or clingy.   Yes, it’s hypocritical, but truth isn’t always pretty.

When they stop giving me that attention, I sort of miss it.   Depending on how invested they are, I might say just enough to give them hope enough to want to get back.  Being ambiguous works wonders in this scenario.    In essence, I’d be using them for the attention or validation, while not desiring to be with them.   Most of this is subconscious as it’s not something I’m consciously/purposely doing.

I think this is due to the energy exchange that feels empowering.   In a sense, I’m taking more than I’m giving and feels good on an ego level.   It powers my ego.   While this hasn’t happened often nor nearly to the degree where it’s damaging to the other person, I can see how having someone fall deeply in love with you can be addictive.  Even if it is detrimental to the other person as it causes them deep emotional distress.

This dangerous exchange of energy is why it’s imperative not to fall in love.    While in the beginning, the feeling may be mutual, the other person has to be able to handle that kind of power.   The vanity of many modern day women and select men makes them bad candidates to invest that kind of power in.   Any tipping of the scales can cause things to go off course.   The power trip is more than they can handle and often they will give you just enough hope in order to keep receiving that supply of emotional energy or pussy or resources.    Even if it hurts you.

I believe it’s  why the best way to get someone back is to truly get over them.    Of course by then, you don’t want them back.    No amount of acting, no contact, side lovers, etc will be enough.   You have to truly be over them.

The best way is to never fall in love.   If you do fancy someone a little too much, it’s best to view it as cocaine or any other drug with addictive properties and quit before it takes you over.   Easier said than done, I know, but it’s necessary.   Falling in love is like an addiction.   It feels good, but you become dependent on that person to satisfy a portion of your overall well being.    Like with most drugs, the temporary feeling of ecstacy is not worth the potential hazards.   Especially with someone who has a lot of options.    Beautiful women are cool, fucking them great, but falling in love with them is dangerous as shooting heroin.    Hell, these days, as thirsty as men are, any decent looking woman has the potential to be a threat as she can easily monkey branch to the next simp who falls for her beauty or the potential to have sex.   Love without morals is chaos.   Welcome to the modern relationship culture.

I’ve come to realize that I am addicted to feeling loved and adored.  It is truly my weakness.    Looks, intelligence, even compatibility aren’t really all that high on the scale.   Don’t get me wrong, I mean she can’t be stupid or ugly, but as long as she’s decently attractive and can hold a decent conversation, she can get me by showing me love, submissiveness, and adoration.

I’m sure that most decent men want this, but our problem is that we want to reciprocate.  When we do, it’s usually game over after a few months or so.   Men who do reciprocate aren’t really made for this love game.  We eventually become beta, cucked, left behind, or the recipient of paltry pity sex.   The only way to maintain attraction is to allow the love to flow in one direction.   She has to love you, but you cannot love her back.

My redpill knowledge has awakened me to the facts of female hypergamy…..that her love is only temporary and that she’s never mine, it’s only my turn.  Unless you don’t love her back.   Despite this, I find myself in a position where I still want to be a one woman type of guy.

I know that having eyes for one woman might be what they say they want, but I know better…..even if they don’t.    She will lose attraction if I give myself over to her despite me  wanting to.   The blue pill programming is so deep within me that I wonder if it was society programming me.   Maybe being a ‘family guy’ is in my dna.   Despite what society, red pill advocates, and many women say, not all men want a lot of women.   Many men would be satisfied with just one decent one who kept it real with them.  Unfortunately, most women find this unattractive in men.    They’d prefer to make him that way, but the can’t come to the table like that.   If she does happen to come across one that she can change, then she will lose attraction to him.

Accepting this nature of women is harder than I imagined, but no one said life was easy.   How ironic is that I’m at the point where I am advocating that men keep cheating in order to protect their hearts.    The cold truth is that we have to cheat in order to keep her interested.   It’s a necessary evil.    We have to treat them like objects in order for her to respect us.   We have to be ambiguous and emotionally unavailable because ultimately, it’s what the modern woman wants.   Most are not happy unless she’s miserable and she’s miserable if she’s happy. I just hate that they lie to themselves, especially when those lies will end up hurting you.   Nice guys will keep getting burned until they figure this out.

I hate how most women can’t just look at their choices in what attracts them and see that this is the case.   It’s like you give them the evidence by calling out or asking why her past relationships didn’t work and they still seem to miss it.   The more educated they are, the harder it seems for them to look at their choices and do some self reflecting.  All men aren’t bad, just the ones they’re mostly attracted to.   It ain’t love unless it hurts should be their slogan.  Otherwise, you’re going to bore her to death.

