They say that love is the thing that makes you accept the worst out of a person and still want to deal with them. In marriage, this gets exponentially harder as the lust factor fades, familiarity increases, and the pressures of life begins to mount up. You have to learn to accept your spouse, and their changes, for better or for worse for the sake of the family unit. Hopefully, that person’s changes won’t be deal breakers and you can grow together.
I’m starting to wonder if she hadn’t cheated / had an affair, could I have a taken the STBXW’s changes. I am at the point where it fees like she’s just not right for me. I wouldn’t marry her today if I knew her. Especially knowing what I know about her now.
But I have to admit that I don’t know if I’m really good for anyone in a relationship context.
However, I also have to admit that lately, I have developed an aversion to loving a woman. Ok, rather, being in love with a woman. This failed marriage and the internet has really changed my perspective of relationships and women in general. I always thought that in general they were fair minded, self sacrificing, oppressed individuals who just wanted a fair shake in love.
Today, I hold a wildly different view. It appears (at least based on my experience with STBXW and the view of many men social media) that they are actually selfish, materialistic, cold hearted, narcissists who only live for the principle of self. They are generally sneaky cheaters who only love what you can do for them and think that the universe revolves around them. They are ignorantly narcistic, virtue signaling, self victimized, spoiled princesses who feel that they deserve the lifestyle of the rich and famous. They can’t be wrong, like ever. In essence, many are like spoiled children with too much power and expect for men to bow down to them as they complain about said men, while at the same time feeling like they can treat men any way they feel…..often based on superficial values such as attractiveness or wealth accumulation.
I don’t know how many more videos I have to see of wives cheating on/ humiliating their husbands…..getting in a man’s face and talking shit, sometimes even hitting him, knowing he can’t really do anything about it…. or simply going online and complaining about the ‘lack of good men’ while always being attracted to ‘bad men’ who they already know are ‘bad’. They swoon for the attractive womanizer knowing his reputation in advance, seeing all the red flags, but when it blows up in their faces, they want to complain about ALL men……while either ignoring or friend zoning the guys (simps imho) who might actually treat them right.
But if they do choose one of those guys, they want money, more money, excitement, adventure. They want…no they feel that they ‘deserve’ a man who is attractive, wealthy, charming, understanding, passionate, a porn star in bed, and desired by other women while he only has eyes for her. And they should not settle for less than perfection (though often claiming that no man is perfect). These average women all think they are somehow above average and that average is somehow an insult these days. Too many think they are 8’s or 9’s and marriage material, no matter how shitty their morals, values, actions, and behaviors are.
For this, I blame the terrible ‘simps’ who tell women anything so that they can get laid. All up in their inboxes calling them ‘queens’ or ‘beautiful’. Noone is checking them and often the media panders and caters to them. Yet many still have the unmitigated gall to complain that the ‘patriarchy’ is oppressing them simply because they choose to engage with ‘bad men’ or would rather put the magnifying glass on they few bad men that actually oppose them.
They claim that men own most of the wealth when in reality it’s only a few men who own most of the wealth. Yet they conveniently ignore the fact that most men get raped in family court (often times for trying to do the right thing for their families)….most of the homeless people are men….. most suicides are committed by men….. 80% of divorces are initiated by women…. and let’s not forget that many of them feel entitled. The mere accusation of an average man doing something hurtful to a woman will often land him in hot water even before the evidence can be weighed out…..(yet they want to only spotlight high profile cases with powerful men….as if this is the norm).
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for ‘equal rights’ for women, but equal rights should not infringe upon a man’s rights to exist.
Oddly enough, despite all of these negative feelings I have against women in general. The ones that I encounter in real life seem pretty decent on the surface. With a few exceptions. I’ve pretty much discovered to avoid controversial topics or debates and let them talk without giving my true opinions if they are in opposition. I do believe that most women over 28 can’t learn anything and think that they know everything.
It’s like thoughts like “i don’t know” or “i could be wrong” never cross their minds. And it does really seem that it’s really pointless to have a real conversation or offer anything to the talk outside of what they already believe. Instead of listening, they want you to agree. If they start losing logically, they create “my truth” scenarios, deflect to different subjects, shut down completely, or become extremely insulting.
Perhaps I’m mysogynistic, but if it’s mysogyny to call it how I see it, then I’m guilty as charged. But imho, many women are just terrible…. at least in a relationship context. I couldn’t imagine being married to such a selfish, emotions driven, narcissistic, materialistic, cognitive dissonant, self absorbed individual again.
It really does make a guy only want them for one thing and as I get older, IDK if they are getting worse or if I’m just getting old….but I’m starting to wonder if that’s even worth it at times.