No off switch

Who the hell wants to fall into addiction.   Sure, the first few months are magical.   Being high makes you feel like you can conquer the world.   Music sounds better.  Times are fun and great.  You have a mental sharpness unlike anything you’ve ever known.   You’re a better person on that drug and you feel great about it.   Yeah, you might lose money, sleep, and time, but what does it matter.   The sacrifice is worth it.

Only it isn’t.   Once you become dependent on the drug, you’re no longer using it to feel good.  You’re using it to feel normal.   Without it, you feel bad.   Often you require more and more of it in order to feel normal.  Your money, time, and resources are spent to procure it.   Your work, relationships, and life suffers.   You are obsessed with getting it.

Sounds a lot like falling in love.   It’s about like addiction.   I have no idea why people want to play around like that and put themselves in the position to be dependent on someone else for their happiness.   People can say that their independent all they want, but I guarantee that if the person you’re “in love” with screws around on you or wants to break up, you’ll be crushed.   The deeper in love, the harder it is to get over it.   Why do people crave this.    The lows are lower than the highs.   There is no off button to falling out of love on your own.  There’s no magic switch that you can flip to stop loving that cheater, asshole, liar.  No matter what they do.

I’m trying to get off cold turkey.   This is so hard and I feel so stupid for loving someone who not only doesn’t love me, but humiliated me.   Once I’m over it….I’m over it.       Lesson learned.  Say NO to drugs and infatuation.


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