A case for the ‘beta’ male

Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot memes about alpha and beta’s when it comes to personality types.   In essence, alphas are good, betas are bad.   The theory is that woman are naturally attracted alpha males while will either use or be repulsed by beta males.

Alpha males it seems have certain characteristics that women find irresitable.   They project strength, certainty, confidence, charisma, and are comfortable in all situations.   They may seem brutish, but are protectors.  They are leaders and don’t follow the rules.  They take control of the situation and handle their business.  They don’t care what others think about them.  They are imposing and dominant in social situations.

Betas on the other hand are seen as weak and pathetic.  They are nice, but the niceness is really a survival strategy because they fear confrontation.   They are followers.  They seek to please others.    They will fold or run under pressure so they aren’t really great protectors.   They are weak physically and mentally.    They whine and don’t take responsibility for their lives.

The above definitions give you a basic understanding what’s implied by the two types, i don’t really subscribe to the theory.   I do think that it’s a lot more complicated.  I think the debate of alpha vs. beta  often implies extroverts vs introverts.

Society as a whole takes this way too far.  I don’t like the term alpha and beta because it implies superiority of one personality type over another.

I mean there are guys who are so called ‘betas’ that could probably kick the average ‘alpha’s’ ass in a fight if it came down to it.   Many men think that being boorish and imposing makes a man an alpha.

As usual, many women are caught up in the hype.  But let me make a case for the ‘beta’ types.

I’ve seen some pretty humble/quiet men who could definitely take out a lot of the so called loud mouthed alphas in a fight.   Anderson Silva for instance.  While reserved and quiet and not imposing at all….he’s a beast in the octagon.   Others include Manny Pacquaio and one of my favorite boxers Vasyl Lomachenko.

While many ‘alpha’ types like Connor McGregor and Adrien Broner can back up their talk and are entertaining to say the least.    Their issues come with huge egos which aren’t great for relationships or stable families.

Many of the loudest, flashiest, and ‘alpha’ types I know of are really pussies in real life.   They talk the talk, but won’t walk it.   These are the types that talk all that rah rah, but won’t do anything.    They are ones who snitch after talking about how real they are.  Ever notice how the ‘shooters’ don’t really say much.   Killers are the quiet ones.   The most serious and dangerous people, when it comes to the game are the real ones.   Notice how you often hear the most popular rappers talk about the ‘goons’ and ‘shooters’ they have on the squad.   Often if you meet these people in real life, they don’t have much to say and aren’t clamoring to be the life of the party.

While not the most exciting people in the world, the beta type is often more reliable and family oriented.    They are loyal to a fault often times.   They get the job done, sit back and don’t wait on acknowledgement.   These are the guys you want on your team.  They are also the guys you don’t want to piss off because they’ll fuck you up without saying too much in advanced.   Often times, you’ll have had to coming to you.

As far as dating, there is a difference between good men and nice guys.   Nice guys do things because they expect something in return.   In reality alpha creeps do the same thing.   They are just more upfront with it.    While often confused with beta’s, nice guys aren’t really the same thing.    Good guy betas often do things because they want to, nice guy betas do things because they want the person to ‘owe’ them something.   I could see how there could be confusion as nice guy betas often employ similar strategies as good guy betas.  But there is a difference.  One way you can tell though is that good guys will not just tell you what you want to hear.   It might sting, but it’s delivered in a way to not hurt your feelings, but more as a suggestion.

Nice guys will pretty much agree with everything and not really check you on your bad behavior.   Or they’ll say it in a way to ‘bring you down’ so to speak as a manipulation tactic.

As mentioned earlier, beta types want to take care of their mates.  They aren’t out there looking for several women at a time.  They are family oriented and tend to want to make sure that their family is good.  They enjoy spending quality time with their kids and wife.   They may come across as clingy, but often times it’s due to either having their trust abused in the past or knowing how the game works.

I’d be considered a beta, but I know how game works.   I know it when I see it and many times I’ve debated with myself for ‘snitching’ on a guy who was running game on my girl.   Usually it falls on deaf ears anyway and I was usually always right, but what’s a guy to do?   They always come back.   But loyalty is a big to me and once trust is broken it’s hard to get it back because I bring that to the table and I do expect that back.

