Gaming is a fight

Gaming is like a combat sport.   Many aspects are cerebral and can be practiced alone.  Weights, cardio, bag work, shadow boxing, and katas are things that can be done to improve different aspects of your fighting.   While all very important aspects of the martial arts, the thing that separates combat sports (boxing, kickboxing, mma) from most traditional martial arts (aikido, karate, tai chi, kung fu) is live sparring.

You can read all the game theory books in the world, watch all the videos on youtube, download all of the coaching manuals, but until you get out there and approach, you’re not really getting it.   As Mike Tyson famously quoted “everyone has a game plan until you get punched in the face.”

Gaming and cold approach is very similar.   I’ve done some boxing sparring and some  point taekwondo sparring.  The difference between boxing sparring and point sparring  is huge.   It’s different when someone is trying to hit you hard and those mistakes actually hurt vs the hits are expected to be light showcasing technique over power.   One is like getting punched with bad intentions where the other is like playing tag.    Boxers and combat sport players have the distinct advantage of being able to maintian their composure after being stunned because they’ve gotten used to it.

In a similar fashion, many players tell you that gaming/cold approach is absolute paramount if you want to get good quickly.    You have to go out there with a game plan, get hit in your face (rejected) or have an awkward interaction and continue to go with it.   It takes balls.    To have an interaction go south and maintaining composure without bailing or freaking out takes a bit of experience.

It’s not easy, but in the end worth it.   They say that roughly 20% of men are out here messing with 80% of the women.  This tells me that 80% of men are not out here sparring.    Obtaining this skills should make things like being a rooster in a hen house.

For me, and I suspect many guys, cold approach is about as nerve racking as public speaking.   It’s like your first few times sparring going all out.  All of that theory and technique goes out of the window as you go into survival mode.  You get tunnel vision, you telegraph your punches, you throw haymakers, you forget to keep your hands up,  you forget to breath.   You do whatever you gotta do to survive, but after enough times, your body adapts to the shock and you’re then able to begin to apply the techniques you’ve been learning about.  Then you’re ready to start learning.

There isn’t much of a buffer from the pain with cold approach.   Rejection stings, bottom line.   If you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re very likely going to get “punched, hard, in the face.”    But having a game plan is better than none.    You want to get to the point where your mind is used to being in the ‘fire’ so that you can begin to flow with the techniques.

To be honest, I’d say that hard sparring IS the number one thing to do.   An untrained person who just got into a lot of fights in life will probably do better against a boxer who trained but never/rarely sparred.

It’s a matter of resiliance and getting back out there.   From what I hear, most players don’t have a .500  record.   From my understanding it is a numbers game, but batting around .300 makes you pretty good.  Out of 20 approaches they say that beginners can expect to get about 4 numbers and maybe one of those should pan out into a date.   That’s about 5 dates to every 100 girls approached.   I think I can do better, but these are numbers I hear.  I have no idea how they meet so many women.   I don’t think I even see 100 women in a month.    Regardless, I have to stop being such a pussy, glove up, and hit the ring.

If even the greats tell you that they still get rejected sometimes, it’s safe to say that I should expect the same.    Of course a cocky, arrogant attitude can get you further and I suspect why it’s the reason so many players are cocky sobs.

I have to learn to look at cold approach like sparring.   All of the inner work and research is preparation, but I have to step into the ring and just do it….butterflies and all.

On another point, I realized that I have to always be leading the interaction in the beginning.   When I do approach, I have to pretty much have an outline of where and how I want the interaction to go.   I can’t leave it up her or chance to kind of see where it goes.  I should have a game plan in mind and at least attempt to stick to the script.

The game plan is as soon as I see her:

 

Power UP/ Energy Work

1)articulate what I want mentally, specifically (a short conversation, build small rapport and a little attraction and exchange contact info) …. 1st few seconds

2)expect a positive outcome (maintain confidence, she laughs or doesn’t run off, gives me her info, wants me to call/text)….. feel how it would feel to have achieved this….2nd few seconds

DO IT

3)approach (lead the interaction by keeping the energy of steps 1 and 2)…by the 10TH second.

4)Follow up the next day or two and go from there.

Sounds so basic….until I get punched in the face.  I’m ready though.

 

 

 

 

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Being a player is a must

It’s no mystery that women are complicated.   I’m learning game in theory and some of the stuff works, but results are mixed.  What works for some doesn’t work for others and that’s not surprising.   The thing is that there are tons of potential land mines that can cause her to lose interest at any given moment.

