Losing it

Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my shit. I really hate it here and its just so hard to cope with my stbxw in the apartment with me.

I wish I could be away from her. Just never see her nor hear anything from or about her again.

I just hate looking at her. Speaking to her. Hearing her voice. I dont want to be near her. It sucks that we have to coparent for the next 7 years as I wish this was a person I could just leave in my past forever.

Each day seems to get worse and worse. And there she sits…..aware of the pain, humiliation, and disrespect she causes….knowing i am trapped with her….and despite knowing it, willing to continue doing it…..and acting as if I should just be amicable.

I’ve never been raped, so I cannot say how much that damages a person….but it does feel like I’m being fucked unwillingly….as the fucker sits there saying…..relax, its not my intention to hurt you, i’ll stop when im done…..just pretend that this isn’t happening. As she furiously pounds my asshole. Occasionally laughing and giggling while other times asking if I’m ok. As if I’m an object not worth any sort of dignity or respect.

Then after the whole ordeal is over, imagine having to deal with the asshole who did that to you…..and they pretty much got away with it Scott Free.

Yet society says, hey be nice. You have to coparent. I’m the asshole because…..”hey shit happens”….

It’s like the message is that you can do anything you want to people in the pursuit of your own personal happiness, regardless of how fuxked up it is, as long as there are not legal ramifications behind it…..and the person getting screwed just has to take it, stfu, and forgive.

Fuck her man. I hate that stupid fucking witch with everything within me.

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