Many times, husbands give their wives passes after infidelity. The reasons may be financial (it’s cheaper to keep her), the kids, or simply because he still loves her.
Despite that, perhaps a cheat on a drunken girls night might be fixable. An affair isn’t.
The ego of men makes this almost impossible to overcome. Especially if the other guy knows about you. It’s best upon the discovery of an affair to let it go. Things will never be the same. No matter how much you invested or love her at the time, it’s best to walk away with your dignity and let it go.
Here are the hard truths:
She doesn’t care about you anymore. Your history, vows, friendship, memories, even family means less to her than the dick she’s on her knees for worshipping now. His ego grows at the thought of your shame. He takes more pleasure from the sex than usual knowing that he cucked you.
That he did things to her that only you were supposed to do. His sexual pleasure comes at the expense of your dignity. And each time he fucks her or looks down and watches her lips on his dick, knowing she will come home and kiss you and your children pleases him. And she knows it. This is why she will do the most depraved things sexually for him. Things she never would do for you. It turns her on. And she loses more respect for you. This is why she starts to treat you with more and more contempt. Simultaneously gaining more admiration for him. It’s a sick sexual energy thing and you become the loser in her eyes. IT’s over. Let her go. She’ll never be the same and you’ll never see her the same again.
She will never tell you everything she did. How she let him fuck her in the ass in the church parking lot. How she told her to cum in her when she sneaked off to the hotel with him on that business trip. How she swallowed his jizz on your anniversary. How she sucked him off in the bathroom at the park. She won’t tell you all the nasty details and at best will trickle truth you or outright lie.
Because if you knew, she knows it would crush and destroy you. It would destroy any chance to get back with you as she’s using you and your “undying love” as a safety net. She was literally on her knees worshipping the cock of your enemy. They guy who was willing to destroy your family. The guy who broke man code of messing with someones family and didn’t give a shit about how your kids would feel about losing their family. The guy who may have shaken your hand and pretended to be your friend. They guy who got off even more by the fact he was able to dominate your wife.
Then think of all the intimate details, secrets, dates and adventures they went on. How it was them against you and the world. How she came so hard with him. How she was thinking of him whenever you made love to her.
She will never admit these things to you. How could she? In order to save face, she wouldn’t admit them to herself. Even though she knows that these did indeed make the sex feel even better with him. But deep down, she knows it. She didn’t make a mistake. She fucked up. She betrayed you on every level: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
She loved the fact that she was his slut while you loved her as your queen. She thought of you as pitiful. Your acts of love and trust were seen as simple and naive. Pathetic even. She was ashamed of you. You’re not the man she ‘thought you were’. How else could she do this do you. She reasons.
You’re no longer the hero of the family. Your children may love you, but she reasons that you’re a weak fool. She’s a “bad bitch” and deserves better. This guy gets her. He’s a winner in her eyes. Your value drops (unfairly for sure) but in her eyes you’re a fucking loser who’s wife just fucked and sucked a “stud”…. you stupid, weak fool.
Let it go man. Her mind is warped and twisted. Her thoughts and actions have led your relationship off a cliff. She was like a drunk driver out of her mind, but the consequences has led to the death of your dignity, further the death of your family. Maybe she’ll be sorry some day. But most likely never if you stay with her. Even then, chances are slim as these types of people rarely if ever own up to the full consequences of their actions. In other words, she’ll never own up to nor understand how emasculating it is as a man to have to deal with this.
They can never accept the idea or fact that once you cross certain lines, you will begin to devalue your spouse. She knew that every step of the way towards falling in love with him, that she was wrong for it. She knew that her lies and gaslighting were deal breakers. She knew that things would never be the same again. In order to justify her actions, she had to devalue you as a husband, man, and human being. Your family, your love, and everything you built helped contribute to the excitement and lust of the sex. And don’t get it twisted….affair sex is reported to be the THE BEST sex due to the wicked nature and secrecy of it. Do you think that sex could ever be as hot or lusty as sex with an affair partner. Even if you are more skilled, sex especially with women is psychological and the truth is that you could never take her on that type of high.
Also remember that if you discover it while in the middle of the affair, she is not your friend and she will lie, gaslight, manipulate, fake cry, blameshift…..everything to satisfy her desire for her new god. She is Judas Iscariot. Benedict Arnold. The embodiment of Lucifer, the fallen star. No amount of reasoning, logic, appeals to morality, reminder of her vows, appeal to family will convince her to turn around. YOUR WIFE is dead to you now. She is no longer the woman you married (or thought you married).
She doesn’t respect you anymore. How could she. Perhaps there is a certain level of love that she has for you for being there for the kids or something, but her level of romantic love and adoration cannot be the same. How can she respect you even if she says she does. Maybe she does in a round about way love you but….
Not enough to stop. They may lie and say it’s over. But 8 out of 10 times. They go underground and hide it. Trust when broken to this degree cannot be fixed. Just accept it. Research on false reconciliations. That shit happens most of the time in the case of affairs. I still maintain that you couldn’t cheat on someone that you love as:
1)you wouldn’t want to break the trust in your relationship.
2)you wouldn’t be able to stand to hurt them in that way.
Once the respect is gone, there is no coming back for it. She may bide her time until the next crush or loser she’s attracted to is willing to cheat with her comes along. She has more respect for him and you’ll once again be placed in the category of the man who allowed a woman to do that to him. She will desire that high that you cannot give her.
You can never take her back. Just cut your losses and move on.
Don’t take it personally though. If the shoe was on the other foot. Say you were the douchebag who fucked married women and he was her poor schmuck of a husband who adored her, you could take her there too. It says nothing about your prowess as a man or husband. It’s just the wicked nature of how that shit works. Unfortunately, most cannot recognize that it is what it is. An usually high dose of oxytocin and dopamine she got because of the illicit nature of the relationship. she’s a “love” junkie at that point. No more reliable than a heroin addict.
A woman follows her heart. She’s been trained to. The bible says that the heart is deceitfully wicked above all things. What do you think happens when a person decides to follow it? Death and destruction. Betrayal and apathy. Lies and deception. And she has to justify it all in order to make herself look like the victim or the misunderstood heroine of the story. She is given over to a reprobate mind. It’s best to let her go because once she crosses that line…..she’s never the same.