Beta males generally don’t like drama.   They are usually peacemakers and are quite diplomatic in their approach.    Equity and fairness are characterstics that also follow them.   While they might not follow the code of society, they usually follow some code of ethics such as the code of the streets.

They usually aren’t flattering, charming, or have the most swag,  but I’m convinced that the personality type of the beta doesn’t make them in any way weaker or inferior to their more flamboyant alpha brothers.

Perhaps the only area is in attracting and keeping women.   But that says more about the society we live in more than the guys themselves.

One would think that a woman would cherish a beta type guy as he’d pretty much deal with her shit if she’s loyal.  He would want to help her be a better person.   You would think that it would be easier to change his weaknesses than it would be change the player into a husband.   Unfortunately, that’s too much like right.

Meanwhile….I guess in order to get laid, I am alpha enough to get attention.   It works because I’m just enough of both to get attention and keep it for a little while.    I do know that even with my knowledge, it’s easy for me to revert back into beta if I fall in love.  The best thing for now is to stay emotionally unattached, use my strengths, do what I do, but never fall in love as she’ll probably end up cheating or leaving me for not bringing that ‘alpha’ drama in to her life.

Lessons learned.








4 thoughts on “A case for the ‘beta’ male

  1. I used to feel sorry for beta males. Now, I only feel disdain for them. Some men have always been alpha males, though the term has not had widespread usage, until lately. In middle age, I believe I know just what diferentiates the alpha male from the beta male. I have never sexually desired a woman who didn’t at least have a reasonably sexy pear shape. I am polite to people, I am civil, I treat everyone with respect. But if a woman has no hint of a figure 8 shape, cottage cheeze hips, and cellulite, I am not going to lie to her and tell her she’s sexy. To me, such a woman registers zero sex appeal. On the other hand, a beta male might tell such a woman, she is some type of sex fantasy goddess. All my life, I have never wanted for being noticed by women. Whenever I have pursued a woman, she has already demonstrated to me that she finds me attarctive. Either thru outright flirting, sneaky glances, or flirtatious smiles. Maybe beta males have never had the experience of being desired by an attarctive woman, who was a total stranger. If I ever pursued a woman for sex and she didn’t find me physically attractive, and a man knows; then I would stop pursuing. A bete male will pursue a woman who doesn’t find him attractive, defer to her, degrade himself, and try to buy her affection. He doesn’t realize that no matter how much he spends to buy her time, she still doesn’t find him sexually attractive. And he can spend his life purchasing her time, he can marry her. But she’s always on the lookout for that male who turns her own. I know there’s more to life than sex. But sex is mixed in with most aspects of life. And an alpha man never puts a woman before himself. He is civilized, he respects all people. But he holds women fully accountable for their behavior, just like he does all people. Unlike the beta male who defers to women and excuses their bad behavior, even attacking his own gender to win favor with women. The alpha male has very few female problems in life, because he learns early on, the differences between the ying and the yang. On the other hand, the beta male has female problems his entire life. Finally, the beta male has validted an entire paradigm of female dishonetsy and bad behavior. He has taught legions of par and sub par women, that their sexual market value is higher than what it really is. He has sought to codify an entire set of behaviors to be imposed on all males. A set of behaviors that have no basis in civilization or the natural world. Their only basis is his weak, thirsty, beta mind.


    • Appreciate the comment. I think there are two sides to the story and depending on the angle you take, you’ll either disdain or pity the beta male. First, just to clarify, I don’t really like the term alpha or beta male. I use them for simplicity. A ladies man doesn’t necessarily equate to being an alpha male in my opinion. I try to measure a man based off the values he demonstrates. Values like honesty, principled, couragous, loyalty, don’t necessarily translate into being great with women. Who would you rather be on the battlefield with? a cowardly, narcisisstic ladies man (not saying that all are)….or a courageous, loyal, honorable simp (with the ladies). Apply the same line of reasoning with a mechanic, pilot, cop…whatever. That said, I simply imply alpha and beta to men who are either successful with women or not.