It’s frustrating and an exercise in futility.   Their self perception is so far off that it hovers in a place of self delusion.    I’ve learned that you just can’t have a real conversation with women as they never consider that they could be wrong about anything.  It’s sad to say it, but the women who openly admit to wanting ‘thug’ love are the closest to being real.

Most women won’t even consider as a thought experiment….”what if I am attracted to those types of men”…despite having fell hard for those types a few times…and friend zoning or cheating on the good ones.      it’s like they can’t think outside of themselves.  It’s like they can’t admit that they are attracted to bad men.  Hell i’m attracted to some strippers, but I know I shouldn’t date one seriously no matter how cool she seems.      Instead, they choose to bury their heads in the sand and continue choosing the same types….often having kids by one or two.   Then say men are no good.

I don’t care what you say, women’s egos are just as fragile, if not more so than men’s in that respect.   It’s like being wrong is an attack on her entire character.   That’s why many keep making the same mistakes over and over again.    I’ve met many logical and intelligent women, but I haven’t come across too many if any self introspective ones.

I do know that  the energy must be one sided in my direction in order for the relationship to sustain itself.

I know it comes across as bitter vitriol, but it isn’t.  It is reality.  I accept it.  It just is what it is.   I’m not even mad at them for it.   How can I be mad at water for being wet?   Even if they can’t/won’t admit their issues.

Getting a woman isn’t the problem, keeping them is the problem.  I gotta stop worrying about how they feel.  I gotta learn to not give any fucks while only pretending to do so in order to fulfill my agenda.   Really, it’s on me to fix this about myself.

The question is how do I make this compromise without compromising my own truth.   It’s so foreign to me to not consider people’s feelings.  It all goes back to the question of what men won’t do for some pussy.  Maybe this is the order of the day.    Maybe Chad, Tyrone, Pookie, and Ray Ray are on to something.

 

 

 

Your Game is probably Trash

I’ve realized that I have weak game.   I’m idealistic, fair, and mostly principled, but the game I have is pretty freaking trash.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m me and I’m cool with myself.  I’m not horrible, but I do have a ways to go.    I realize that game is a skillset that you can learn.  While my ego is a bit bruised, I’m not broken up over it.   It is what it is, I just have to keep working on it.  It’s just another tool or skill to add to your belt of being a man.

I was listening to this dating coach and a few youtube personalities and it made me realize that it doesn’t matter how well intentioned you are….there is no substitution. The stories that they tell about the “happily” married women and girlfriends they mess with should give the most secure man pause.  Out of curiosity, I bought a program where one guy let you listen in to his phone conversations and see his text messages.  He’s a pretty good teacher and does a great job at articulating different aspects of what works, what doesn’t, and why.    He claims to have been a pickup artist for over a decade.    All I can say is WOW.   I got work to do, but at least I have a template into the structure of good conversation.   Well worth it IMHO.

Knowledge is power, the game is to be sold not told, and I don’t mind paying for something that gives me more knowledge.   The way I see it, the same way you’d pay a personal trainer or exercise program to help you train, there is nothing wrong with paying a few bucks to acquire knowledge from someone who has put in the work or has the talent to help you get results.

It would seem that women prefer a bad man with game over a good man without it.  It does beg the question of what is a ‘good’ man anyway.  Perhaps without it, I’m only fooling myself.   None of the females in my life are really into me like that.   I’m just a stand in and they probably all forget about me as soon as I leave the room.   My wife is on the fence, my lover is just having fun, and I met a new chick who is giving me hell right now.  I think I’m going to cut her.   Talk about playing hard to get, but yet she gives me just enough string to kind of hold on.   It’s probably for her own self gratification.   While our conversation is decent at best, it is a learning experience, but it’s not fun.  Maybe I’ll just hold on for the practice.   She’ll probably cut me first, but i gotta get over this aversion to pain in this arena.

While this realization hurts the ego, it is somewhat freeing in the sense that I also realize that I’m wasting too much emotional energy worrying about them.

The focus is on practice and filling out the holes in my knowledge.   I’m already fucked when it comes to them, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay that way for those in the future.   I have to quit investing.  Even though I got sex, I want more.   I don’t really want them like that, but it would be nice to be able to have them want me more.

All isn’t lost yet.   What works to my advantage is that they don’t know that I think this.   They probably don’t realize it themselves on a conscious level.   Most women don’t realize that their boyfriends have trash game.  At least, not until someone with good game gets in.   With game, picking these women off is like shooting fish in a barrel.   Fortunately, there are few men with good game, but there is enough for it to be a viable threat.  Especially if she goes out a lot.  I read a statistic that around 20% of the men get 80% of the women.   In real life, i’d say that’s off, at least from my personal experience, I’d say that about 10% of the guys I know do pretty decent.

