Be a matador

My people perish for a lack of knowledge.

Man, I don’t know if I’m just bitter or if I’m just awakened.   Women in America are freaking crazy man.   It’s like if you’re good to them, they cheat or run off.   If you cheat or are bad to them, they chase.  It’s like they’re not happy either way.  You’re either too boring or you “ain’t shit”.   I’m convinced that despite no matter what happens, they’re always looking for happiness.

So.  In turn, the universe blesses (or curses) them with what they want.   To always be looking for happiness (as opposed to just being happy).   It’s something about these women that they need drama or misery.   It’s as if that must be a part of their existence or they get bored.

I hear story after story after story about how good men try to step up and create families or keep it solid with a woman, only to have her go out and cheat.  It’s like they mistake his kindness for weakness.  And the mental/emotional abuse these men endure is mind blowing.   I feel for these men because I know first hand how evil, deceitful, and wicked a woman can become.

On the flip side, I hear story after story after story about women out here chasing men who have multiple baby mama’s, can’t stay out of jail, can’t keep a job, keep cheating….etc.

Whenever I ask a woman why they fall for the ‘thug’ types, they pretty much always say that those men make them feel ‘protected.’

Protected from what?   Who do you need protection from here in the U.S.?   Why are you hanging out in hood areas where you need protection anyway?  Soooo…. Kind hearted men can’t protect you?  Dudes who have something to lose aren’t out here getting into bullshit.  We handle our business and mind our own.    Many of us own guns and know how to use them.   We stay fit and often have taken up boxing or mma.  I mean, I’m a kind hearted person, but I don’t fear any man on the street.  I feel I could beat a lot of these so called thug dudes out here if we had to throw hands.

How in the hell do you feel that a 145 pound, out of shape grown man who smokes weed, drinks all day, can protect you.   If he’s not working, then is he protecting you financially?

If I ask the question, I’m met with blank stares, or looked at like,  Hmm I never thought about it, or whatever.  Man, are they stupid or something.   Seriously, there is something wrong here in America man.   I mean seriously, you’ve never asked yourself why you and your friends keep falling for the same types?

Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised.   Most women I know don’t really like having deep or serious conversations.   They overwhelmingly like to talk about some gossip, drama going on in their lives, whatever bullshit is happening in the moment, or some insignificant stupid shit.

I’m starting to think they feel left out if they aren’t part of the single mothers who have ain’t shit baby daddies club.   They wear that shit like a badge of honor or something.   While at the same time on Instagram posting “where are all the good men.” memes.

Wanting to be married, but not be wives.   They want the ring and the wedding, but don’t want to sacrifice the male attention, nsa sex, and single life in the city in order to actually be a wife and raise a family.   They will only respect a man if he is abusive, cheating, or has one foot out of the door already.

Maybe they actually need protection from themselves.   Maybe they intrinsically know that they have an evil side that’s activated by kind men.

Relationships are so dysfunctional here in the west that it’s ridiculous.   It’s at the point of where when I do have the sexual interest of a female, I’m hard on myself for being too kind to her.    I feel that I have to balance out the kindness by doing something fucked up or starting a stupid argument in order to keep her interested.

I notice that if I do make a mistake, the best thing to do is continue to act like I don’t know or use some sophistry to make it seem like it’s ok.  I’ve accidentally struck a woman during sex a little harder than I meant and even though she was shocked, the energy felt like she took it as a red flag, but was turned on more by it.

I got drunk and straight cursed a fwb out over some bullshit.  I mean straight out disrespect,  she got mad and in her feelings, but came back later and the energy made it feel like she was bonded closer to me.

The only ex I cheated on and ended up with a pregnancy scare  wanted to my surprise to work things out after a few weeks.

Dudes I know who are constantly disappearing, cheating, broke, taking her car to see other girls and getting busted seem to always be able to get away with it.   Women truly like asshole behavior.

But that’s not my personality.  How fucked up is that I have to struggle to be an asshole sometimes in order to keep her interested.    I don’t care how much they say they don’t like it, they respond to you totally differently when you’re an asshole to them sometimes.

They won’t admit it.   It’s frustrating because it’s like they can’t see it even if you give them dozens of examples, even from their own lives or their friends lives.   Women like red flags it seems.   They chase them like a bull in a bull fight.

“He has a police record”….hmmm, let me investigate.   “He might be abusive”…hmmm, let me see.  “He has a reputation as a player”….hmmm, gotta check it out.   “4 baby mamas”….let me take a closer look.

Maybe there is an asshole to kindness ratio you have to work out in order to keep them balanced.

Strange times man.



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