She’s Still Here

I understand that people cheat for all sorts of reasons. I dunno, maybe I’ve been going through this shit for too long. I’m starting to feel like this is a normal thing. Between all of the reddit posts, youtube videos, anectdotal stories, and websites dedicated towards people telling their stories of infidelity. It seems like everyone is doing it. Logically, I know that people who don’t worry about it don’t post about it, but i have no idea how many people are actually in committed relationships.

From a man’s perspective, I have no respect for men who sleep with other men’s wives. Especially when they know that there are kids involved. It seems like the height of selfishness to go in and break up a man’s home (family in tow) just for nsa sex. Of course the cheating spouse is to blame as well…..but the arguments I hear such “i didn’t commit to you” or “how is it my problem” or “someone else would have done it” or any other stupid thing just makes my blood boil. Being ‘unhappy’ is no excuse either because even if they are, relationships go through things and cheating definitely won’t help fix any anything.

These excuses discount the fact that the betrayed spouse is still a person or human being worthy of dignity or respect….even if you don’t know them like that. They may not be perfect, but who is? Are you going to be there to help the children get over their broken hearts? Can you really trust what that person is saying to you…. I mean he/she is a cheater after all. Would you want someone doing to you what you’re doing to someone else? Would you get mad if someone robbed your home or assualted a loved one? I mean, it probably wasn’t personal….but by engaging in damaging acts, you made it so.

People ain’t shit. I’m losing hoping in humanity as far as sex and relationships go. I don’t know why i still have this place in my heart for a faithful woman, despite knowing that overwhelming odds is that either she is cheating or will cheat in the future. It makes me just want to be like everyone else and “do me” before it gets done to me … again.

It would be just my luck that I find someone who isn’t on that kick and ruin that relationship. I fear love. I want it, but I know that it has the potential to kick the shit out of me….. There is no punishment for adultery these days. There is usually no karma (i hope I’m wrong about this). And people who do this shit seem to get away with it scott free.

I asked my wife what her family thought about all this. She says that they say that if she’s unhappy, then she should just divorce and not cheat. But they have her back either way. What in the family fuck is that. So what in the hell is the purpose of marriage again? Happiness?

So am I justified for leaving my family…..going back on my vows….leaving my responsibility simply because I’m unhappy. Abuse, repeated infidelity, or extreme circumstances aside. Unhappiness, in her case sounds like ‘boredom’. Would I be justified in cheating and breaking my home because I like being single….or simply because I want a new partner (simply because I got tired of the old one). What am I teaching our kids? It’s ok to simply quit something because you’re not happy about having to do it? That it’s ok to absolve your responsibilities because you feel entitled to more? That boredom is excuse enough to destroy your own family when you get older. WTF man?

Apparently, increasingly, A LOT of people feel this way and to me, that makes marriage a worthless endeavor. So, I can simply split over some general sense of unhappiness. I can have affairs, girlfriends, ladyfriends, and cheat at will and being unhappy is good enough an excuse. When one of these “friends” work out, then it’s ok for me simply break my family home and move on with them with no regard to our children or how it impacts their lives and homes.

No….at best we could have been babymama/baby daddy.

I really can’t believe that my stbxw believes that shit. I guess she does, I mean people can change, but that much? I mean how could I have missed all the red flags that had to have been there. How can she sleep at night, knowing that she’s so wrong for this….do nothing, except continue down the path of destruction….and just act like she’s done nothing wrong. How could she hurt someone so bad and not feel any bit of remorse? How does she really expect forgiveness, friendship, or anything less that contempt after completely burning this bridge.

How can she be OK with willfully destroying our family. How can it mean less than nothing to her? It’s insulting to think that I have to live with someone who’s lack of care for something so important to me and our son gets to do whatever she wants, get a free pass, and not even acknowledge how fucked up it all is. I can’t stand her or people like her. How could her family or friends even trust her around their men. If she’d do it her own husband and family (with no regrets), who’s to say she wouldn’t hesitate to hook up with their men if the opportunity presented itself.

Perhaps they are all hoes too? Perhaps none of those hoes are loyal. I know that I need out. She keeps promising that she’ll leave as soon as she gets the travel position. I can’t wait.

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