It’s exactly why I’m against pursuing a woman’s heart.  Unless you already have  game, you’ll have to wear her down.  If you already had game like that, you wouldn’t be trying to figure out how to get it.   But even if you manage to wear her down, she’s still open to advances to guys with good game.    TBH, most women these days are morally compromised and if he can offer her an NSA encounter, she will very likely act upon it.

I don’t think that many men realize how powerful good game is.   Sorry dude, but your “good”  girl has no defense against it.  No matter how much you love, adore, cherish, treat her right, impress, sex her down, etc.     Until you master it, you always run the risk of someone with more game swooping in and taking her off your hands for a night or two.  Once that happens, game over for you.    She’ll fall out of love, lose respect, and there isn’t much you can do about it.   She won’t even feel too bad about it.  Even if she knows that she can’t have him per se, she’ll still realize that you don’t make her feel that way and will either feel ‘unhappy’  or be looking for that experience again.

I’ve been fortunate enough to see this in action.  I have also had the misfortune of having it happen to me.    I’ve heard the conversations from these guys.  They’re really good at what they do.  It’s scary, but I think that all men should be aware of it.  Noone is safe.  Even if a guy has decent game and manages to pull an attractive female, the guy with better game could pull her away and she’ll go.

This is the ugly side of nature, but I have to accept it.    It hurts, but it’s why I think it’s important to not get emotionally invested in women.   You truly have to see them as objects.   Not like inanimate objects, but more like wild animals.   As a good man, of course you want to have compassion.  They are under our domain.   But realize that they can’t really control their nature.  If you want to risk having a wild tiger living in your home, go for it, but realize that one day, it might try to eat you and you’ll be powerless to do anything about it.   Guard your heart man.

The first step is to know the nature of the game.   Then accept it.  Once you accept it, embrace it.   After that, understand it.   Then learn how to use it to your advantage.   It is a learning process and few of us have experience or knowledge on how to do so.   Thankfully, it’s an art and science, but like all subjects with this characteristic, you have to learn the science.  It’s a painful process, rejection hurts, but you gotta condition your ego to stop being so sensitive and your heart to stop loving so much.  Then you can add your own flair to it.   Another advantage is that most guys are too proud in this arena to admit that they could use some tweaking.

This isn’t easy for me either.  I’m still considering MGTOW monk.  I wonder if pussy and validation is really worth it.   Why in the hell do I even need it anyway?   I’m feeling anxiety just thinking about it right now.   Is it really worth the stress?

Regardless, I further overstand why men choose to be players.  A woman can  never love you on a real level.  She’s in love with the game.   It’s not fair, it’s not pretty, it goes against what we’ve been programmed to believe about women.  It goes against what they believe about themselves.   But you can’t argue the results.  Look at the number of single mothers out here.  I can see that many of them have kids by men who have many baby mothers already.

A man can be alpha in many aspects of life, but in the end, if his game isn’t up to par, he will also get left, cucked, or in a sexless relationship.   This is reality guys.   Women won’t admit it.  They either can’t, or just don’t know their own nature.  But again, you can’t argue with the results.

Pursuing a woman’s heart 2. Don’t do it.

The most popular title of my blog posts is called ‘Pursuing a woman’s heart’.   In it, i was speaking about how I’ve never really pursued a woman and that I never really saw a need to do so.

I’m pretty sure the content isn’t what people have in mind when they read it.   I’m thinking they want advice on how to get her interested.

Ironically, at this point, I think to actually pursue a woman’s heart is the most blue pilled and self sabotaging thing a man can do.

Here are a few reasons why pursuing a woman’s heart is a bad idea.

1)I don’t believe that a woman can ever truly love you for you.   She might fall ‘in love’ with you, but that’s only temporary.   She might project onto you what she needs/wants at the time, but eventually she’ll realize that you’re just a man.   In the end, you’re pretty much signing up for a lifetime of jumping through hoops, increasing demands, and constantly moving goal posts.  Her heart is fickle and unstable.  Even if you’re able to obtain it, it’s like grasping tightly onto a bar of slippery soap.

2)You’re investing and will probably fall deeper in love.  An old player’s trick is to get women to gradually invest more and more.  Start small and then gradually have her invest more and more.    People tend to not want to give up on things they’ve invested in.   It’s  a subconscious trick of the mind.    The more you invest, the deeper you fall.   Even if it’s a bad deal, you want to work harder to make it work out.  The subconscious mind wants a return on it’s investment and will show you reasons as to why this person is worth it….even though often times, they aren’t.

