Perhaps the universe is doing what it does and I just have to trust the process. I mean ultimately, the attachment to family in the scheme of things has very little significance outside of my tiny slice of conscious experience. When I die, all of these memories, experiences, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. will have very little (if any) impact on history.
Even if I were to accomplish something “great” by today’s standards, I won’t be remembered much beyond my son. And in two generations, I’ll probably be completely forgotten. I’m about as significant as piece of lint or a single hair.
So why should the universe consider me any more or less significant. There are countless stars, solar systems, and galaxies in a seemingly infinite sized universe. Time goes back and forward in a seemingly infinite line.
I’m no special snowflake. Though unique as any, who remembers any one specific in a snow storm. I’m as one drop of rain in a hurricane. I wouldn’t be missed, even if I didn’t show up. Yet I think that I’m the entire storm.
So why am I sweating the way that I’m being treated by my stbxw. My ancestors faced much, much worse conditions. There is someone out there dying of cancer. There are parents who’s children have it. There are people who don’t have a meal. People in history have been kidnapped and taken from their families. People who don’t now where their next meal is coming from.
In other words, my issue is small compared to what countless others before endured and countless others after me will have to face. I’m not the only man this has ever happened to and won’t be the last. Better men have gone through worse.
This is perhaps my ego. From this perspective, I should b grateful for all that I do currently have. The other important things. I have my health. Those I love the most are healthy. I have a good job. I am able to engage in my hobbies. I’m in great shape. I enjoy my hobbies and have the opportunity share them with my son. I have more video games than time to play them. I don’t feel less than a man. I am truly blessed in so many ways. I have family and friends who love and support me. I don’t have any real enemies set out to destroy me.
I’m not at war. My life isn’t in any imminent danger. I can take hot showers every night. I live in 21st century America. I can eat almost whatever I want, whenever I want. I have food in the fridge and can afford to go out and get more 24/7 if that isn’t enough.
Being a middle class citizen in the U.S. today means that my quality of life, for most of my life has been better than 98% of the population that ever lived before me. This includes, kings, queens, and royalty in recent history. I don’t live in a crime infested area. No real gang wars. I have an amazing son and great relationship him.
I have the internet in the palm of my hand. I am truly wealthy. Very wealthy in terms of quality of life. And instead of appreciating all that I do have. I’m focused on the one negative thing that, in the scheme of things, isn’t that significant. If she’s the type of woman who can do these things, then worrying about her behaviour/action isn’t really worth my peace.
I am smart, funny, handsome, wealthy, healthy, and am gaining more and more wisdom each day. I am truly blessed. And i should enjoy this moment. There is no guarantee that any of this will be here tomorrow. God/the Universe has given me so much, extended me so much grace, when I didn’t ask for it. It feels great to be able to breathe air without obstruction. I am not afflicted with any physical pain right now.
I am actually happy. So instead of focusing on the one negative thing when I have been blessed with so many positive. I should be grateful and focused on enjoying my life. It’s a great time to be alive for me.
I am truly blessed and going forward, I will enjoy the day because I have clue what tomorrow will bring.