Nice Guys don’t lead

Nice/Good guys generally want the woman to lead him into having sex.  Or they want things to ‘just happen.’   They often hesitate to make the first move.   They make their intentions unclear for fear of either rejection or making the woman feel uncomfortable.

In general, he has to realize and put the oneness on himself and give her the plausible deniability.  He is often double minded himself and thus acts unsure of himself.  This leads to a bit of creepiness and awkwardness.

He has to be able to read the signs of her interest though.  This isn’t for the weird or creepy incel type.  This is for the decent looking, socially adapted male who is decent at reading people.

You have to know what you want.   There exists in our minds, a dichotomy in knowing what you want vs what you don’t want.  Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, put more focus on what you want.   Focus on the feeling of already having it.   Then trust your instincts to guide you there.   Your instincts will lead the way.

Over thinking causes you to focus on that dichotomy of (want vs don’t want).    It again takes you to the double mindedness which leads to awkwardness.   Stay the course.   Have the faith.   Calibration is simply to gauge interest.   I should caution that it can easily lead back to the double mindedness if persisted in for too long.

Persist in your faith that you will have what you desire.   That faith is the feeling.   Visualization is useful, but over visualizing it somewhat limits the universe.   In reality, you’re not really seeking the thing itself, but the feeling that comes along with having the thing.   Allow the universe to work its magic.    The more specific you are in the way you want the universe to work, the more you block your manifestation.  But some is needed to give you a map of the direction to go in.   It’s an art.  Not too much nor too little.   The destination is the emotional ‘feeling’ you desire to have that.

This ‘feeling’ is faith.   Persist in reaching that.   “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you” Matthew 6:33 – 34.

The kingdom of God (heaven) is an emotional state.

It seems that the nature of the universe is to test your faith.   It will sometimes throw challenges to see if you can persist in it.   This aspect can be called Satan.  The events are called evil.   Don’t believe your eyes, or better yet, believe them, but don’t let it deter you from thinking that you’re making progress towards the desired feeling.    Faltering away from your desire is called sin.   Sin (missing the mark) is the lack of confidence or losing faith (of the feeling that you will achieve that desired goal).

Jesus Christ is a metaphor for dying to yourself.   Your thoughts have to die to give way to your feelings.   Your thoughts will resurrect if you kill the negative (logical).   Your thoughts can pull you away from your feeling.  Interpreting the events in a negative can affect your thoughts which in turn can affect your feeling/faith.   Yet all isn’t lost as you have the ability to consciously change your thoughts.  You may not feel like changing them, but you have to be disciplined in this if you find that your thoughts are negative.   These negative thoughts will affect your feelings causing you to go off course.

Good guys have a subconscious mindset that leading women into sex is somehow wrong.  It comes from the idea that women are somehow righteous or delicate flowers.   In truth, they are amoral.   They will in general follow your lead if you are persistent and consistent enough.   They follow confidence and faith.

 

 

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The simpining

There she sits on a beautiful beach, taking selfies and posting them to facebook.   Makeup on fleek, body on banging, and hair laid out like nobody’s business.   She’s fine ya’ll I gotta admit.   But for some reason, I’m not impressed.   In fact, as I see her beauty on display for the world to see, the arrogance and narcissism is likened to a giant horse fly landing on top of a perfectly cooked steak and baked potatoes dinner.    I’m disgusted.

Is this what the redpill does to you?  Dozens of thirsty simps like the pics including my brother in law.   A few posting how beautiful she is.

I continue scrolling down my facebook timeline and see that new moderator in my fraternity is starting to post pics of half naked chicks for us to see.   They’re beautiful and of course they get dozens of likes, comments, and guys talking about how fine they are.   Yet, I’m not interested.  I’m disgusted.   In fact, I’m really thinking about unfollowing.

Here is the conflict.   Despite losing a lot of respect for women over the last few months, I’m still not in a position of objectifying them just yet.   I’m thinking that subconsciously, I know the danger of beautiful narcissistic women.   I know that they make men weak.   It’s like a trap.  A mirage of sorts.

Perhaps I’m getting too old for this shit.   I just turned 40.   I’m just not interested in the teasing.  I’m suddenly opposed to feeding these chicks’ need for validation.   I feel as if we men are complaining about the behavior of women this day and age and yet we go out and voluntarily create these monsters.

Is it wrong for them to ‘flaunt what they got’?  In a sense no, I suppose.   Yet at the same time, I believe that it’s not helpful to the cause of bringing these narcissistic bitches down a peg or two.  It’s just out of control.   It reminds me that their power over us comes from our seeming inability to control our sexual urges.   It’s a sign of weakness imho.  It’s why we’re out here losing this gender war so to speak.

Public displays of thirst is starting to annoy me as much as these women claim that it annoys them.   But being that I have no interest in this type of woman anyway, it shouldn’t matter.   If she wants to be seen as an object of sex, then what business is it of mine?   Just as I don’t like strip clubs, but don’t mind if others go, I should view this the same way.

I have to accept and understand that most men haven’t swallowed the red pill yet.   Even many of the pussy hounds and so called  ‘alpha’ men are still blue pilled af.

