Was talking to STBXW last night on an issue she was having with one of her “female friends”. I was quite surprised that she opened up to me and talked about something so personal. I could have handled it by simply answering the question. And I did…. at first, but as we started digging, I pointed out her hypocrisy. Her conclusion was that her ‘friend’ was selfish and probably not someone she’d want to hang around.

In her story, the friend invited her to come out to her home to spend the night. She had to travel a couple of hours to get there, but by the time she arrived to the city, the friend didn’t answer the phone. She was pissed and said that the friend knew she was on the way, but ended up going to sleep before she got there. She was saying how angry and disrespected she felt. Also stating that the friend was very “selfish” for doing that.

I told her I understood, but I think it’s a bit hypocritical for her to be THAT angry….considering how she did me. I was like it was inconsiderate of her, but maybe you can now understand how selfishness can hurt the people you’re supposed to be ‘cool’ with. Instead of acknowledging, that she could see where I’m coming from….she went on a tirade about how this has nothing to do with that. And even had the audacity to say “this is why we could never work.”…..smh

I agreed and said, yeah, exactly.

I have no clue as to why in her mind that I would even consider taking her back. Then again, I have come the conclusion that she is batshit crazy.

It seems that this level of delusion, selfishness, and lack of self reflection isn’t uncommon in a LOT of women. From my homegirl T, to my lover, to STBXW, to the trainwrecks I see on youtube on a daily basis, and on social media…..it’s starting to get me to the point of really understanding how rare it is to find a woman of substance.

It’s like I cannot talk to these women in any meaningful way.

Another part of last night’s story was that I gave STBXW the analogy of if someone had stolen something from her, then later came back complaining about how someone stolen something from them. Or if I had cheated on her, then later came back and complained about how someone had cheated on me.

She didn’t seem to grasp how even though they were different situations, the PRINCIPLES were the same. And I’ve noticed that with the women I mentioned above, despite being highly educated and in their 30’s and 40’s….they seem to have difficulty grasping analogies.

Conversation is a frustrating endeavor indeed. They seem to prefer gossip and entertainment over deeper conversations. I get it, perhaps I do like to go a little deep. But it’s hard to want to be with a woman who’s approach to life is so superficial. IMO, these women should not really be able to make decisions. I know it sounds condescending….and perhaps it its….but they seem to have the emotional maturity of children.

It seems to be some cruel trick of fate that such women can command such high incomes, yet still have the emotional capacity of a middle schooler. I get it. Women are emotional, I get it. But it’s hard to respect a person who allows their emotions to override common sense. If you can’t control yourself and use “emotions” as an excuse to make poor decisions, it’s like you can’t be trusted. It makes you less than human imo because we all have the ability to do so. What’s lacking is the will and the integrity. Add that to the fact that they use it as an excuse to never hold themselves accountable, then why should they enjoy the same freedoms as men who are expected to hold themselves and be held accountable.

I get that you can’t control your feelings sometimes, but you are responsible for your actions. I can feel like slapping the shit out of someone, but it doesn’t give me an excuse to put my hands on them except in self defense. But if I do allow my emotions to dictate my actions, and I cause harm to someone, I will usually be held accountable in some shape or form for it.

Ya know though, despite all my complaints about finding spending time and conversation with most women as tolerable at best…..i still hold out the hope that there is someone out there who I can have a meaningful connection with. Perhaps it is a pipe dream, but it’s pretty much all I got at this point. Perhaps I’m getting too old, or maybe it’s maturity. But one reason I don’t feel the need to ‘chase’ a woman is because I haven’t found one yet that really stands out to me in a deeper way. Superficial beauty is one thing. And STBXW fit the bill way back then. But after that experience, I’ve come to realize that I need something MORE. And perhaps weeding through all the bots will eventually help me appreciate the right one even more should she ever come along. And if we did have that deeper connection and mutual attraction. SHE would be worth fighting for. But I’d like to hope that we’d be willing to fight for each other.

Meanwhile, I need to figure out better ways to cope with these bots and get along better with them so that I can pretend for long enough to get the pussy then get out. A man got needs too ya know.