Collapsing in

I had a conversation with STBXW last night where we were talking about the future. (She still hasn’t sent me the divorce papers). In it, I told her that at first, I was really upset about everything, but now I come to realize that it doesn’t matter who she is seeing now. I know the truth and while she may fool them. We know what happened between us. And that in the end, I shouldn’t feel bad because it isn’t like I’m losing a good woman anyway. And that despite what she thinks about herself, a good woman wouldn’t have singlehandedly destroyed her home, betrayed her husband, and disrespected her son’s father for dick and attention. And….seeing the importance of our family to our kid, would have tried to at least fix it before burning it all down to the ground…..for dick, attention, and selfish reasons.

I’ve been working on trying not to get emotional with her, but she called on video phone and while talking about issues related to kiddo….I asked to see the air-bnb she was currently residing in. She declined saying that she felt I was “fishing” for information. I wasn’t, but this is how the whole conversation about it not mattering to what she does as 1)i’m powerless to stop it and 2)she’s doing it anyway came about.

Despite my words and her not having a rebuttal, I am wondering if she’ll ever regret it. I don’t think so. Even if karma comes and kicks her in the face with a steel toe boot, she won’t regret doing this to me or our family. She either feels justified or has lied to herself enough to not think about all the implications.

This is what scares me about modern women. Their seeming ability to shut off any reasoning, ration, and logic if it interferes with how she “feels” about something. You can’t reason with a person like that and the only way I know to get to them is through physical force. Obviously this isn’t a good idea for many reasons. But as men, if we can’t reason with one another or one is acting too emotionally, there is always a threat of physical violence. We call men who act like this “bitch ass niggas” for a reason. Dudes like this threaten order and generally aren’t tolerated too well in men’s spaces for long. One is expected to be able to control his emotions and rely on reasoning to justify his behavior. Otherwise a fight might just ensue. But i digress.

It’s like modern women really want marriage, but it doesn’t really mean to them what it means to me. It’s just another experience to them. For me it’s supposed to be a life long thing. It’s about fighting through the ups and downs and figuring out a way to make it work. It’s bigger than just me. It’s about us and our family. The does not give one party the right to rest on their heels because “I got you now”. But it means that we are to work together because divorce is the nuclear option and that only comes when one person really isn’t holding it down after repeated attempts to get them to tighten up.

Their attitude it seems is that we’ll give it a try and if it doesn’t work, then oh well, on to the next one. Why would I want to enter into such an arduous and long endeavor with a person who’s commitment is tepid at best. Nowhere in the vows does it say that my commitment is valid until I’m no longer having fun, someone better comes along, or I’m bored. Many don’t understand honor and true commitment. Love is just a feeling to them. Usually based on attraction or superficial reasons.

They are just too flaky for me. To me, marriage is about commitment and obligation. It’s about giving more than receiving and being ok with that. Not saying that the giving should be one sided, but I think that the expectation shouldn’t be that it’s going to be all sunshine and roses. They feel that they should reserve the right to give up and quit because they don’t feel like doing it anymore. Yet, they will work their 9 to 5’s and do whatever necessary to bring home that paycheck….even if they are miserable at it.

Ironically, my homegirl doesn’t see the irony in this and wonders why men like me are not really interested in committing to a woman. She says I’m wasting time by not committing. I say that a woman with her mentality is wasting man’s time because somewhere down the road, the odds are that she’s going to discover that marriage isn’t the finish line. It’s just the beginning. It’s an ultra marathon and not a 40 yard dash.

I don’t think that most modern women are built for marriage. Not one that lasts anyway and many exude the red flags that indicate they would make terrible life partners. STBXW isn’t alone in her mentality and it seems that the rise of “independent” women is actually more detrimental to the nuclear home than anything else I can imagine. Independent western women are selfish, self centered, defensive, arrogant, and hard to get along with in an intimate space because they feel they don’t need you. You’re just an accessory to them. Simps who will take them on due to their beauty or due to the fact they are lonely despite their poor dispositions and immorality makes it worse. Society today is breeding materialism and narcissism. It seems that most modern women (and many men to be fair) are buying into it hook, line, and sinker.

Some call me bitter, but ever since I took the red pill, I don’t think I can see most women the same again. It’s really like waking up out of the matrix. I don’t really believe what most of them say….not that I think they are lying per se…. but I think many believe what they say in the moment, but when rubber meets the road, they are incapable of standing on it. They lie to themselves, believe the lies, and when exposed, they simply blameshift, deflect or simply lie to others. They take no accountability and are perpetually playing the victim card despite their own poor choices and selfish behaviors. Many are very much like grown children from that aspect.

I’m starting to see why men in the past didn’t trust women much or want to give them much power. It’s not like they are less capable from an intellectual perspective, but their selfishness and dedication to themselves above others make most of them incapable of being trusted with power. If nuclear families are the building blocks of a civilization and independent women generally destroy them when given power, then it’s not really surprising the society is collapsing into degeneracy and chaos. It won’t be outside nations that causes the collapse of civilization, but the modern independent woman and her sworn dedication to the pursuit of her personal happiness (another fleeting emotion) at the cost whoever stands in her way.


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