On a side note:  This can work to your advantage in a marriage though if you find yourself falling out of love with your spouse.   Just invest more and you’ll find yourself feeling it again.

3)Falling in love with a woman actually makes you weak.   They say that the person who cares the least has the most power in a relationship.    You have to always be able to walk away.   It’s much easier for women to do this… especially if she’s beautiful as there are a ton of men lined up already to simp for her.    Unless you make enough money to change her lifestyle, (and that’s dubious at best…Jeff Bezo’s wife left him…just saying)  You’re in a losing situation.  Even if you have decent game, most likely, she can replace you faster than you can replace her.

4)You’re better off trying to learn to attract her.   A woman can love you as a person, but unless she finds you attractive, she’s either going to cheat or friend zone you.   If you truly love her, you won’t be able to treat her in a way to ‘invalidate’ her.   She should be chasing your validation.    At the very least she should have to earn it.   If you just give it to her, then she won’t really appreciate it and will find you boring.    The fastest way to get heartbroken is to ‘bore’ her.  This is why she finds it difficult to leave the bad boy.  It’s why she calls you complaining about him.  It’s why you have to keep telling her she ‘deserves better’.  She knows it, but her vanity makes her ‘require’ closure.  She invests more and more as she seeks to regain the validation he took.   It’s a vicious cycle.  Look back over number 2.

5)Desperation only works in the movies.   Women may say they want the love like in romantic comedies.  In real life, over pursuing causes her to run away faster.   She has to want to be caught by you.   Blinded by love or lust, many guys turn the pursuit from a fun game of tag into a life or death slasher mover type pursuit.   She’s actually running to get away from you, not because it’s fun for her.

6)Most women are like cats.  If you’ve wanted to cuddle a cat, then you’ll realize that you’re going to have to wait until it wants to cuddle.  Forcing the issue isn’t really going to work out in your favor.  Even if you catch it, it’s going to try to run away or maybe even scratch or bite you.

7)You should have some damn self respect.  I’m not saying that you shouldn’t shoot your shot with a woman you’re interested in.   I’m just saying that if she doesn’t want you, just let it go.   Why would you want someone who doesn’t want you back  in the first damn place?  If just want sex that’s one thing.  Maybe you can trick her into that.   But if you want love, you can’t force it.   I’d go so far to say that if you love her and she doesn’t love you back, don’t have sex with her as all that will do is make you want her even more.    Contrary to blue pilled beliefs, a woman can have sex with you and not love you.  A LOT of guys out here don’t realize that they’re only stand ins.  She might settle for you because she can’t be with the guy she really wants.

8)Men should not fall in love.  I know it happens and you can’t help it sometimes, but you gotta get past that.   Acting upon these emotions like this make you very unattractive.   It’s like being afraid.   There is nothing wrong with being afraid of something.  In fact, by definition, in order to be brave, you must be afraid first.  The problem is when you act fearfully.   Falling in love is the same way.   It might happen, but you can’t act upon it.   Empires have fallen and fortunes have been lost over men who’ve fallen in love with women.  Men have killed others and themselves because they’ve been smitten by a woman who decided to leave him.    Heartbreak is one of the most damaging and traumatizing things that can happen to a man.

9)Truly falling in love with a woman will pretty much guarantee that she’ll fall out of love with you, unless you’re very  disciplined.   Acting upon this emotion will cause her to lose attraction to you even though she might appreciate it at the time.  I mean who doesn’t want someone ‘under their spell’ to speak.  The difference is that men naturally want to rule over someone while women naturally want to be dominated.   Don’t let the feminists fool you.   If you are so weak as to fall in love and can’t walk away, she will sense that and will begin to resent you subconsciously.  She will begin to mistreat you and test you.  Leave being in love to the woman.

10) Men who are in love are similar to women who are easy.  For most of us, when a woman is easy,  there is a certain level of thanks for the easy sex, but I can’t really love you in a relationship like that.     In the same way, women are like “thanks for the easy love, but I don’t really adore you like that.”   If you’re out trying to pursue her heart, then you’re already giving away easy love.    It might be appreciated if she needs that, but it won’t be respected as much.   You’ll likely end up in the stand in position and be totally unaware of it.    Sort of like how if you can’t get laid, but a chick decides to give you some.    Sure there can be exceptions to the rule, but we’re talking the rule, not exceptions.

Just like no matter what a woman does for a man, the only thing that will stop him from cheating is if he chooses not to.   The same thing goes for women, it doesn’t really matter what you do for her, she has to choose to love you.    Otherwise her love is transactional, conditional, and superficial.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Anxiety

It sort of hit me as an epiphany of sorts that I never really wanted to just have sex with a woman.   Don’t get me wrong, of course I wanted sex.  Yes, the first emotion I feel is lust when I see an attractive woman.   But I also wanted her to be a potential girlfriend/lover/or long term fwb.    I was thinking that she had to somehow at least had to have the potential to be someone I’d like to date.

