After briefly getting back into the dating scene, I discovered to my dismay that numbers do indeed lie. It’s been estimated that there are up to 80,000 more single women than men in the Metro Atlanta area. At first glance many single men would look at that number and start licking their lips like ll cool J at an awards ceremony. There is a but and a big one at that….in fact there are quite a few.
That number should be caveated with a few stars.
Here are the top 10 problems I have with African American women in the A.
1. They don’t know what they really want
On one hand so many women claim to want a ‘good man’. Unfortunately, the actions that causes a man to be ‘good’ also makes him boring. This guy works hard, doesn’t have much time to hang out and run the streets because he’s busy working, spending time with his kids, and there is any time left over giving back to the community or pursuing his personal hobbies. There isn’t much ‘edge’ to a soccer dad. Often time, these men don’t feel the need to fabricate drama because he already has enough on his plate. I’ve noticed over and over that if the guy isn’t cheating on his wife, then she’s probably cheating on him. The guy she is often cheating with is a street dude who just can’t seem to quite get it together.
These women often start the married life and discover that marriage isn’t the drama they’re used to seeing either in their past or on reality t.v. This leads them to crave the attention that these thirsty dudes will give them. With women’s liberation and shows like Love and Hip Hop and Insecure showcasing that it’s ok to be thotting out here, many would forego the drudgery of the married life and prefer to be a single mother….that is until they see what it is an miss the stability. In short, many suffer from a perpetual ‘grass is greener’ syndrome and unfortunately aren’t self reflective enough to see it for what it is. The me first attitude many have will have them ‘follow their hearts’ at the expense of their families and kids. Many don’t realize that following their hearts really means they are following their hormones.
Sadly, i’ve seen too many women walk out on their families and break their kid’s home because they simply got ‘bored’.
We live in an era where television and social media makes keeping up the Jones’ a damn near impossible task. While desiring nice things in and of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it becomes problematic when those ‘nice’ luxury items become a source of internal validation.
Instead of buying an affordable car and buying affordable clothes in order to save for the future, many want the big house, nice car, and expensive vacations ASAP. They want to show their frenemies how successful they are. Their men suddenly become accessories to that. They want the tall, funny, rich, handsome, and successful guy. Anything less is considered settling and while they might ‘settle’ for a while, as soon as this guy comes along paying them with with validation and promises, they’re willing to leave their families behind to get what they ‘deserve’.
If not, they hold it against their husbands who, may not be perfect, but is willing to work, build with them, and help out with the kids. Out of resentment for what they lack, they focus on the bad, and begin to devalue their men.
They are so arrogant as to think that when Mr. Perfect with everything going for him comes along, that somehow, their generic selves will be enough to sway him into choosing her only. Yeah, he might smash, but dudes with a lot of options like that probably isn’t settling down anytime soon. Besides he probably knows the game and knows that women with husbands or boyfriends cheat all the time anyway. How can a player who has screwed a lot men’s wives and girlfriends ever really trust a woman. Especially if he knows you were/ are attached?
3)They like to be mistreated
The way to short circuit their view of their imperfections is to treat them bad. For some reason, most women will overlook a shit load of flaws if you treat them like crap. It almost seems like the worse you treat them, the more they love you and less likely they’ll cheat. I’m not saying to go out and beat them and steal from them, but my observation is that the guys who cheat and talk down to their women don’t get cheated on or left. If she does leave, she still ‘loves’ him enough that she’d be willing to come back if he ‘changes’ his ways. Often they can be strung on for a long time with just the promise to change.
It seems like all you have to do is show interest and provide validation and promises. Once you do that, they’re hooked and once you do that commence with the asshole behavior. Just mix it up just enough to be ‘nice’ sometimes. A few tears about how people don’t get you every once in a while doesn’t hurt either.
4. They are boring as hell
Most women don’t really have any real hobbies. Pretty much all of them say that they like traveling or cooking, but many don’t have any passport stamps or spend very little time in the kitchen. If married, they expect their husbands to provide all of the entertainment (on top of all the other things they expect). Fail to provide any one of those things, then you can expect that your sweet wife will quickly fall in love with that old facebook friend or co worker who promises to provide them with all of the stuff they ‘deserve’.
Taking responsibility for anything outside of their careers seem like a foreign concept to them. Many hate the outdoors because they don’t want to get their hair wet. Or feel too good to go out and get dirty. Things must seem luxurious in order for them to get a sense of satisfaction. If it ain’t ‘Gram’ worthy then it isn’t worth doing.