Maybe I’m subconsciously jealous and fear that I could never pull a woman like that.   But honestly, I think I could pull one.   Keeping her might be another issue though.   It doesn’t matter at all.  As of now, I’m not really interested unless she’s doing most of the heavy lifting.   Even then, I know how the game works.

Maybe the last piece I’m missing the ability to simply objectify them.  Perhaps my peers aren’t fully wrong in this.    Maybe I am taking this shit a little too seriously.   The middle ground is that it’s ok to objectify without feeding them the validation.

“That bitch”….suddenly has a new context.

 

 

Gaming is a fight

Gaming is like a combat sport.   Many aspects are cerebral and can be practiced alone.  Weights, cardio, bag work, shadow boxing, and katas are things that can be done to improve different aspects of your fighting.   While all very important aspects of the martial arts, the thing that separates combat sports (boxing, kickboxing, mma) from most traditional martial arts (aikido, karate, tai chi, kung fu) is live sparring.

You can read all the game theory books in the world, watch all the videos on youtube, download all of the coaching manuals, but until you get out there and approach, you’re not really getting it.   As Mike Tyson famously quoted “everyone has a game plan until you get punched in the face.”

Gaming and cold approach is very similar.   I’ve done some boxing sparring and some  point taekwondo sparring.  The difference between boxing sparring and point sparring  is huge.   It’s different when someone is trying to hit you hard and those mistakes actually hurt vs the hits are expected to be light showcasing technique over power.   One is like getting punched with bad intentions where the other is like playing tag.    Boxers and combat sport players have the distinct advantage of being able to maintian their composure after being stunned because they’ve gotten used to it.

In a similar fashion, many players tell you that gaming/cold approach is absolute paramount if you want to get good quickly.    You have to go out there with a game plan, get hit in your face (rejected) or have an awkward interaction and continue to go with it.   It takes balls.    To have an interaction go south and maintaining composure without bailing or freaking out takes a bit of experience.

It’s not easy, but in the end worth it.   They say that roughly 20% of men are out here messing with 80% of the women.  This tells me that 80% of men are not out here sparring.    Obtaining this skills should make things like being a rooster in a hen house.

For me, and I suspect many guys, cold approach is about as nerve racking as public speaking.   It’s like your first few times sparring going all out.  All of that theory and technique goes out of the window as you go into survival mode.  You get tunnel vision, you telegraph your punches, you throw haymakers, you forget to keep your hands up,  you forget to breath.   You do whatever you gotta do to survive, but after enough times, your body adapts to the shock and you’re then able to begin to apply the techniques you’ve been learning about.  Then you’re ready to start learning.

There isn’t much of a buffer from the pain with cold approach.   Rejection stings, bottom line.   If you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re very likely going to get “punched, hard, in the face.”    But having a game plan is better than none.    You want to get to the point where your mind is used to being in the ‘fire’ so that you can begin to flow with the techniques.

To be honest, I’d say that hard sparring IS the number one thing to do.   An untrained person who just got into a lot of fights in life will probably do better against a boxer who trained but never/rarely sparred.

It’s a matter of resiliance and getting back out there.   From what I hear, most players don’t have a .500  record.   From my understanding it is a numbers game, but batting around .300 makes you pretty good.  Out of 20 approaches they say that beginners can expect to get about 4 numbers and maybe one of those should pan out into a date.   That’s about 5 dates to every 100 girls approached.   I think I can do better, but these are numbers I hear.  I have no idea how they meet so many women.   I don’t think I even see 100 women in a month.    Regardless, I have to stop being such a pussy, glove up, and hit the ring.

If even the greats tell you that they still get rejected sometimes, it’s safe to say that I should expect the same.    Of course a cocky, arrogant attitude can get you further and I suspect why it’s the reason so many players are cocky sobs.

I have to learn to look at cold approach like sparring.   All of the inner work and research is preparation, but I have to step into the ring and just do it….butterflies and all.

On another point, I realized that I have to always be leading the interaction in the beginning.   When I do approach, I have to pretty much have an outline of where and how I want the interaction to go.   I can’t leave it up her or chance to kind of see where it goes.  I should have a game plan in mind and at least attempt to stick to the script.

The game plan is as soon as I see her:

 

Power UP/ Energy Work

1)articulate what I want mentally, specifically (a short conversation, build small rapport and a little attraction and exchange contact info) …. 1st few seconds

2)expect a positive outcome (maintain confidence, she laughs or doesn’t run off, gives me her info, wants me to call/text)….. feel how it would feel to have achieved this….2nd few seconds

DO IT

3)approach (lead the interaction by keeping the energy of steps 1 and 2)…by the 10TH second.

4)Follow up the next day or two and go from there.

Sounds so basic….until I get punched in the face.  I’m ready though.

 

 

 

 

Being a player is a must

It’s no mystery that women are complicated.   I’m learning game in theory and some of the stuff works, but results are mixed.  What works for some doesn’t work for others and that’s not surprising.   The thing is that there are tons of potential land mines that can cause her to lose interest at any given moment.