I still think that way, but I’m painfully realizing that in reality, wanted to be tied down as a man is generally unattractive to a female.   I gave off ‘boyfriend’ or ‘husband’ energy which might explain partially why when I did approach, the energy was nervousness.  I put too much pressure on myself in fear of being rejected.  I somehow had to measure up to all the more handsome, smart, funny, rich, better endowed, better shaped or more personable guys that she likely had coming on to her.

Most of the women I dealt with thought I was a player or either they sensed that I really didn’t want them like that.   They made themselves available to me.  I didn’t chase so to speak.  It was only when I bowed down or gave them commitment did they actually go out and  cheat.

The few I approached probably sensed i was husband, boyfriend material, so I had the pressure of working to prove myself.

In my mind, I can see how the anxiety could/should lessen if my goal is simply to have sex and keep it moving.   It’s just all a part of having fun.   It should be fun and not some daunting task.   It’s like playing a video game where even if I die (so to speak) then just respawn and try again.   It’s really not all that serious.

In my mind, the very first step in manifestation is ‘knowing what you want.’   Ultimately, what I want is sex with as little effort as possible, and if it’s good or works out for both of us after that, then maybe we can keep seeing each other.   But the immediate goal is to have a good time and some fun sex.

I’m probably not her person anyway and she can still keep exploring other options.   There is no pressure on me to keep her entertained or be funny, clever, or anything.   I don’t have to be successful or a damn comedian.  No need to be her Mr. Right.   Just Mr. Right now.

Some guys actually want to be faithful Husbands,  available Fathers, or  a committed relationship.  Unfortunately for those guys, there really isn’t much honor in being a ‘family man’ these days.    As quiet as it’s kept, in today’s world, those men are considered unattractive or beta.   Even if that’s what women say they want, it’s not what they’re attracted to.  Look at the increasing number of divorces initiated by women and the staggering number of single mothers out here.

Now compare that to the men you might know who would probably make good husbands or fathers…..why do so many of those men have such difficulty in getting women.

It’s because most women prefer the chase of trying to get you to commit over the actual commitment…..especially if they sense that you have other options.   Girls just want to have fun.

The only way you can lose this game is if you don’t participate,  desire commitment, or actually give a fuck.

If you commit or fear walking away, there is so much pressure to measure up and keep it up.    But if you don’t, as a man, realize that it’s noone’s fault but your own.   If she lies, cheats, breaks up with you, breaks your heart, cucks you, whatever…it’s your fault.

Falling in love and catching the ‘oneitis’ is a losing proposition.  It truly is a form of madness.    While it might feel good at the onset, in reality, you slowly lose your self respect, dignity, freedom and risk the devastating fallout of heartbreak, humiliation, and involuntary cuckoldry.   The juice ain’t worth the squeeze, but I suppose that love is a powerful drug indeed.   Been there, still detoxing off of it.   I’d say that if you can stomach it, go for it, but it’s not the drug for me.

I prefer to just have fun, have safe sex, and avoid the attachments as much as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

Happiness Over Everything

We often refer to permiscuous women or prostitutes as hoes.  I’m going to expand that definition to women who believe that their happiness is more important than everything.   HOE  means Happiness Over Everything.

I had a deep conversation with a female friend this weekend about marriage and her ideas about it.   In it, she said that she doesn’t feel that people who are unhappy should stay married.  I told her about the article I read about wives wanting to leave their good husbands because they were unhappy.    How these men did nothing wrong, but they felt that they had to be “brave” even though they knew everyone else would suffer for it.

She says that people should always be pursuing their personal happiness and that life is just ‘too short’ to be unhappy.   I told her that the primary goal of marriage isn’t about happiness, but it’s about love.  It’s about loyalty and dedication.

What’s the point in getting married if you can suddenly wake up one day and walk away simply because you’re not feeling it?  What about family depending on you?   Of course she returned with “a kid can sense if their parents aren’t happy.  the best thing we can do is let them see us happy.”

Are we teaching them that it’s ok to forego our responsibilities and obligations because we aren’t as happy as we could be?   What if I decided that I wanted to go out and have unprotected sex with someone else, lie to my s/o about it because I didn’t want to get her upset, simply because I wanted to be happy.   What if molesting children made child molesters happy?   Rapists like raping people and aren’t they just trying to be happy.   Should I go out and rob someone because having their things makes me happy?

