Why Moden Marriage is a Bad Joke

I always thought that marriage was an important institution necessary to establish and maintain communities by providing stable environments/homes for children.

Sexual fidelity (unless agreed upon by both parties) as well as open and honest communication is a necessary part of making it work.

It is work maintaining a household responsibly. Happiness….though ideal, isn’t the primary goal of marriage.

Yet in today’s society, it seems that people seem to believe that it is.

There are at least two conflicting schools of thought when it comes to marriage.

1. We can’t get divorced. (unless there are extremely serious issues…..like repeated infidelity or abuse)…..

And

2. We can and should get divorced if we are unhappy or grow apart.

I personally believe in the former…..but im starting to see that many, if not most people believe in the latter.

If 2nd position is the lens by which we view this…..then to me….marriage is pretty much pointless.

It’s just an expensive and meaningless ceremony sanctioned by the state that keeps lawyers pockets lined with money from family court hearings and divorce proceedings.

The vows taken …. (for better or for worse or till death do u part)….is simply an empty promise made during an emotional high. Those words really mean nothing.

And in a society where personal happiness and obligation isn’t always (most times not) mutually exclusive….and the former is the “law of the land” so to speak….. it’s really all pointless.

Not to say that marriage has to be terrible…..but often times….over time….the level of satisfaction with a single person does decline a bit.

People who have a lot of options tend to view what they dont have as favorable. And it very often leads to an elevated sense of dissatisfaction…..leading to a sense of unhappiness….which affects the lens by which they view their marriage.

This gives rise to all kinds of fuckery….including infidelity, falling in love with someone else, selfishness, or justification for being an asshole to their spouse.

Too many people feel like they are special snowflakes who deserve the most optimal level of comfort and convenience without having to put in any work.

They ask, what is the relationship doing for me vs what am I doing for the relationship. Self first and family second….and they come up with all sorts of justifications to enable these beliefs while never admitting that fact.

I’m not bucking against this trend.

People can do whatever the hell they want. I find the self serving pov of marriage as pointless and a waste of time though.

If we should just destroy the nuclear family because we want to try something new since sacrifice and obligation makes us unhappy then there really is no point.

Why put yourself through the drama, pain, and inconvenience of divorce when you already have the notion that it is an option.

It’s stupid. And on top of that….if you subscribe to the former definition of marriage….where we gotta do whatever we gotta do to make this thing work bcuz our kids, family, and community depends on us…and the other person doesn’t…..

You’re forced to make the tough choice of either staying with someone….who at the very least isn’t willing to treat u fairly…..doesn’t want to be there and has no problem with accepting the benefits without the accountability or violating the vows.

Often times, they will resent you for it. Will constantly cheat and treat you like dirt. Their self imposed misery will transfer onto you and you end up miserable as well.

Now you’re torn between obligation and ironically “happiness”….. by defacto, you become a hypocrite by wanting to give up.

As a man, you’re seen by society as a cuck or a beta simp…..

And added insult to injury….there is a legitimate case to made that there is something wrong with holding someone in a relationship that they don’t want to be in.

A double minded man in unstable in all his ways….

After being unstable for so long….I feel that im starting to lose it. I’ve already taken the low road insofar as having an affair myself in order to alleviate the pain associated with this…..as well as try to emotionally detach myself from my wife.

I know this is wrong on a certain level….but even if this “justification” is indeed just “an excuse “… i accept the badge of hypocrite without excuse nor apology.

Marriage just ain’t worth it and I’d like to seriously warn anyone considering it to think 2, 3, 4 times about it.

There is no honor is staying nor in leaving…..just pain and suffering.

To be clear, I’m not asking for sympathy nor feel that I deserve it….I’m just warning you