I’ve noticed that you have to have an edge and you can’t want a relationship.   You can’t give off the boyfriend vibe and you have to have it set up where you she knows you can walk away at any time.   You have to keep her chasing.   You must do messed up things to her sometimes like flake or get caught in a lie.  You have to be talking to two or 3 at minimum at all times.  This is not optional.   Having one girl is setting yourself up to have none.  She can almost sense it if you don’t.

You have to limit your your contact with her.   No matter how bad she wants the attention.   You have to be a player or at least have her think that you could be one.

There is a double standard here.  Most guys won’t lose attraction for a woman based on the idea that she isn’t a ho.  In fact, we really like ‘good’ girls.  We’d prefer her to not display the characteristics of a female player.   We actually like it when we believe she’s a good girl.   I don’t understand why so many women want to be called ‘bad bitches’.  Being a good girl doesn’t guarantee that the guy won’t cheat, but it isn’t a cause of him losing attraction either.

There is a dark side to women’s nature when it comes to attraction.   Being good is unattractive to them.    This is why nice guys finish last.   Treating her the way you’d like to be treated just doesn’t work if you want to attract and keep her.     Genuinely good guys are losing out here when it comes to women.   The rule of thumb is to sin now and ask for forgiveness later.

Good men have a problem with this.  It’s why there is so much frustration out here.   It’s why the MGTOW movement is growing exponentially.    Good men cannot be themselves and must take on the characteristics of a narcissist.   We cannot care about her for anything other than sex and compliance.   Bottom line.  We have to learn to walk the balance between acting like an asshole and actually being an asshole.   The latter being preferable.   You act nice, you act like you care, but the hard part is actually not caring.  This is where the narc has the advantage and are so successful with women.

Charming, confident, and sexy behavior is a must.   But you genuinely have to be emotionally disconnected from her.    I have to learn to shut off the part of me that wants to care.   I’m not saying that I should not care, but just be like, I could take it or leave it.

Put more simply, it’s better to say that you love her and not mean it than to say it and actually mean it.   As messed up as that sounds, it’s the only way.   You genuinely cannot care about her feelings, but you have to pretend that you do or potentially could.   We have to learn from the narcs and either play that game or prepare to be alone, frustrated, and cucked.    Being a player is a must.

The bottom line is that you cannot be in love a woman.    You can like her sure.   She may say / act like she wants love, but the reality is that truly loving a woman is a turn off for them.    Falling in love with  her is a curse, it’s a cosmic joke.   She will lose attraction because of that love.    Show love, but never be in love.

For us, love is an action, not a feeling.    Love is a habit, not an emotion.   That feeling or emotion is something else, it’s limerance.  It is insidious.  It’s an unhealthy attachment or addiction.    Keep your nose clean gentlemen.

You can want her, but falling in love implies that you need her.  Once she senses that, you’re done.   She might stay with you for a while, but trust and believe you will begin to exhibit certain characteristics that will ultimately turn her off.   It’s better to keep her attracted than to give her that sense of stability as if you can’t walk away.   Regardless of what she tells you.  It’s not what she really wants nor need.

The ideal scenario is that she is in love with you, but you control her.   They cannot admit it, but it’s what they really prefer.  Here is the cold truth.   She has to work for your validation or she will lose interest and not even know why.

Here is why:     She loses interest because she loses attraction.   She loses attraction because you start smothering her.   You start smothering her because you didn’t want to lose her.   You didn’t want to lose her because you were in love with her.   You got attached.

The way you stop that attachment is to have several on your team.   It’s a must.   Keeping her should ideally never be a priority.  Never invest more than you’re willing to lose be it time, energy, emotions or resources.   Look at a woman like a recreation or hobby.   Falling in love is more like an addiction.  It’s an unhealthy attachment.

This makes marriage untenable for most good men.   We end up loving our home and family.   We desperately cling to try and keep it.   We fear losing it.   We don’t want to hurt the kids.   Modern selfish women cannot see that and lose attraction since they think it’s about them specifically.    They begin to feel trapped and ‘unfulfilled’.  Regardless of what you do for them.   If she feels you love the family more, she still feels that you love her more as well.   Thus the attraction level plummets.   Some might stay for the kids sake, but the sex will fall off.   Many will cheat and increasingly will simply leave.

Cheating might help, but then again, that could also blow up in your face depending on the woman.    At the end of the day, it’s too risky.   She will change for the worse and now not only will you be hurt, your kids might be as well.    It’s best not to give a kid a home than to give them one and take it away because she lost attraction and respect for you.

Stay frosty man.

 

It’s on me now

After fully ingesting the red pill and understanding the nature of the modern woman, I’ve come to the conclusion that there really is no longer a reason to complain.   It is what it is.   The question is, where do I go from here?  MGTOW seems viable.  I’m not ready for monk mode, I still enjoy sex and whatever that feeling of temporary satisfaction I feel when I have sex with a woman.

The best solution is to have multiple women on the side.   Not saying that it’s easy, but in reality, I have to put in the work to make that happen.   It’s too risky to be out here enjoying sex with just one woman.   It’s too easy to get attached, jealous, and worry about what she’s doing on the side.    I’m needy, I dont’ like sharing, but in the end, this is what life has come to.   Commitment doesn’t work.   She’s only committed until she isn’t and most likely won’t let you know when she’s no longer feeling it.