This notion of happiness over everything and everyone is the problem with the modern woman.   I’m not saying that people should be miserable, but in reality, these hoes are so selfish that they really can’t be happy in a long term relationship.   They expect us to provide everything and still give us no clue on how to make them happy.

In actuality, it appears that they thrive on misery and being hurt.   It’s almost like you have to hurt her and not really care about her in order for her to be satisfied with you.   This is why ‘nice guys’ finish last.    This is why players and fuckboys are given a million chances to fix things, but the good guy has to constantly prove himself.

I also learned that women view this relationship thing way differently.   She told me that she would have nsa sex with guys she was attracted to, but didn’t want relationships with.   She would not require him to take her on dates or would go dutch to prove that she didn’t want a relationship with him.

She would on the other hand require men she thought as husband material to take her on dates to prove how much he wanted to be with her.    I almost threw up in my mouth.   While I get it on one hand.  It sucks that a man who would try to give her everything she wanted had to wait and jump through hoops, while the other guy simply shows up to get the goodies.

So what she’s basically saying is that the best way to get into her panties is to not want a relationship with her.    Attraction is everything to these women.   This is the game folks.  This is the modern hoe.

To be successful with these hoes, we just make ourselves as attractive as possible.  Be cordial and entertaining.  Act like a friend, but let her know you want sex.   Don’t pursue a relationship.  Disrespect her every now and again.   Have other chicks on the side so that you don’t get too attached to her.  And finally, blow her back out during sex.

Lost in the Sauce

I read an article today about women who wanted to leave their ‘good’ husbands simply because they felt unfulfilled.   Add that to the constant mgtow and redpill content that I’ve been consuming lately and I’m feeling a bit down.

I now that red pill rage is real, but right now, I’m feeling a bit depressed.   It sucks to realize that these women ain’t shit.   Well, the vast majority.   Loyalty means nothing to them.   It forces me to look in the mirror and understand that my sadness comes from the fact that I probably will never be able to have that wife or forever person that I want.

The idea of loving someone and being faithful, real, and supportive has to die.   We live in an age where if you’re not playing or dating several women, then they lose attraction to you.    They will cheat.   You can’t treat a woman like you really care about her and I have to overcome that programming I’ve been ingrained with.  You really do have to objectify and use them if you want success.   You can’t give a fuck about them in any real way.

I’ve heard so many stories of guys who talk about how rampant cheating girlfriends and wives are out here.   They talk about how disrespectful these women are…giving them oral sex and returning home to their husbands….answering phone calls of their s/o’s while having sex with them, spending their husband’s hard earned money on them, while said husband at home working or taking care of the kids.

Good men are referred to as simps because apparently, we don’t understand the game.    I don’t want to be a player as I don’t want to lie, but at the same time, I’m getting to the point where I can’t trust women.  No matter now nice, real, or sincere they come across.   It’s upsetting, but I can’t bury my head in the sand any longer.

I have to put me first.   I can’t love without trust.   I don’t trust, so I can’t love.   I have to find it in me to play this game, no matter how dirty, deceitful, I have to be.   That’s not me.   It seems so wrong.   But what else am I to do.

I don’t even know why my self worth as a man is measured on how many women I can have or even if I can have any at all.   There is something in me though that needs to get this handled.   It feels like I’m losing myself.

They don’t care about my feelings….only what they can get out of me….whether it’s sex, novelty, revenge, money, validation…..who knows.  All I know is that we’re living in an age where as a man, I must protect my heart….at all costs.

How many times must I open up facebook and insta just to see women post pics about guys they so called love, only to have them post memes a few months later about ‘men’ are this or or ‘men’ are that.    It’s like looking at these dudes, it’s clear they are players.    I’m not a bad looking dude, but I treat them way too nice.   I gotta stop being so considerate and caring.   Being called nice is an insult to me at this point.   I’m just being me and it’s a constant reminder that I’m not adequate.   Noone likes the good guy, yet they claim it’s what they want.   But yet when they get us, we’re cheated on or left because we’re unfulfilling.

I don’t  care that they like the bad guy.   Why do they have to be so damn evil to guys like me though?   WTF is so wrong with me?   I don’t even really trust my lover because I haven’t done anything messed up to her in a while.

Why are women so weird in that the only way they are attracted to and respect you is if you hurt (mentally) or use them in some kind of way.   That’s truly not my nature, but I have to get over that.

Mental Hell is playing this on repeat

It’s so funny how I can normally identify dysfunction in others, but yet, I couldn’t seem to see it right in front of me.   I was thinking about how messed up my wife’s behavior has been over the course of our marriage and realized that the only reason I didn’t judge her was because she was faithful (as far as I knew).

