I hear a lot of women say that “ambition” is an attractive characteristic in a man. I often find myself secretly rolling my eyes at this and it is somewhat a turn off. Partially because I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as ambitious so it automatically removes me from a possible candidate to date. I’m actually ok with that because I really only like who likes me, so it’s not a problem.
My biggest issue is that it seems like another hive minded buzz word. One gripe I have about many modern women (well actually people in general) is that they seem to lack self reflection and tend to go with whatever the ‘hive’ deems cool at the time. It’s like they aren’t really considering what they’re saying.
What is ambition anyway? A basic google search is that it is a strong desire to achieve something. But this something is going to be different for different people. For example, a boxer may want to be a world champ. A gamer may want to get a high score in a video game. A lawyer may want to be a judge. A monk may be looking to achieve enlightenment. A crackhead is looking to score some crack.
It may sound like nitpicking, but all of the above examples are examples of ambition. Only one or possibly two are what they actually mean when they say they want a guy who is “ambitious”. Let’s just keep it real. What they mean is that they want a guy who desires and is trying to obtain more money.
I’m sure that many of them would gladly take a lottery winner or an ex-nfl star who has millions of dollars over a guy who’s ambitions lead him to become say… teacher of the year in a high school. So to me, using that term is disingenuous at best most of the time.
Don’t get me wrong, if one’s true ambitions do lead to fame, fortune, riches, and so forth….I have nothing but respect.
It just seems to me that when women say that they want an ‘ambitious’ guy, it’s just a less rude way of saying that they want a rich/wealthy guy. Or a guy who’s ambitions will probably lead to wealth and riches. That’s fine, people want what they want and I’m not the desire police. I just don’t like when people are disingenuous about it. It leads me to believe that they are both dishonest and materialistic.
I can’t but help wonder if I don’t like materialistic women because I’m not wealthy and so they probably wouldn’t like me. Given my “I like who likes me” complex, this could be a possibility.
But i also think that they’d really only like me because I had the money. If I were to lose it, then they’d have no problems with telling me to get lost. On a side note, if I were to ever get a windfall of money, or if I developed a passion that ended up making me rich, I’d probably screw these women, but I wouldn’t wife any of them. I would be running thru them like kleenex during allergy season. So I don’t really blame men who have it and do this. TBH, I don’t see a problem with “high value men” having their way with these women….especially if she came along after he got his wealth.
Finding a woman who isn’t either outright materialistic or deceptive about it is like finding a needle in a haystack. I’m not advocating that people be broke and poor. But it does seem that most women and a lot of men seem to believe that we should always be looking to “level up” and that we should always be “chasing the bag.” Many believe that we should always be striving to live luxury lifestyles full of foreign trips, designer clothes, and expensive cars. They call it “better”.
I really don’t know how, with our limited time on this earth….that this is a better way. Passion is great and all….Ambition is cool too….but hustling for the sake of hustling seems to be a trap as one could easily never find contentment in life. To be honest, that’s fine. If that’s how you want to spend ‘your’ time….I really have no qualms about it. I just hate how those people tend to look down on others who are content with their lives as is. The term lazy and underacheivers get thrown around a lot. Perhaps from a subjective standpoint, this is arguably true. But if the goal is happiness and one is already basically content, then I see no need to hustle and grind for material possessions that you can’t take with you to the grave anyway.
If you aren’t content where you are, then you can ask yourself why. Is it because there is so much societal pressure to conform to this hustle culture….or do you truly want more. I’m thinking that it’s the former for the majority of people as I’m convinced that if the feeling is truly organic and comes from within, then they’d already be acting upon it, finding a way to make it. I think that most people just talk a good game.
We live in unprecedented times. The average middle class American has access to clean running temperature controlled water 24 hour a day. Our toilet water is cleaner than drinking water in many places in the world. We can eat damned near any food we desire….in and out of season….local or domestic. Hunting and farming has been replaced with taking a trip to the local farmer’s market or grocery store. We have central heat and air. We have access to the freaking internet 24×7 in the palms of our hands. We have access to transportation, electricity, relative peace. Relatively good health. Access to pain medication. Work for most isn’t some back breaking endeavor in manual endeavor.
I mean seriously, I’d rather be a middle class person today than a king back some 200 years ago.
Yet with all of this, instead of counting our blessings, many of us are pressed about some designer sunglasses, luxury cars, and material things to impress people that couldn’t give a rat’s ass about us. I think that if you’re healthy, middle class, debt free, and can still have enough money left over to buy a few toys here and there and save and invest in retirement, you’re wealthier than at least 98% of the population in the history of the world. Not a bad hand to be dealt if you ask me.
I’ve read in history how bad a lot of people had it. I see on television and the web how a lot of people live in other places. This isn’t a bad deal relatively speaking. While life isn’t exactly perfect…..i do believe that we do have a lot to be thankful for and honestly. I feel blessed.