I’ve noticed that you have to have an edge and you can’t want a relationship.   You can’t give off the boyfriend vibe and you have to have it set up where you she knows you can walk away at any time.   You have to keep her chasing.   You must do messed up things to her sometimes like flake or get caught in a lie.  You have to be talking to two or 3 at minimum at all times.  This is not optional.   Having one girl is setting yourself up to have none.  She can almost sense it if you don’t.

You have to limit your your contact with her.   No matter how bad she wants the attention.   You have to be a player or at least have her think that you could be one.

There is a double standard here.  Most guys won’t lose attraction for a woman based on the idea that she isn’t a ho.  In fact, we really like ‘good’ girls.  We’d prefer her to not display the characteristics of a female player.   We actually like it when we believe she’s a good girl.   I don’t understand why so many women want to be called ‘bad bitches’.  Being a good girl doesn’t guarantee that the guy won’t cheat, but it isn’t a cause of him losing attraction either.

There is a dark side to women’s nature when it comes to attraction.   Being good is unattractive to them.    This is why nice guys finish last.   Treating her the way you’d like to be treated just doesn’t work if you want to attract and keep her.     Genuinely good guys are losing out here when it comes to women.   The rule of thumb is to sin now and ask for forgiveness later.

Good men have a problem with this.  It’s why there is so much frustration out here.   It’s why the MGTOW movement is growing exponentially.    Good men cannot be themselves and must take on the characteristics of a narcissist.   We cannot care about her for anything other than sex and compliance.   Bottom line.  We have to learn to walk the balance between acting like an asshole and actually being an asshole.   The latter being preferable.   You act nice, you act like you care, but the hard part is actually not caring.  This is where the narc has the advantage and are so successful with women.

Charming, confident, and sexy behavior is a must.   But you genuinely have to be emotionally disconnected from her.    I have to learn to shut off the part of me that wants to care.   I’m not saying that I should not care, but just be like, I could take it or leave it.

Put more simply, it’s better to say that you love her and not mean it than to say it and actually mean it.   As messed up as that sounds, it’s the only way.   You genuinely cannot care about her feelings, but you have to pretend that you do or potentially could.   We have to learn from the narcs and either play that game or prepare to be alone, frustrated, and cucked.    Being a player is a must.

The bottom line is that you cannot be in love a woman.    You can like her sure.   She may say / act like she wants love, but the reality is that truly loving a woman is a turn off for them.    Falling in love with  her is a curse, it’s a cosmic joke.   She will lose attraction because of that love.    Show love, but never be in love.

For us, love is an action, not a feeling.    Love is a habit, not an emotion.   That feeling or emotion is something else, it’s limerance.  It is insidious.  It’s an unhealthy attachment or addiction.    Keep your nose clean gentlemen.

You can want her, but falling in love implies that you need her.  Once she senses that, you’re done.   She might stay with you for a while, but trust and believe you will begin to exhibit certain characteristics that will ultimately turn her off.   It’s better to keep her attracted than to give her that sense of stability as if you can’t walk away.   Regardless of what she tells you.  It’s not what she really wants nor need.

The ideal scenario is that she is in love with you, but you control her.   They cannot admit it, but it’s what they really prefer.  Here is the cold truth.   She has to work for your validation or she will lose interest and not even know why.

Here is why:     She loses interest because she loses attraction.   She loses attraction because you start smothering her.   You start smothering her because you didn’t want to lose her.   You didn’t want to lose her because you were in love with her.   You got attached.

The way you stop that attachment is to have several on your team.   It’s a must.   Keeping her should ideally never be a priority.  Never invest more than you’re willing to lose be it time, energy, emotions or resources.   Look at a woman like a recreation or hobby.   Falling in love is more like an addiction.  It’s an unhealthy attachment.

This makes marriage untenable for most good men.   We end up loving our home and family.   We desperately cling to try and keep it.   We fear losing it.   We don’t want to hurt the kids.   Modern selfish women cannot see that and lose attraction since they think it’s about them specifically.    They begin to feel trapped and ‘unfulfilled’.  Regardless of what you do for them.   If she feels you love the family more, she still feels that you love her more as well.   Thus the attraction level plummets.   Some might stay for the kids sake, but the sex will fall off.   Many will cheat and increasingly will simply leave.

