I always used to think that marriage is forever. I mean outside of infidelity and abuse, the issues that you and your spouse had was no grounds for divorce. It was like either be miserably married OR fix them. No giving up. None of that “we grew apart” stuff. Falling “out of love” isn’t enough.
Marriage was an oath, vow, or covenant of the highest order. Your “feelings” or “desire to quit” wasn’t enough to get out of it. Many many vows include the verse from 1 Corinthians 13:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
This meant to me that no matter how hard things, got, you don’t give up. You burned all of your boats behind you. You keep and have faith no matter what. God will see you through in the difficult times if you you follow and trust in Him. I thought that divorcing someone outside of infidelity or abuse made you a pretty terrible person. Especially if there were kids involved. Marriage is work and sometimes it is HARD. But you signed up for it….in front of God, your family, and friends. Like those vows were really meant to be abided by.
I honestly thought that everyone (well most people) thought like this.
It has become clearer to me that this is NOT the case.
If the statistics are true and 80% of divorces are filed by women, I find it quite ironic that so many of them are pressuring and pushing men into it. It’s said in many redpill spaces that women want to be married, but don’t want to be wives. You would think that it would be the men who motion to file more often. But it seems that men are way more willing to endure the pressure and at times, discomfort of being with a person forever.
It’s been said in the redpill community that women want to get married, but don’t want to be wives. In other words, they want the title, but not necessarily want what comes along with it.
Maybe the youtube/social media algorithms are just showing me one side of the story though. I rarely see actual divorce stories about husbands cheating/leaving, but if I actually search for it, who knows what I’ll turn up. And it could be that since I’m looking into those things, those things come up. In real life, I know a ton of married people who seem to have normal marriages. I’d say more are working than getting divorced. But people also don’t tend to share those types of problems with people they know in real life.
Based on my current knowledge and research though, it seems that a prevailing idea is that divorce is just another normal event. That it’s ok, almost expected to get divorced. That people “should” try to work on things, but they don’t really have to if it’s interfering with their path to personal happiness. That cheating or infidelity is kind of fucked up, but not REALLY that bad. That kids are better off in two seperate households than in 1 with an unhappy or unhappy parents. Perhaps this is modern marriage. It’s microwaved and disposable. It’s a participation trophy kind of deal. It’s casual and convenient.
I’m old school and again, my perception is that my personal happiness in marriage isn’t my primary concern or better yet, it’s my issue to make it right. In this case, if my wife isn’t happy, then yeah, she won’t be making my life happier so I need to get her the help or do what I need to do to make her happy. I have to make the best of this situation because I cannot leave it. I vowed on my word to my God, family, and friends to honor and protect those vows….in the best and worst of times. No matter how I felt about it.
But with so many people feeling this modern era about it…. Personally, I see no point. Why are we wasting money, time, and possibly bringing a family into this if you or me can just decide one day….”I’m done.” … “I’m unhappy.”…. “We grew apart”…. “The grass seems greener over there.” Why are pretending that this thing is going to be forever when we could just so easily walk away. Damned the collateral damage.
We spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding, thousands on a ring, then tens of thousands on a divorce. We break promises and vows. We split our families apart. For what, just so she can feel like a queen for a day, wear a over priced ring, and be the center of attention. It’s really fucking stupid and pointless if you ask me. It can be a beautiful thing…..if you are really willing to fight for it….but most people aren’t. It’s like wanting to be a soldier in the military just for all the praise you get, but when it’s actually time for war, you’re ready to desert at the first sign of danger.
And worst part is that noone calls assholes out for this behavior. In fact, i’ve seen tons of websites where women actually condone leaving simply because YOLO….. and saying stupid shit like “how can the kids be happy if the mother isn’t.” As if leaving and burning the house down is the only option. But usually it comes down to her wanting to try another guy or ride the cock courosel to see if she still got it.
I’m not going to change my mind about what I think marriage should be. But I need to make the space to accept this new way of thinking. I don’t respect it though. It makes it stupid, pointless, and I’ll leave it to simps, suckers, and cucks to figure out what’s going on here. The information is out there, so if any man really thinks this is a good idea these days, …. good luck my guy.