      I do agree however that men (regardless of their other attributes) who are bad with women contribute to the inflated smv of these women out here. You could argue that some ladies men do this as well by saying whatever it takes to get into the panties. The only real difference is that they have managed to crack the code or are attractive. Even in that case, there is still a lot of gray area. Let’s say that there is a guy that has a 4 smv. Perhaps in his own mind, he knows he’s a 4, but since he believes that the 4 or 5 is the best he can do, in his eyes, she is a 10. She is his 10 so to speak. Now you have the guys on her smv level and guys above who may be ladies men telling her what she wants to hear so they can get laid. Her personal opinion of herself has just increased.

      I consider myself about a 7. I don’t even care to go for instagram 10’s because I know that even if I managed to pull her (and she happened to have a dope personality), the competition is too stiff and I know women’s nature. I prefer 6, 7’s, or 8’s. But to me, if she has a good personality, she’s my 10. An ‘alpha’ male may think that I’m contributing to the problem when I’m simply staying in my lane. The problem isn’t that the guy who is a 9 or 10 smv leaves his lane and has her thinking she has a higher smv because he simply wants to screw her. It’s her believing it.

      It’s an issue to me because I wouldn’t do that to another man because I know how hurtful it is. I should shake his hand because he’s shown me she isn’t loyal. It still feels disrespectful because I wouldn’t knowingly do it to to a less attractive man. But that’s my personal issue.

      The point of the post is that beta game can work temporarily. Betas fuck all the time, they just get cheated on, used, or left because they don’t understand the hypergamous nature of women. They get hurt because they don’t understand it and so get too attached. I do also get your point that betas just don’t know when to quit or how to read the queues. Perhaps it’s a self inflicted wound, but it’s generally out of ignorance I believe.

      Do you think that ‘alpha’ males who cheat with women with ‘beta’ husbands or boyfriends also contribute to the problem? Doesn’t that, in a way reward their ‘bad behavior’? Just because a man isn’t great with the ladies (otherwise a stand up / family guy) and has to work a bit harder, does provide for her and possibly her family, should he be punished/humiliated because she was more attracted to the more ‘alpha’ guy?

      I’d argue that ‘alpha’ men who knowingly cheat with married/attached woman contribute to the problem as much, if not more. Many will excuse her bad behavior just to get the pussy.


      • Here’s the thing. I’ve been what you refer to as an alpha male, all my life. I was very athletic when I was younger, have always been considered good looking. But I also have a cerebral side. What we are calling alpha and beta is more about the particular male’s mentality, than anything. A man can be a physical beast, and still be beta. You often hear the ‘alpha male’ sites talk about not being afraid to lose an opportunity to have sex with a woman of high smv. What this means is that a true alpha man is so comfortable in his own skin, that he will not demean himself nor violate his own standards, in order to get with a woman of high smv. Now, if you are an alpha, you know this was not your first opportunity to be with a woman of this smv, nor will it be your last. Hence, the confidence. One other thing I alluded to in my post. Ever since my late teens, I have always had the experience that sometimes very attractive women would give me the double take. I’m not saying they all do, but I’ve had it enough, that I have no insecurity about whether I can attract desirable women. I honestly believe that most beta men have not had this experience in life. Now, you can be a very unattractive man, and still be alpha. But the point I’m making is that there is a self esteem component to being alpha or beta. Overall betas do a lot of harm. Betas tend to have problems with women their entire lives. But more importantly, they create a lot of the toxicity, in the universe of male female interchange, that all men must navigate.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I get it. Congrats to you. If a kid was born in a wealthy family and never had want for anything, he might not be able to understand the struggle of those born and surrounded by poverty. Not to say that the wealthy kid didn’t /doesn’t have his own struggles, but he might not be able to relate to the struggle of those born less fortunate than him.

        He might not understand what it felt like to be rediculed because his family couldn’t afford name brand shoes or new clothes. He might then grow up wondering why poor people have such an obsession with ‘material’ things they really couldn’t afford. He might have contempt for them because he didn’t have their same experience. I get it, how could he know the struggle or why they act they do if he never experienced it for himself.

        You’re not wrong. But very high self esteem isn’t something that you can just decide one minute to have and you’re suddenly alpha….or else we’d all be alphas.


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