Any thoughts for raising a traditional family must die.  I think that part hurts the worst, but I’ve been sold a bill of goods my whole life.  I gotta get past that programming.  She literally can’t choose to love.   There is only attraction.

She isn’t the enemy.   It’s just her nature.   I can’t be angry no more than I could be angry at a wild tiger for attacking me if were to try to keep it as a pet.   She just doesn’t get it.  She could never love me the way I would love her.    In real life, she probably isn’t capable.   What’s love to them, but the chemicals and emotions I could make her feel. Attraction and feeding her delusions.     This is all it is.   I just have to learn to control those for my advantage and try not to hurt her in the process.

I’m cool with it all.  I don’t know why I have this desire to just want my person and be done with this dating and information.   She is just a fantasy.   No more real than the easter bunny or santa.   The point is to enjoy her for the moment, not get attached, nor bitter that I can’t be attached.   Even if she can’t understand why.  She doesn’t know her own nature.    Who’s at fault isn’t the question for me.   I don’t need to know the why as maybe it is designed to be that way.

Love isn’t dead.  It just wasn’t what I thought it was.

 

 

 

It’s the drugs man

Falling in love is one of the most dangerous things you can do with your life.   You literally get addicted to a person and the withdrawals can be brutal.    Many people alleviate the pain by jumping from one relationship to the next.   There is generally an overlap and in that period you’re cheating.   Serial monogamists are notorious for this.   Because the dating market is easy for decent women, they are at a distinct advantage in this arena.

As a man, it is mandatory that you learn game and have several options available at all times.    It really is dangerous to have all of your eggs in one basket.   This weekend, i realized that I might be in danger of falling ‘in love’ with my lover.   This is a scary prospect.   I suppose it might be impossible to just have sex with someone for so long and not develop feelings.

It’s an odd feeling to know that I don’t really love her like that, but I’m starting to feel a bit possessive.   NSA my ass.   FWB is some bullshit.   On one hand, it is easy to have situationships that aren’t clearly defined.   On the other, once the attachment sets in, it’s hard to just let it go.

I gotta do better.  I know better.   I understand that it’s chemicals.   I know that my body and hers are bonded during this ‘honeymoon’ period.   Yet and still, I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be for me to let it go.    I see how people can get stuck in dysfunctional relationships.   I see how sex can indeed be dangerous.    Given that women have a shit ton of options these days and the fact that they can be fickle, it’s clearly not in a man’s best interest to be bonding with these women unless I have a gameplan.   That’s the downside to consistent NSA sex.

I suppose it is like knowing that meth is addictive and choosing to take it anyway.  As if knowledge of addiction can somehow stop you from getting addicted.    How stupid is am I?

I’m kind of afraid of falling for her.  I know we wouldn’t be great together.   As a friend, she’s cool, but as a girlfriend or something, it would probably be fucked up.   We really only connect sexually.   I like it like that.   But i don’t want the chemical bond we have to fuck me up mentally.   I know that as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, we’ll probably both look back and say “what the fuck was I thinking?”  She is a party girl.   Definitely not wifey material for me even though she ultimately wants to be married to someone some day.

I’m pretty sure she’s not upfront about her sexual past and I’m guessing that she’s probably had a few one nighters.   Maybe I have to fall back for a few.   It’s getting intense.  I can see the storm on the horizon.

 

 

 

Double Standards exist for a reason

I’m coming to the conclusion that these women are just as irresponsible as men.   It’s sad, but it’s pretty obvious due to the many single mothers out there.  I always figured that since they would pretty much be on the hook for a kid in failed relationships, that they would at least be more cautious with who they slept with.

Apparently not these days.   These women think that men and women are equal across the board.  Especially when it comes to casual sex and dating.   It’s so far from the truth.

Double standards exist for a reason.

Good sex will get a woman dickmatized and she’ll end up having a kid with a no good dude because she’s on cloud 9.   They will gladly take attraction over quality.  They will ruin a good relationship simply because they often can’t cheat without losing attraction to the guy they are with.   Their loyalty and hearts primarily follow their attraction which generally wanes over time.

Men generally will not fight for a woman if he finds out she’s sleeping with someone else.  In fact, most find it disgusting.  It’s not attractive on ANY level.  It’s why men very rarely give a woman second chances if he finds out she’s sleeping around.   Women, on the other hand, low key like the idea of their man having a few options.  They like the idea of knowing that other women want her man.  In fact, i’m pretty sure that she loses a bit of attraction or respect for him if she thinks that she’s the only option he has.

On the other hand, I could give two shits if I’m the only man who wants her.   In fact, I’d prefer if she had limited options due to the fact that I know that on any given night she could get laid.

Another reason for the standard is that the more bodies she had, the less desirable she is.    Seriously, who wants to wife a ho.   It’s degrading and somewhat embarassing to claim a woman with an extensive sexual past.    Women don’t mind dating a ‘reformed’ player.  In fact it seems that it’s what they prefer.  They sort of like the idea of making an ‘honest’ man out of a guy.    We already know that you can’t turn a ho into a housewife.   We don’t even try.

Many women advocate dating multiple men at the same time.   Not only are they shooting themselves in the foot for the aforementioned reasons,  but lowering their perceived value.  A woman’s body is like a car in the sense that the more miles it has, the less valuable it is.

