It’s the drugs man

Falling in love is one of the most dangerous things you can do with your life.   You literally get addicted to a person and the withdrawals can be brutal.    Many people alleviate the pain by jumping from one relationship to the next.   There is generally an overlap and in that period you’re cheating.   Serial monogamists are notorious for this.   Because the dating market is easy for decent women, they are at a distinct advantage in this arena.

As a man, it is mandatory that you learn game and have several options available at all times.    It really is dangerous to have all of your eggs in one basket.   This weekend, i realized that I might be in danger of falling ‘in love’ with my lover.   This is a scary prospect.   I suppose it might be impossible to just have sex with someone for so long and not develop feelings.

It’s an odd feeling to know that I don’t really love her like that, but I’m starting to feel a bit possessive.   NSA my ass.   FWB is some bullshit.   On one hand, it is easy to have situationships that aren’t clearly defined.   On the other, once the attachment sets in, it’s hard to just let it go.

I gotta do better.  I know better.   I understand that it’s chemicals.   I know that my body and hers are bonded during this ‘honeymoon’ period.   Yet and still, I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be for me to let it go.    I see how people can get stuck in dysfunctional relationships.   I see how sex can indeed be dangerous.    Given that women have a shit ton of options these days and the fact that they can be fickle, it’s clearly not in a man’s best interest to be bonding with these women unless I have a gameplan.   That’s the downside to consistent NSA sex.

I suppose it is like knowing that meth is addictive and choosing to take it anyway.  As if knowledge of addiction can somehow stop you from getting addicted.    How stupid is am I?

I’m kind of afraid of falling for her.  I know we wouldn’t be great together.   As a friend, she’s cool, but as a girlfriend or something, it would probably be fucked up.   We really only connect sexually.   I like it like that.   But i don’t want the chemical bond we have to fuck me up mentally.   I know that as soon as the honeymoon phase is over, we’ll probably both look back and say “what the fuck was I thinking?”  She is a party girl.   Definitely not wifey material for me even though she ultimately wants to be married to someone some day.

I’m pretty sure she’s not upfront about her sexual past and I’m guessing that she’s probably had a few one nighters.   Maybe I have to fall back for a few.   It’s getting intense.  I can see the storm on the horizon.




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