I am trying to understand why so many women think that they are worth marrying. I mean sincerely.

It’s like, to me anyway, loyalty is the most important virtue I could think of when I look for a wife. Not conditional loyalty, but not necessarily blind loyalty either. It does however err on the side of blind loyalty.

Conditional loyalty seems that they are only ‘loyal’ when it benefits them. It seems that many will not just throw you under the bus to save themselves, but will also throw you under the bus if they think it can give them an advantage.

Hence, the idea of hypergamy. Hence why grass is greener syndrome is a real thing. This is where I believe that greed, selfishness, and entitlement comes into play. If they believe that they can get a “bigger, better deal” elsewhere, they will abandon their vows or word to you in order to get it. They justify it by saying (and probably actually feeling) that they “deserve” the best of the best. Even if that means throwing her man / and family under the bus in order to get the chance of getting it.

Because this is dishonorable and disgraceful (and many know it on a subconscious level), in order to justify it, they have to reconcile it by telling themselves that they are “miserable” or “unhappy”. Or that they “deserve” better. To make this work, they have to change their perspective of the man by highlighting his weakness, down playing his strengths. Often time this comes in the form of exaggerating how “bad” he is. While minimizing or overlooking his good qualities. They make themselves unhappy by focusing on the 20% they don’t have while not appreciating the 80% they do have.

If persisted in, this cognitive dissonance causes her to justify her destructive behavior and she does not feel guilty. She feels that it is a necessity. That it is justified even. Sort of how people compartmentalize killing during times of war.

She must not feel the hit to the ego (aka guilt) and will use all sorts of mental gymnastics in order to prevent this. She may outright lie and the scary part is that a lie persisted in will be believed. In essence, she believes the lies that she tells herself.

You can see this quite often when she is caught cheating in her unpredictable reactions. She exhibits a form of madness when reality comes crashing down upon her. She may get violent, or she may start doing things like threatening to ruin the guy’s life. Her anger comes from a place of confusion as she cannot remember that she was lying and is unable to reconcile reality with the illusions she created for herself. Unfortunately, many are too proud to see themselves as anything less than perfect and are unable to simply say “I was wrong.” Most would rather persist in “her truth” instead of facing the consequences of their destructive/immoral/ and selfish decisions.

This is why many are unapologetic about the evils they do and are unable to accept accountability for their actions. This is why I believe that many do face a form of mental illness. I think the bible describes it as having a reprobate mind. Society seems to handle them with “kiddie” gloves when it comes to holding them accountable for their actions. We are hesitant to “call them out” on it and if we do, we do it as tactfully as possible because we seem to be afraid of shattering their egos. This leads to them being unable to self reflect, thus they easily persist in “bad behaviors” even if they destroy everyone and everything around them.

I think this is why so many women hated Kevin Samuels. He was not tactful. He held them accountable. They got a taste of what men go through when we aren’t performing honorably. Men are often more harsh with our words and to our boys when we are “fucking up.” We learn quickly that there are consequences for our mistakes/ bad decisions. I think that they subconsciously feared what would happen if men universally adopted this method of handling them as we handle boys and men in our society.

In my opinion, another major reasons why women in the west generally aren’t marriageable is because they lack accountability. They don’t have to face consquences for their disloyalty to their men or families. They are not made to feel shame or guilt for making poor or bad decisions that hurt others. They are constantly treated as victims no matter what role they played in their predicaments. No matter what happens, it’s the man’s fault … either he was neglectful, not laying it down in the bedroom, he wasn’t ambitious enough, or anything to point the finger at him to cause her “bad behavior.”

In addtion to having no/little accountability for their behavior, they are also encouraged to pursue their own “happiness” no matter who it hurts or how they have to get it.

Given the fact that so many are led by their greed (for material things) and lust. They pursuit of these things often coincide with their “happiness”. Society has placed them on a pedestal, while at the same time convinced them that they are victims. They bought into the lie because again, society generally does not hold them accountable for their bad behavior. It often encourages it. They do terrible things and feel like a victim the natural consequences of those behaviors arise.

If a man were to abandon or leave his wife and family because he felt “unhappy”, he is ridiculed by his peers or looked down upon. Even if the woman isn’t treating him well or if she’s taking him for granted, he is still expected to suck it up and protect and provide. He is expected to either suffer or ‘figure it out’. He is expected to take the flaming arrows and bullets in order to protect his family It is shameful to abandon his duties. It is perceived as dishonorable. There may be men who actually do go ahead with abandoning their families, but by and large, these men are not perceived as honorable men. It isn’t encouraged or seen an “empowering.”

On the flip side, women (even in cases where abuse or infidelity aren’t present) …many women encourage her to pursue what makes her happy. They call her empowered. They justify and say things like “how can my kids be happy, if I’m not happy.” Even if her “happiness” comes from a place of selfish entitlement. There is never any context to why she was unhappy to begin with. Duty and obligation are not taken into consideration.