In reality, when I think of my ideal woman, she was far from it.   Perhaps I deluded myself because I was attracted to her appearance.   What a fool I’ve been.   I know that people don’t really change unless they want to.   She doesn’t really see a problem with treating me in a way she wouldn’t want to be treated.   I dealt with it because I didn’t want to hurt our son.  While I’d understand why our son might do the same thing for his family, I wouldn’t be too mad if he decided to give up.

I also think that it exposes insecurity in me.  Perhaps it’s a natural human inclination to want to avoid abandonment.   It’s also part of my ego fearing that I’m unworthy of her.   But truthfully, I don’t deserve her.  I don’t deserve to be disrespected, unappreciated, and lied to.  I’m not saying that I deserve a 10 (she isn’t a 10).  But I do deserve reciprocity, honest communication, and basic respect.   Without those, then what am I in it for?   Why stay married to someone who either doesn’t get that or doesn’t care enough to provide those things?  Is it really too much to expect those things?

I ‘know’/’knew’ these things.   I’d tell any friend of mine that he or she does deserve those things in a spouse.  That those are the basics.   That if their s/o doesn’t give them those basics at least, then it’s time to move on.   People divorce for good and bad reasons.  In my heart, I could have forgiven the cheating.   But the disrespect, lying, gas lighting, inconsideration  is unacceptable.   This is emotional abuse.

I don’t know how I did’t realize that she is ‘one of those’ type of people that you warn others about falling in love with.   I have to admit that I chose wrong.  It took some time for me to see that.  Unfortunately, we already brought a child into the world and gave him a home.   By the time I figured it out, it was too late.   I’m left with no good options as leaving or staying will result in devastating consequences for him.

In the beginning, she told me that she didn’t want to have a child in a broken home, but yet she tore our home down without even trying to save it.   That last part stings the most as to me. Our family meant everything to me.  It was worth fighting for.   New sex and adventure, while tempting, wasn’t worth losing our nuclear family over.   Yet, I have to admit and eventually forgive the fact that ultimately, it was worth it to her.

I suppose the PR answer if asked in the future why we divorced is that our priorities and values were in different orders.   I wasn’t a saint in this either, I eventually lost my patience.   I called her out.  I said many unkind things to her after the fact.   I told close family and friends about it.   I had a few affairs she didn’t find out about (after her 2nd affair.)   I stopped praying every day for us to work it out.

I don’t regret it.  It wasn’t out of revenge.   I honestly don’t believe it would have hurt her had she found out.  That should have been the sign to get the ball rolling on divorcing.    I did it as an attempt to reclaim my masculinity and sense of worth.   I loved her more than I loved myself.   This was truly an attempt to emotionally disconnect from her.   Was I a victim?  Yes. Unfortunately, I acted like one as well.   I do regret that part.

She used the love of my family as a condition of my happiness against me.  She didn’t consider nor care about how her actions affected me.  Perhaps that was MY problem and not hers.   I was so invested. I thought I was doing the right things.  I tried to be the best husband I could be.  I loved our family more than life itself.   I felt like she owed it to us to at least try to save our family.  If not for me, at least for our son. It just felt so unfair.

How could she do this to me….to us.    What’s the point of getting married if you can just walk away without trying to fix things?  How could new dick and new relationship energy (which eventually gets old) be worth destroying a whole family over.   How could one be so selfish as to hurt everyone that’s supposed to mean the most to you just for some new adventure.   Or was I just that unworthy to her as a husband that it was worth it to her.   That’s the hard part.  I wasn’t perfect, but I really did try.   But that’s the ego speaking.

On a side note:  Let’s address the elephant in the room:    If other women think the sex is good, hell she did enough to say ‘yes’ when I asked her to marry me….and I gave her the freedom to do pretty much anything (except cheat), then what other reason could she have to not even want to try to work on things?  I’ve asked and all she can say is that she’s ‘unhappy’.   Wtf does that even mean?  She can’t or at least won’t even clarify. She just shuts down and scrolls through her cell phone as she usually does when we try to have a real conversation.

Should I really value her opinion of me if she’s willing to do that without even trying?  Our values are totally different.   Maybe she just doesn’t love me anymore.  But it does beg the question of how can you just stop loving someone for no reason other than boredom.

I can’t do this again.  This is why it’s just not wise for a man to emotionally invest in a woman.   This is their nature and all we can do is accept it.   Or end up cucked or best case scenario with a woman who doesn’t care for nor respect you.  They’re too entitled to some vague notion of ‘happiness’ that they can’t even define.   They don’t feel that they should have to work for it.   It’s a excercise in futility as your whole life you’re trying to score a touchdown while the goalposts keep moving.   All the rules in football still apply with the same number of downs.  You can never get tired, and you’ll never reach the in zone.    Marriage is hell.  Perhaps the best way to play is not to try to keep them happy and walk tf away when the game gets too hard.

