The stbxw has been a real bitch lately. She lies so much. Witholds so much information. Wants my honesty and transparency, but refuses to be so herself. The car insurance company called me this morning asking about a car accident she had on the way back to New York. I told them to call her because I wasn’t there. I texted her and told her to call them. She called me. So I asked her what happened and she asks ‘why’ do you want to know. Just asking. “It’s none of your business.” she says.
It pissed me off. I can’t lie. Especially considering I caught her in another lie this weekend. UGH this chick is so toxic. I’m not sure what the fuck happened to her as she never acted like this in the beginning…..but i have a theory.
I think this is putting us in a sort of spiral where she gets some sort of twisted satisfaction in pissing me off.
I know it sounds crazy….and it might be… but here’s what I’m thinking.
She knows that she has taken the moral low road and probably can’t really recover. She knows that she burned the bridge down and it’s mostly her fault. It pisses her off that she isn’t seen as the ‘hero’ of the story. She knows that I KNOW what she did.
At this point, it’s like the only thing she can do to me is piss me off. Her only power/leverage left with me is to make me angry or hurt me by playing unfairly. And she’ll do it…. for as long as she can. I think this is subconscious on her behalf. This is why she doesn’t argue nor defend herself. She doesn’t make logical sense and there really is no point in seeking understanding from her. She doesn’t need to make sense. She isn’t looking for truth, understanding, nor to get along even.
Her entire goal is to either hurt, confuse, throw me off, or piss me off. She gets off on that from an emotional standpoint. She wants me to submit to her and the only time she seems nice or cordial is when I “thank”her for something. … they call that conditioning.
She’s become like her former AP in a sense. Manipulative, immoral, and soulless. I peeped the manipulation in him as he tried to probe me for weaknesses the few times we spoke. She’s not as logical nor verbal as him, but I was able to see it in him. I couldn’t work with him as I recognize that game. She gets a bit of emotional relief from getting negative emotions from me as it’s the only way she can get to me. If i don’t give it to her, she’s going to try to get it. But i digresss.
The best way to deal with her is to just ignore her completely. I cannot work with her nor take anything she says seriously. I can’t expect anything from her. I have to treat her like a child. Well, an adult child. I have to acknowledge her and play like I respect her. When she does stupid shit….or try to play mind games….. just completely ignore her. Grey rock. I can’t tell her how/why I disagree with what she says. Don’t try to correct, negotiate, chastise, educate or anything.
It’s going to make co-parenting a huge challenge. But her whole objective is to piss me off and if she does that, she wins. Unapologetic apathy really is the only way out of this.