If I know that a woman is dating other men at the same time, I’m not paying for anything.  Let him pay.   Just call me for sex.   Often times, they will do just that.   If i had to choose to either be the guy who she calls for sex or the guy she calls when she wants to go out, give me the 1st option.   Even then, I’m not going down on her.   As much as I like going down, I’m not risking the possibility of left over swimmers touching my tongue.   It sort of ruins the idea of sex for me.   Plus you never know if she’s deciding to go through a ‘ho’ phase.   The other dude might also have an STD,  or she might get pregnant and not know who the father is.    Miss me with that.

Another reason is that women with a lot past sexual partners tend to be psychotic.  I don’t know if she’s crazy because she had a lot of partners or if she has a lot of partners because she was crazy, but either way, i don’t have time for crazy.

A woman who can’t be satisfied with one man is also not long term wifey material.   If she can’t work with what she has, it shows that when times get tough, she’ll go out and find another man to fulfill whatever it is that we’re missing.   I’m good off that.  Let’s be real, no relationship is perfect, you gotta be willing to sacrifice something.

Most men can’t handle their wife, girlfriend, affair partner, situationship or whatever you call it these days dealing with other men.   They know it.    This means that she will have to lie, at least about the nature of that relationship.    If she lies then there is no trust and without trust, it’s pointless.   Nothing cuts a man harder than knowing that his s/o is sleeping around.    There are some dog ass men who don’t care, but to me, it’s a deal breaker.  These guys are either beta as fuck or ain’t shit guys.   I have enough self respect to be neither.

I’m not saying that men should lie or cheat on a woman.   It is dishonorable and it makes women more likely to engage in shady behavior in future relationships.    While i never tell a woman that I’m dealing with that she can’t go out and date.  I’ll listen to her complaints and give her the freedom to choose.  I’d prefer to create a judgment free zone so that she can feel safe enough to tell me the truth.

I’ve realized that most can’t really handle truth when they hear it though and lose attraction to you when you do.   I find myself losing more and more respect for them for that reason.   At the same time, I am learning that there are real differences in how we handle reality.   I’m starting to think that we truly perceive the world in different ways.  I’m not as mad as I used to be as I realize that I can’t hold them to the same moral standards as I would hold a man.

I think that we as men hold the superior high ground.    Being mostly raised by my mother and surrounded by sisters, I used to believe in all that equality stuff.   Yes, I’m all for equal pay and equal opportunity to make money.   But not when it comes to dating.

We as men do have luxuries that women don’t.  At the same time, in general, they also have it much easier when it comes to attracting men, so it balances it out.

Relationships aren’t working these days because women want to be like the dishonorable men they are attracted to.   Decent men are taking note and are choosing to either disengage or act like bad men because it works with women, but it also creates more bad women.    We’re all screwed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like a moth to a flame

Perhaps I’m just a man scorned.  That doesn’t mean that I can’t objectively look at the trends.  It seems that women are attracted to men who exhibit toxic behavior.  Sure they don’t like the consequences.   Sure, they complain, get hurt, cry, write songs, and bash men.   But it can’t be denied that the type of men that show these characteristics are doing very well with women out here.

I’m tired of reading articles and hearing stories from women complaining about how they are so hurt over what these guys are doing to them.   I’m tired of hearing about how selfish he is and how they want a man to just treat them well.   I’m tired of saying they want a man who listens to them.

At the same time, they call these ‘ideal’ men weak.   Too often they say, they don’t want to ‘run over him’.    Being considered nice is a red flag to them.  The asshole seems powerful and dominant to them.   It’s attractive and it seems they are powerless to resist, even to their own emotional detriment.

I’ve realized that the difference between women and men are greater than I thought. Women aren’t too logical when it comes to choosing a mate.   They go with the stupid mantra of “the heart wants what it wants.”  in order to justify their bad decisions.   What they consider their “heart” is actually their pussy.   If he makes her wet, then she’s pretty much putty in his hands.

In my own personal mind, attractiveness and love don’t really have much to do with each other.   Strippers are often beautiful women physically.   Many are personable and intelligent.   They can have great and interesting conversations.   If we have sex, it probably is great.   Yet, her occupation makes so that I won’t be investing my emotional energy into thinking that I can change or save her.    A woman with a permiscuous past or who has a history of cheating lets me know that I shouldn’t risk falling in love with her.  Let alone knocking her up.

No matter how beautiful and charming she is.  It does’t matter how good she makes me feel at the time.  I personally believe that if she has this effect on me, she has the ability to charm and make her past ‘victims’ feel great and become addicted to her.    I don’t think that I have the magic penis or the heart of healing that will change her.   No matter what she says to me at the time.  Sooner or later, she will turn on me too.

It’s amazing how women can be so deceitful, yet naive at the same time when it comes to toxic men.    Perhaps they are cursed to love that which harms them and be repelled by those who would actually give them what they say they want.

