Coping Mechanism

It just hits me sometimes. Out of nowhere. Nothing has changed. Nothing seemed to trigger me.

Just BOOM. Anxiety and pain. I logically know everything I already knew. I didn’t lose my understanding. I didn’t lose my will or desire to detach. I’m not wanting to get back together. I don’t desire her. I still know that I can do / should do/ deserve better. I still remember every SINGLE thing she did. I really want to let it go. I am really trying. But suddenly. Anxiety and pain.

Where does it come from?

It seems to be like a phantom arising out of nowhere. The feeling just possesses me. It’s not like I want to feel this way. So strange.

I guess I should stop thinking for a while and just FEEL. Instead trying to resist it, just breathe and feel. No thoughts, no judging it….Just breathe and Just Feel. Observe it and allow it do what it does until it passes. I am not feeling it. My body is. What if I (God in me) detach from myself and observe how the “me”(body, ego) is feeling this.

Just breathe and feel.

Keep marching

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