What the ?

STBXW has moved back in due to some unforeseen circumstances and man she’s really been on one. In her own way, I think she’s trying to ‘fix’ things like not hiding her phone when she’s on it or telling me her where abouts if she leaves the apartment.

I’m convinced that this chick has flown over the cookoo’s nest. I don’t know if it’s just me, but her justifications and arguments for her affairs are trash. She says that she resents/resented me, but can’t tell me why exactly.

The sex is just awful. I guess she was in the mood and woke me up this morning with the sounds of the buzzing of her vibrator. She asks me to lick her breasts while she plays with it. Nothing doing. I’ve tried that dumb shit before and all she did was get off from the vibrator while leaving me on hard.

Though I was tempted as I haven’t been getting any recently, I decided to decline. She asks why and I explain how last time that happened, I felt like a gotdamn fool. “Why” she asks. “Let’s not talk about it.” “I’m good” …. I get up to leave since I don’t know why she’s in the bed with me anyway. But she pulls my arm and begs me to stay.

So now we have to have the conversation where I explained and asked her how she’d feel if

1)I cheated on her multiple times

2)If i wanted sex, I’d let her watch me masturbate but wouldn’t allow her to touch me…..except in specific places

3)Every time she asked me for sex, I’d always have an excuse or turned her down.

4)And not to mention that once during her affair, we had sex where she said the other guys name and told him about it. They laughed it off, as it was a boost to his ego, but at the same time, he cursed her out and asked why she had sex with me in the first place.

She says that she doesn’t mean anything by it and that basically, I’m taking it too personally. Her exact words were that she never thought about it like that. I replied that this type of behavior is emotionally and mentally damaging and borderline abusive.

Listen, I’m a grown assed man and I really hate having these types of conversations with her. I shouldn’t have to talk to an adult woman about how to treat others. I feel pathetic for even being in the vicinity with her after all of that.

Reading this, I know that I sound like a beta male simp. In certain ways, perhaps I agree. I gotta do better man. This chick is bullying me into being in a situation with her. I’ve been over it, as far as wanting to fix things with her. I just want her to move out. I gotta get this divorce as these things cannot happen.

Noone has ever treated me like this. I have to figure something out as she literally won’t leave and due the fact we’re married, she is under no legal obligation to go. She treats me that way because she can.

Here’s the thing…. I really believe her when she says that she doesn’t think about it like that. I am pretty much convinced that this chick is devoid of understanding. She’s an emotional blonde. Her arguments and justifications are just terrible. I’m not sure how I missed all of these red flags in her. Did she change or was she always like this?

What’s wrong with me? Why am I allowing her to just do shit like this to me? How did I end up here?

Our son loves her to death and I don’t want to ruin their relationship. I love having him under the same roof, but I cannot take living with him if it requires so much loss of self-respect to have her there. I can’t just put my fist through her face as I’d normally do if someone cornered me so to speak and disrespected me.

However, even though I call her crazy…..i’m just as bad as I’m allowing it to happen. Perhaps it’s time to go for a (permanent) cigarette run to the store?

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