I was always amazed how women often fall for guys who they know have a reputation of playing women.  Or guys who have many baby mothers.   I suppose that there is something that they are saying or doing.   But you’d think they’d realize that if  he has a way with the ladies, then maybe he’s also using his charm on her.   What makes her think that she’ll be any different this time.  You would think that she’d realize that he makes her feel the same way he made these other women feel.   That he made them promises or led them to believe that they’d be the ‘one’.    And yet she is shocked when she discovers that he is playing her, is cheating, or has ‘fallen for someone else’ and no longer wants to be with her exclusively.

Their bitterness and anger over it reinforces the notion that women are stupid.   I’m not mad at these guys and in fact, I’m thinking that perhaps I can learn from them.   The blue pill notion that you can treat them well forever and keep them attracted hasn’t served me well at all and in fact got me cheated on multiple times.  It seems that the better you treat them, the worse they treat you.

What’s worse is that they almost always deny it.  While telling me that women don’t want a charming asshole, they are often involved with one and can’t seem to leave them alone for too long.   Perhaps for me, the signs are obvious.  I no longer say anything when they bring a ‘chad’ or ‘tyrone’ by because they should know the signs at this point.  They’ll deny the flags and believe that because they’re a ‘good’ woman, things will be different. I’ve even seen a few get pregnant by these guys and when he leaves, she acts all surprised and angry at him.

Point out that he has 4 different baby mama’s their go to excuse is that he’s a good father to all his kids.  Point out that he has a reputation, they say, people change.   Point out he’s currently dealing with a chick, then “she’s crazy. He doesn’t want her anymore, but she keeps stalking him.”    All true life stories btw.

Then again, if they bring a guy who seems pretty decent around, they often end up saying things like he’s boring or he’s too nice.    Sure, he pays for dates, opens my car door up.   Replies to my texts on time.   Texts me good morning every morning.   But something is off.

As decent men (men with good intentions) we have to learn that if we want success, we have to stop being nice to them.  Take a page from the asshole’s book.    We must learn to be selfish.   We have to learn to override the programming our mothers and society as whole has given us.   Smothering them with too much unearned attention is a bad thing.   You cannot kiss her ass and you must  always be willing to walk away.   It’s a much harder task when she’s the only woman in your life.   Onenitis or falling for her for real for real is the kiss of death in a relationship.

The bottom line is that we have to kill this idea or notion that ‘real’ love is in the cards for us.   Learn to be emotionless when it comes to that and you’ll do much much better.    Remember that this is just a game.   You can never be too concerned with the outcome.

 

 

 

“It ain’t love unless it hurts.”

There is nothing worse than being emotionally attached to someone who doesn’t share the same feeling.   It is an emotional trap.  It seems as if giving someone emotional energy that isn’t reciprocated somehow causes you to become more attached to that person.

I wonder if it’s because you are looking to get that energy back.   Perhaps you aren’t looking for the ‘investment’ to pay off.   But you’re seeking to get back at least what you put in.   On the flip side, receiving that type of energy from someone that  you don’t like in that way seems to empower you.

I’ve noticed that  getting the attention from a female that I don’t share the exact same feelings for gives me a sense of superiority.  It’s a feeling similar to self righteousness.    It feels good to know that I’m wanted, but at the same time, it feels good to accuse them of being needy or clingy.   Yes, it’s hypocritical, but truth isn’t always pretty.

When they stop giving me that attention, I sort of miss it.   Depending on how invested they are, I might say just enough to give them hope enough to want to get back.  Being ambiguous works wonders in this scenario.    In essence, I’d be using them for the attention or validation, while not desiring to be with them.   Most of this is subconscious as it’s not something I’m consciously/purposely doing.

I think this is due to the energy exchange that feels empowering.   In a sense, I’m taking more than I’m giving and feels good on an ego level.   It powers my ego.   While this hasn’t happened often nor nearly to the degree where it’s damaging to the other person, I can see how having someone fall deeply in love with you can be addictive.  Even if it is detrimental to the other person as it causes them deep emotional distress.

This dangerous exchange of energy is why it’s imperative not to fall in love.    While in the beginning, the feeling may be mutual, the other person has to be able to handle that kind of power.   The vanity of many modern day women and select men makes them bad candidates to invest that kind of power in.   Any tipping of the scales can cause things to go off course.   The power trip is more than they can handle and often they will give you just enough hope in order to keep receiving that supply of emotional energy or pussy or resources.    Even if it hurts you.

I believe it’s  why the best way to get someone back is to truly get over them.    Of course by then, you don’t want them back.    No amount of acting, no contact, side lovers, etc will be enough.   You have to truly be over them.

The best way is to never fall in love.   If you do fancy someone a little too much, it’s best to view it as cocaine or any other drug with addictive properties and quit before it takes you over.   Easier said than done, I know, but it’s necessary.   Falling in love is like an addiction.   It feels good, but you become dependent on that person to satisfy a portion of your overall well being.    Like with most drugs, the temporary feeling of ecstacy is not worth the potential hazards.   Especially with someone who has a lot of options.

Beautiful women are cool, fucking them great, but falling in love with them is dangerous as shooting heroin.    Hell, these days, as thirsty as men are, any decent looking woman has the potential to be a threat as she can easily monkey branch to the next simp who falls for her beauty or the potential to have sex.   Love without morals is chaos.   Welcome to the modern relationship culture.

