The biggest complaint that my stbxw had about me was the fact that she felt that I wasn’t “ambitious” enough. Sure, I have a decent middle class job. I am pretty comfortable financially even though I do acknowledge that I could probably get more certs or go back to school in order to get more pay.

From what I hear from women online, it is a deal breaker if a man isn’t constantly trying to make it to the “next level”. So maybe she has some legitimate complaints. While i don’t think it was worth breaking our family up over, I would have at least liked to have had the opportunity to “level up” if that would have kept her from cheating to save the marraige. I wish she would have communicated that with me.

Even though I now see that it is important for some women and it’s sort of like maintaining physical attraction. I’m not motivated to do it for her now. It would be stupid to change that about myself simply for her. I suppose I could do it for myself though.

I’m really just not materialistic like that. I’m a simple man as far as finances goes. I mean, as long as I can support myself, not bum off of others, and maintain a decent life, I’m pretty good. I don’t have a need to “build an empire” just for the sake of building a damned empire. If I found something that I enjoyed doing and could make a ton of money doing it, I would. But working my ass off to buy things that I don’t want just for people who I don’t like to like me isn’t high on my priority list.

Would I take a luxury car or mansion? Sure. Who wouldn’t? But I feel that having a damned purpose (other than making more money) would be much more fulfilling than just working to keep up with the Jones’s.

So as it is, I either need to find a woman who isn’t all that materialistic. As long as she can take care of herself, I’m good with that. We don’t have to necessarily stay where we are currently, but if we were to maintain and have savings for retirement and a rainy day, I’d be ok with that too. Or I have to change and figure out some way to level up in order to attract and keep more women. Either way, as of now, I’m cool.

I’ve been watching a lot of videos about men “finding their purpose” and making money in order to become a “high value” male. That’s cool and all, but I gotta stop watching these videos because often times, it’s content creators telling men this. In other words, these guys get a smug sense of superiority because they “leveled up” by telling other men to “level up.” If it wasn’t for youtube, they’d probably be just like me financially.

It would be like a person who made their fortune by writing books on how to get rich even though they were broke when they wrote it. It’ s not even hate. I don’t want what they have neither do I think that they don’t deserve what they have. God placed us is different positions, but I am pointing out the irony of how theyx got it. And not even that, it’s really about the newfound “superiority” complex they have now. Sir AlphaGuy88 <insert youtube handle>, I’ll still beat yo ass.

Not saying what they say doesn’t make sense to a certain degree. I just can’t with the superficiality and newfound sense of self righteousness. But who knows. If I come into sudden financial success through my hobbies, maybe I’d become a smug, superficial, self righteous asshole as well.