Instead of taking responsibility for finding happiness for themselves, they just complain of a general sense of unhappiness. Maintaining a black woman for a long time is a LOT of work and full of land mines. They feel that it’s your responsibility to make them happy. They want fun and laughter, but aren’t fun or funny themselves.
They are hooked to their cell phones and social media. You can’t even have a decent conversation or just sit down, vibe and enjoy the moment without them constantly on their phones. It’s almost like you’re competing with iPhone for their attention and it gets super annoying.
Many black women are selfish and entitled. They cannot seem to get over themselves. They can’t seem to get the concept of loyalty. Commitment is optional and is only based on if you can make them feel good. She’s always searching for the next best thing and you best believe if someone comes along giving more validation and feel good feelings, she’s out in the parking lot with his cock in her mouth with you on speaker phone telling you she’s out getting groceries. Her “heart” (hormones) drive her actions. She feels justified because she “deserves” to be treated a queen and have what she wants regardless of what she does.
While most women will hit you with the spiel that they are good women, they are at best Amoral. This simply means that she will become that lying, cheating, disrespectful bitch she talks shit about on TV and not feel a damn thing is wrong with her doing it. She’s like a die hard trump supporter/Obama hater. She criticizes immoral behavior in others but perpetuates it with no guilt if she does the same thing. She cannot see her own hypocrisy. As long as things go her way, she stands on her convictions, but as soon as the guy who says the right things come along, Ms. Jesus is my everything is taking it up ass in the church parking lot because he makes her feel good.
7. Lack self reflection
Their self esteem is so fragile that any perceived threat to their “greatness” is an immediate turn off. They cannot seem to accept the fact that imperfections don’t define who they are as people. When confronted with the truth or any form of criticism, no matter how tactfully delivered, they immediately react by either shutting down or getting angry. They cannot stand to look at themselves in a mirror and fix or work on their flaws. Instead, they’d prefer to cover these flaws with makeup and pretend they don’t exist. You must handle them with kiddie gloves because their egos can’t take anything less than them being perfect.
They don’t look at actions as means to measure reality. Just feelings and words. In other words, if they “feel” something is true, then it must be so.
Thirsty dudes will say anything to get into a woman’s panties. They know this, but in spite of that, they walk around with a huge ego thinking that they’re God’s gift to man. On a conscious level, they would never admit it, but deep down, they somehow feel deserving of Mr. Perfect no matter what they actually bring to the table. Anything less is settling. They think that their looks alone is enough to warrant that. If she has a great job or career, then it’s pretty much guaranteed that she thinks she’s too good for you if she makes more money.
Here in Atlanta, you have these women all gassed up by simps and players alike. There are too many 5’s and 6’s thinking that they are 9’s and 10’s. Just because a guy wants to get in your panties doesn’t mean that he actually wants to be with you. For most men, it’s just a numbers game to see if she’s willing to give it up.
Deep down they know that they aren’t all that. It’s why they constantly crave and seek validation so desperately. But lack of self reflection prevents them from realizing this.
Most don’t have a real personality, and are truly generic. They want to ‘fit in’ so badly that they conform to whatever the flavor of the month is. Strangely enough, they feel that they are somehow unique even though they like, respond to, and act pretty much the same.
Ask any female what she likes and I guarantee you that Traveling is the first on the list. Looking through online dating sites will pretty verify that. Damn near every one reads alike.
10. Hypergamy Rules
With great careers and an endless supply of simps willing to wife or pretend they want to wife them, women now live in a perpetual state of grass is greener. She may settle somewhere for a while, but when the going gets tough, it’s ALL on the man to be able to supply them with the hormonal rush of new love. Even after it gets old. Many are boring as ish anyway so don’t mind raising kids alone. Besides, Mr. Next best thing is right around the corner. Today’s women don’t understand the concept of loyalty and are only as loyal as they can be while it’s easy and they are “feeling it.”
Sure, you can attract a woman for a short time. She could even fall in love. But most are not interested in standing in love. Most don’t understand the concept and would prefer to be powerless to her emotions. Sadly it doesn’t work that way, especially in marriage.
Today, they have their own careers, the courts are stacked in their favor. They are told to “follow their hearts” (regardless of who gets hurt in the process) They don’t have to choose love. True love is a choice. True love is honoring your commitment even when it doesn’t feel right.
Unfortunately, being a single mother is a badge of honor in today’s society and because they are following the lower hypergamous nature of choosing a mate for either resources or genetic variation, most of them would prefer to follow their animal instincts. Their independence and abundance of thirsty and immoral men makes this all too easy.
It really all comes down to not knowing how to really love someone. The irony here is that while most claim to want true love, most are uncapable of and become dissatisfied with showing it to someone who truly loves them back.