Where is the lie?

I was having a conversation with an old co-worker about relationships and sex. She seems to believe that all most men want is sex and that we simply use women to get it. She is so feminist / blue pilled that talking to her is an exercise in frustration. But because she does at least listen….and we’ve made it pretty clear that no sex is happening between us…..I can be totally honest and transparent about my feelings about women in general.

We disagree on many topics, but the last one was about this whole notion of men ‘using women for sex’. She seems to think that if a man has sex with a woman, without any intentions for a relationship…..he’s using her and wasting her time.

I couldn’t disagree more. The way I see it, if we both enjoy the sex, then how is it wasting her time? If I am clear that I dont’ want a relationship and I’m not telling her or alluding to the fact that I want one with her, then how am I using her or wasting her time.

I also think that women demand way too much from men in a relationship. I told her that as a man….the only thing I ask for is loyalty, sex (and it doesn’t have to be ALL the time), and for her to not act like a mean witch all the time. Just be respectful. That’s it.

On the flip side, women seem to require…for a relationship…..ambition, dates, good sex, gifts, trips, entertainment, time, and sacrifice. Not to mention loyalty, leadership, commitment, being a rock, knowing how to handle her emotional mood swings. Basically being a handler. But you can’t be too hands on or off. You gotta find the right balance. You can’t be too nice, but you can’t be a pushover either. You gotta have an edge, but not too edgy.

And even if you manage to do 80% of all of that. If another man comes along who offers the other 20%….her loyalty is no longer with you and she’s out. Your 80% and work/time you put in becomes invalid. Keeping her ‘happy’ becomes your job and if you fail at it, then she feels justified in leaving or cheating. This is a raw deal to me. All this in exchange for what…..sex? That presumably we both enjoy? Loyalty?…..even though I also give that as well. Relationships are completely one sided favoring the woman and again, you put in all that work and all she has to do one day is wake up and say, she’s not feeling it anymore….or that dude she has eyes for returns the gaze…..and you’re out the door faster than yesterday’s trash. Who is actually using who? Who is wasting who’s time?

Man fuck that. Been there tried that, thought I was succeeding, but apparently I was wrong…..and guess who feels sympathy for me….nobody. Guess who’s telling STBXW she’s wrong for abandoning our family….nobody. But what they do tell her is that she should pursue her happiness no matter who she has to step on in order to get it.

In today’s society…..men seem to be expendable. All of your good deeds are replaced by what have you done for me lately…..your good intentions and friendship doesn’t mean shit if she decides she’s not happy. And I aint going for it. Again, who is actually using who? Who is wasting who’s time?

How am I wrong because I don’t want the job of being a gotdman genie in a bottle for an ungrateful, spoiled, and entitled princess who is loyal to noone except her own ‘happiness’ and desires. At this point, all I care to offer is some dick and conversation. I mean I do nice things too, but it’s not out of some idea that she’ll actually stay loyal to me when the urge to move on comes along. I do it because it makes me happy to show love.

Because i do know that relationships are all about her happiness and I’m not going to take on the impossible task of hoping that she’ll have mercy on me should I ever be foolish enough to fall in love and take on that foolish endeavor as a mission in life.

I don’t want the responsibility. It’s too much like work….and my only pay is what…..increasingly less sex and possible temporary loyalty/fidelity?

My friend thinks that I’m damaged and need counseling.

For what?,….to go back into that blue pilled mindset where I’m just a workhorse or man servant here to please her. Where I’m basically an expendable object or stepping stone on her whimsical path to some end of the rainbow pot of happiness. Nah man, I’ll pass on that. I’ll let some other simp or sucker sign up for that. The juice just aint worth the squeeze to me. I stepped off the plantation and I refuse to be a slave to the pussy.

I’ve learned the hard way that a woman loves you until she doesn’t. She’s never yours, it’s just your turn. Enjoy your turn, but realize it’s not gonna last forever. I don’t enjoy being a man servant to a person who doesn’t understand loyalty to others outside of herself.

At best I can hope for temporary infatuation. But again, it’s all just temporary until the next best thing comes along.

For now, I’d rather remain single and have a fwb. This keeps the playing field even. It’s never her job to keep me happy anyway…..but in this setup, it’s not my responsibility to do so for her. She’s free to leave when she gets tired of me….no need to cheat… no need for betrayal….and no hard feelings. If she can’t even do that without a commitment, then I can only be mad at myself because I obviously had my feelings in too deep.

Maybe this isn’t common information/knowledge, but I am free. It comes at a price of understanding that “true love” from a woman ain’t real….. but we all have to grow up someday. Santa Claus isn’t real and as a grown as man, I’ve come to realize that neither is a woman’s “LOVE” for me.

Growth is acceptance. It might seem that I come across as bitter…..but I am just accepting reality for what it is. Perhaps it seems that way because most people aren’t hip to the facts. I’m not mad….. no more than I’m mad that people lied to me about the easter bunny. It just is what it is and I no longer play that game thinking that it’s real.

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