I’ve come to realize that I am addicted to feeling loved and adored.  It is truly my weakness.    Looks, intelligence, even compatibility aren’t really all that high on the scale.   Don’t get me wrong, I mean she can’t be stupid or ugly, but as long as she’s decently attractive and can hold a decent conversation, she can get me by showing me love, submissiveness, and adoration.

I’m sure that most decent men want this, but our problem is that we want to reciprocate.  When we do, it’s usually game over after a few months or so.   Men who desire to  reciprocate emotions aren’t really made for this love game.  We eventually become beta, cucked, left behind, or the recipient of paltry pity sex.   The only way to maintain attraction is to allow the love to flow in one direction.   She has to love you, but you cannot love her back.

My redpill knowledge has awakened me to the facts of female hypergamy…..that her love is only temporary and that she’s never mine, it’s only my turn.  Unless you don’t love her back.   Despite this, I find myself in a position where I still want to be a one woman type of guy.

I know that having eyes for one woman might be what they say they want, but I know better…..even if they don’t.    She will lose attraction if I give myself over to her despite me  wanting to.   The blue pill programming is so deep within me that I wonder if it was society programming me.   Maybe being a ‘family guy’ is in my dna.

Despite what society, red pill advocates, and many women say, not all men want a lot of women.

Many men would be satisfied with just one decent one who kept it real with them.  Unfortunately, most women find this unattractive in men.    They’d prefer to make him that way, but he can’t come to the table like that.   If she does happen to come across one that she can change, then she will also lose attraction to him.

Accepting this nature of women is harder than I imagined, but no one said life was easy.   How ironic is that I’m at the point where I am advocating that men keep cheating in order to protect their hearts.    The cold truth is that we have to cheat in order to keep her interested.   It’s a necessary evil.    We have to treat them like objects in order for her to respect us.   We have to be ambiguous and emotionally unavailable because ultimately, it’s what the modern woman wants.   Most are not happy unless she’s miserable and she’s miserable if she’s happy. I just hate that they lie to themselves, especially when those lies will end up hurting you.   Nice guys will keep getting burned until they figure this out.

I hate how most women can’t just look at their choices in what attracts them and see that this is the case.   It’s like you give them the evidence by calling out or asking why her past relationships didn’t work and they still seem to miss it.   The more educated they are, the harder it seems for them to look at their choices and do some self reflecting.  All men aren’t bad, just the ones they’re mostly attracted to.   It ain’t love unless it hurts should be their slogan.  Otherwise, you’re going to bore her to death.

It’s frustrating and an exercise in futility.   Their self perception is so far off that it hovers in a place of self delusion.    I’ve learned that you just can’t have a real conversation with women as they never consider that they could be wrong about anything.  It’s sad to say it, but the women who openly admit to wanting ‘thug’ love are the closest to being real.

Most women won’t even consider as a thought experiment….”what if I am attracted to those types of men”…despite having fell hard for those types a few times…and friend zoning or cheating on the good ones.      it’s like they can’t think outside of themselves.  It’s like they can’t admit that they are attracted to bad men.

 

I have no problems with admitting that physically,  I’m attracted to some strippers, but I know I shouldn’t date one seriously no matter how cool she seems.    Many women,  Instead, choose to bury their heads in the sand and continue choosing the same types….often having kids by one or two.   Then say men are no good.

I don’t care what you say, women’s egos are just as fragile, if not more so than men’s in that respect.   It’s like being wrong is an attack on her entire character.   That’s why many keep making the same mistakes over and over again.    I’ve met a few logical and intelligent women, but I haven’t come across too many if any self introspective ones.

I do know that  the energy must be one sided in my direction in order for the relationship to sustain itself.

I know it comes across as bitter vitriol, but it isn’t.  It is reality.  I accept it.  It just is what it is.   I’m not even mad at them for it.   How can I be mad at water for being wet?   Even if they can’t/won’t admit their issues.

Getting a woman isn’t the problem, keeping them is the problem.  I gotta stop worrying about how they feel.  I gotta learn to not give any fucks while only pretending to do so in order to fulfill my agenda.   Really, it’s on me to fix this about myself.

The question is how do I make this compromise without compromising my own truth.   It’s so foreign to me to not consider people’s feelings.  It all goes back to the question of what men won’t do for some pussy.  Maybe this is the order of the day.    Maybe Chad, Tyrone, Pookie, and Ray Ray are on to something.

 

 

 

Your Game is probably Trash

I’ve realized that I have weak game.   I’m idealistic, fair, and mostly principled, but the game I have is pretty freaking trash.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m me and I’m cool with myself.  I’m not horrible, but I do have a ways to go.    I realize that game is a skillset that you can learn.  While my ego is a bit bruised, I’m not broken up over it.   It is what it is, I just have to keep working on it.  It’s just another tool or skill to add to your belt of being a man.

I was listening to this dating coach and a few youtube personalities and it made me realize that it doesn’t matter how well intentioned you are….there is no substitution. The stories that they tell about the “happily” married women and girlfriends they mess with should give the most secure man pause.  Out of curiosity, I bought a program where one guy let you listen in to his phone conversations and see his text messages.  He’s a pretty good teacher and does a great job at articulating different aspects of what works, what doesn’t, and why.    He claims to have been a pickup artist for over a decade.    All I can say is WOW.   I got work to do, but at least I have a template into the structure of good conversation.   Well worth it IMHO.