Do I want revenge?  You’re damn right.   But the best way is to go our here and reclaim my happiness.   I have to overcome this fear that she’ll live happily ever after while I’m stuck missing what could have been.  I fear that after lying, cheating, abusing, and destroying our family, she will still be able to come out on the other side and find happiness.

The reality in that is that it’s really not in my hands.   I can only live my best life using the lessons I learned from this shit show.

 

 

 

Million Dollar Mouthpiece

I’ve always admired and somewhat envied people who had a knack of being funny in conversation.   I’m not sure why, but for most of my life, I was shy.   Not painfully nor awkwardly.  I can hold my own for long enough.   But I never wanted the spotlight on me because I knew that eventually, I’d run out of things to say.   There are very few people I’ve come across where I could just sit and talk for hours (while sober) and feel that space of mental freedom and creativity.

It’s the main reason I drink so much and self medicate.   It’s why I generally stick to myself and don’t go out much.   I’m not sure why this is so hard.   I don’t feel weird around others while sober.  I’m fairly confident.   I’m satisfied with how I look.   I think I’m intelligent enough.  I make decent money.   I just don’t know why I can’t start and maintain an interesting and stimulating conversation with people.

When I come across guys who have the gift of gab, I often find myself a bit jealous.   It’s not that I’m mad that they have it, it just makes me realize how much I wish that I did.   I could be so much more successful in life with it.   When I see an attractive woman, I often don’t approach because I just don’t know what to say.  It’s not that I’m afraid per se.  It’s just that the words and ideas won’t come.

You would think that all you had to do was to start a conversation about what’s going on.   Easier said than done for me.   Even when I replay scenarios in my head, I rarely come up with something that I could have said.

It’s just English.  I’ve been speaking it my entire life.   But yet, formulating interesting enough conversation seems down right impossible when it comes to that.  I don’t even think I’m afraid of rejection.  I get that everyone is not ‘for’ me.   I realize that you never know until you try.   But still, it seems like a suicide mission because I don’t know what to say.  It’s almost like it’s a waste of time and I’d end up feeling worse because it points directly to a problem that I just can’t seem to help.

How odd is it that I can recognize humor and wit, but yet not be able to formulate it on my own?   I can laugh at funny people all day, I can follow their line of reasoning, even agree to a large extent, but yet am unable to articulate myself in that way.    It’s frustrating and infuriating.    I have yet to think of a single thing that is holding me back.   It does seem that something is blocking that part of my mind from working though.

A lot of guys think that money and looks are all that’s needed to get women.   I disagree.  Sure, it might get their attention, but you have to be able to talk.  In fact, I’d say that if your conversation / wit/ humor is on point, those other things aren’t really all that necessary.   They help for sure, but the mouthpiece part is crucial.

I wonder if this is something that can be developed.  It’s gotten to the point that when I’m drunk and in that mood, I ask myself what’s so different.   What is so different about how I feel then that I feel that I can go out and make great conversation with almost anyone?   Why are my responses to what someone says so quick and relevant?   I don’t feel out of my mind.  I still feel like me.  I can still acknowledge all the good and bad in my life, but yet something is different.   I’d call it confidence, but the confidence is due to the fact that I just know what to say.

I realize that most people don’t have the gift of gab.   But i’d say that I’m a little below average in that department.   It bothers me because I recognize it.  I hate that I’m an entirely different person when sober.   But I don’t want to rely on  alcohol.   Come to think of it, I do notice that many of my ‘gifted’ peers drink A LOT.  But there are some who still seem to have it while sober.

I used to study pickup and it made me realize that while ‘outer game’ is interesting enough.   Inner game is where the gold is.   You have to be able to generate the lines and techniques from within.   Outer game is just some guy’s outer expression of an inward feeling.  Being able to emulate the outer technique can work in the right context, but the goal is to be able to reverse engineer it.    My outer game really pretty decent when intoxicated.   But why is my inner game so weak when sober?

I made note of how I feel in my body when drunk and it’s….  I still feel mostly the same, but just a little different.  A little more relaxed.   It’s like I’m looking forward to the future.  My breathing is deep. Slow inhalations and long exhalations.    I feel excited about the future as opposed to unsure.   It’s like I can acknowledge that even though something bad might happen, I’ll be ok.   I can handle it.   I feel that way when sober, but just not excited about it.  Maybe that’s the key.  Feeling excited, yet relaxed?