Cheating might help, but then again, that could also blow up in your face depending on the woman.    At the end of the day, it’s too risky.   She will change for the worse and now not only will you be hurt, your kids might be as well.    It’s best not to give a kid a home than to give them one and take it away because she lost attraction and respect for you.

Stay frosty man.

 

It’s on me now

After fully ingesting the red pill and understanding the nature of the modern woman, I’ve come to the conclusion that there really is no longer a reason to complain.   It is what it is.   The question is, where do I go from here?  MGTOW seems viable.  I’m not ready for monk mode, I still enjoy sex and whatever that feeling of temporary satisfaction I feel when I have sex with a woman.

The best solution is to have multiple women on the side.   Not saying that it’s easy, but in reality, I have to put in the work to make that happen.   It’s too risky to be out here enjoying sex with just one woman.   It’s too easy to get attached, jealous, and worry about what she’s doing on the side.    I’m needy, I dont’ like sharing, but in the end, this is what life has come to.   Commitment doesn’t work.   She’s only committed until she isn’t and most likely won’t let you know when she’s no longer feeling it.

Any thoughts for raising a traditional family must die.  I think that part hurts the worst, but I’ve been sold a bill of goods my whole life.  I gotta get past that programming.  She literally can’t choose to love.   There is only attraction.

She isn’t the enemy.   It’s just her nature.   I can’t be angry no more than I could be angry at a wild tiger for attacking me if were to try to keep it as a pet.   She just doesn’t get it.  She could never love me the way I would love her.    In real life, she probably isn’t capable.   What’s love to them, but the chemicals and emotions I could make her feel. Attraction and feeding her delusions.     This is all it is.   I just have to learn to control those for my advantage and try not to hurt her in the process.

I’m cool with it all.  I don’t know why I have this desire to just want my person and be done with this dating and information.   She is just a fantasy.   No more real than the easter bunny or santa.   The point is to enjoy her for the moment, not get attached, nor bitter that I can’t be attached.   Even if she can’t understand why.  She doesn’t know her own nature.    Who’s at fault isn’t the question for me.   I don’t need to know the why as maybe it is designed to be that way.

Love isn’t dead.  It just wasn’t what I thought it was.

 

 

 

It’s the drugs man

Falling in love is one of the most dangerous things you can do with your life.   You literally get addicted to a person and the withdrawals can be brutal.    Many people alleviate the pain by jumping from one relationship to the next.   There is generally an overlap and in that period you’re cheating.   Serial monogamists are notorious for this.   Because the dating market is easy for decent women, they are at a distinct advantage in this arena.

As a man, it is mandatory that you learn game and have several options available at all times.    It really is dangerous to have all of your eggs in one basket.   This weekend, i realized that I might be in danger of falling ‘in love’ with my lover.   This is a scary prospect.   I suppose it might be impossible to just have sex with someone for so long and not develop feelings.

It’s an odd feeling to know that I don’t really love her like that, but I’m starting to feel a bit possessive.   NSA my ass.   FWB is some bullshit.   On one hand, it is easy to have situationships that aren’t clearly defined.   On the other, once the attachment sets in, it’s hard to just let it go.

I gotta do better.  I know better.   I understand that it’s chemicals.   I know that my body and hers are bonded during this ‘honeymoon’ period.   Yet and still, I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be for me to let it go.    I see how people can get stuck in dysfunctional relationships.   I see how sex can indeed be dangerous.    Given that women have a shit ton of options these days and the fact that they can be fickle, it’s clearly not in a man’s best interest to be bonding with these women unless I have a gameplan.   That’s the downside to consistent NSA sex.

I suppose it is like knowing that meth is addictive and choosing to take it anyway.  As if knowledge of addiction can somehow stop you from getting addicted.    How stupid is am I?

I’m kind of afraid of falling for her.  I know we wouldn’t be great together.   As a friend, she’s cool, but as a girlfriend or something, it would probably be fucked up.   We really only connect sexually.   I like it like that.   But i don’t want the chemical bond we have to fuck me up mentally.   I know that as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, we’ll probably both look back and say “what the fuck was I thinking?”  She is a party girl.   Definitely not wifey material for me even though she ultimately wants to be married to someone some day.

I’m pretty sure she’s not upfront about her sexual past and I’m guessing that she’s probably had a few one nighters.   Maybe I have to fall back for a few.   It’s getting intense.  I can see the storm on the horizon.