Knowledge is power, the game is to be sold not told, and I don’t mind paying for something that gives me more knowledge.   The way I see it, the same way you’d pay a personal trainer or exercise program to help you train, there is nothing wrong with paying a few bucks to acquire knowledge from someone who has put in the work or has the talent to help you get results.

It would seem that women prefer a bad man with game over a good man without it.  It does beg the question of what is a ‘good’ man anyway.  Perhaps without it, I’m only fooling myself.   None of the females in my life are really into me like that.   I’m just a stand in and they probably all forget about me as soon as I leave the room.   My wife is on the fence, my lover is just having fun, and I met a new chick who is giving me hell right now.  I think I’m going to cut her.   Talk about playing hard to get, but yet she gives me just enough string to kind of hold on.   It’s probably for her own self gratification.   While our conversation is decent at best, it is a learning experience, but it’s not fun.  Maybe I’ll just hold on for the practice.   She’ll probably cut me first, but i gotta get over this aversion to pain in this arena.

While this realization hurts the ego, it is somewhat freeing in the sense that I also realize that I’m wasting too much emotional energy worrying about them.

The focus is on practice and filling out the holes in my knowledge.   I’m already fucked when it comes to them, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay that way for those in the future.   I have to quit investing.  Even though I got sex, I want more.   I don’t really want them like that, but it would be nice to be able to have them want me more.

All isn’t lost yet.   What works to my advantage is that they don’t know that I think this.   They probably don’t realize it themselves on a conscious level.   Most women don’t realize that their boyfriends have trash game.  At least, not until someone with good game gets in.   With game, picking these women off is like shooting fish in a barrel.   Fortunately, there are few men with good game, but there is enough for it to be a viable threat.  Especially if she goes out a lot.  I read a statistic that around 20% of the men get 80% of the women.   In real life, i’d say that’s off, at least from my personal experience, I’d say that about 10% of the guys I know do pretty decent.

It’s exactly why I’m against pursuing a woman’s heart.  Unless you already have  game, you’ll have to wear her down.  If you already had game like that, you wouldn’t be trying to figure out how to get it.   But even if you manage to wear her down, she’s still open to advances to guys with good game.    TBH, most women these days are morally compromised and if he can offer her an NSA encounter, she will very likely act upon it.

I don’t think that many men realize how powerful good game is.   Sorry dude, but your “good”  girl has no defense against it.  No matter how much you love, adore, cherish, treat her right, impress, sex her down, etc.     Until you master it, you always run the risk of someone with more game swooping in and taking her off your hands for a night or two.  Once that happens, game over for you.    She’ll fall out of love, lose respect, and there isn’t much you can do about it.   She won’t even feel too bad about it.  Even if she knows that she can’t have him per se, she’ll still realize that you don’t make her feel that way and will either feel ‘unhappy’  or be looking for that experience again.

I’ve been fortunate enough to see this in action.  I have also had the misfortune of having it happen to me.    I’ve heard the conversations from these guys.  They’re really good at what they do.  It’s scary, but I think that all men should be aware of it.  Noone is safe.  Even if a guy has decent game and manages to pull an attractive female, the guy with better game could pull her away and she’ll go.

This is the ugly side of nature, but I have to accept it.    It hurts, but it’s why I think it’s important to not get emotionally invested in women.   You truly have to see them as objects.   Not like inanimate objects, but more like wild animals.   As a good man, of course you want to have compassion.  They are under our domain.   But realize that they can’t really control their nature.  If you want to risk having a wild tiger living in your home, go for it, but realize that one day, it might try to eat you and you’ll be powerless to do anything about it.   Guard your heart man.

The first step is to know the nature of the game.   Then accept it.  Once you accept it, embrace it.   After that, understand it.   Then learn how to use it to your advantage.   It is a learning process and few of us have experience or knowledge on how to do so.   Thankfully, it’s an art and science, but like all subjects with this characteristic, you have to learn the science.  It’s a painful process, rejection hurts, but you gotta condition your ego to stop being so sensitive and your heart to stop loving so much.  Then you can add your own flair to it.   Another advantage is that most guys are too proud in this arena to admit that they could use some tweaking.

This isn’t easy for me either.  I’m still considering MGTOW monk.  I wonder if pussy and validation is really worth it.   Why in the hell do I even need it anyway?   I’m feeling anxiety just thinking about it right now.   Is it really worth the stress?

Regardless, I further overstand why men choose to be players.  A woman can  never love you on a real level.  She’s in love with the game.   It’s not fair, it’s not pretty, it goes against what we’ve been programmed to believe about women.  It goes against what they believe about themselves.   But you can’t argue the results.  Look at the number of single mothers out here.  I can see that many of them have kids by men who have many baby mothers already.

A man can be alpha in many aspects of life, but in the end, if his game isn’t up to par, he will also get left, cucked, or in a sexless relationship.   This is reality guys.   Women won’t admit it.  They either can’t, or just don’t know their own nature.  But again, you can’t argue with the results.