I’m not AntiVax

But I am a bit worried to take the vaccination. I don’t know why. It’s a really odd thing that pretty much all of the people pushing me to take the vaccination are women and the vast majority are liberal black women. There are a few liberal white women who also made a case. Maybe this is because the vast majority of women I know personally are black and liberal.

The media is really hyping this thing up as well. Radio stations, commercials, and I’ve even seen a few videos online talking about how important it is. Now you have the president offering $100 for people to take it. Even a few conservatives (Sean Hannity) are starting to tell us all to take it. Given the experts “CDC” and doctors all on board, you’d think that I’d also be on board with it. They are the experts after all and know way more about it than me.

I’ve heard great arguments and reasons as to why I should take it. I really have no rebuttal for it. In the face of so much advocacy from people that I generally respect from an intellectual level, plus the incentives. Plus people will finally shut the fuck up about it if I do…. I don’t know why I’m so resistant to taking it. Something just seems off. I’m not sure.

I haven’t heard any good reason as to why I shouldn’t take it. I mean sure, I’ve heard the conspiracy theories about 5G interference and the occasional story about people having adverse reactions to it. And there is also the videos about how magnets stick to the injection site on the body. But to me, it’s not enough to counter the reasonable arguments laid out by those who advocate it.

Still though. Something just seems off. Maybe I’m suspicious about how hard they are pushing it. Countered easily by, “because it is really that serious.” I’m not saying that it isn’t that serious.

Maybe because it is THAT SERIOUS i am hesitant about putting a weakened version of such a strange disease in my body on purpose. This whole covid thing is so different than everything I thought I knew about viruses. In the beginning, we kept hearing so much conflicting information about it. I get it, we learn more about it as time progresses and ‘leadership’ had to respond “in real time” to an unfolding crisis. Mistakes, misunderstadings, and misinformation happens….especially considering we have to reactive to the unknown unknowns.

It’s just something about taking it that literally makes me feel a bit queasy in my gut. “Gut instincts”. Or am i just being paranoid. Maybe it’s my subconscious fear of needles. I never took the flu shot. But i never got the flu…..except that one time I did take it.

I know that people get covid and die from it. I actually know of people who died from it. I’ve heard the stories. I believe them. But even knowing that, my stomach still feels like throwing up a little when I think about that needle being injected into me. Something seems a bit dystopian about it.

I’m really on the fence about taking it. Most of the closest women in my life are really worried and want me to take it. Conversely, the guys ….even the ones who took it aren’t really advocating that hard. Most are like….oh ok I took it because I had to for a job or something. Some just say they took it because of the news or already had underlying health conditions, but seem to be still somewhat on the fence about it.

I have no reason to believe that it’s a conspiracy on a mass scale. I joke about it being the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. Or that it’s getting us conditioned for the “mark of the beast” or something. I don’t really want to delve deep into research into why I shouldn’t take it as not to give myself bad information.

Maybe I’m worried about nothing. I’m usually not a conspiracy theorist so to speak even though I have a bit of mistrust for the government as a necessary evil. I damn sure wouldn’t want to die from covid though. I don’t know, something just feels off and I can’t put my finger on it. I’d never tell anyone not to take it. But idk. For me something doesn’t seem right. Since I can’t say what it is for sure, maybe it’s just all in my head.

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