Perhaps I’m just a man scorned. That doesn’t mean that I can’t objectively look at the trends. It seems that women are attracted to men who exhibit toxic behavior. Sure they don’t like the consequences. Sure, they complain, get hurt, cry, write songs, and bash men. But it can’t be denied that the type of men that show these characteristics are doing very well with women out here.
I’m tired of reading articles and hearing stories from women complaining about how they are so hurt over what these guys are doing to them. I’m tired of hearing about how selfish he is and how they want a man to just treat them well. I’m tired of saying they want a man who listens to them.
At the same time, they call these ‘ideal’ men weak. Too often they say, they don’t want to ‘run over him’. Being considered nice is a red flag to them. The asshole seems powerful and dominant to them. It’s attractive and it seems they are powerless to resist, even to their own emotional detriment.
I’ve realized that the difference between women and men are greater than I thought. Women aren’t too logical when it comes to choosing a mate. They go with the stupid mantra of “the heart wants what it wants.” in order to justify their bad decisions. What they consider their “heart” is actually their pussy. If he makes her wet, then she’s pretty much putty in his hands.
In my own personal mind, attractiveness and love don’t really have much to do with each other. Strippers are often beautiful women physically. Many are personable and intelligent. They can have great and interesting conversations. If we have sex, it probably is great. Yet, her occupation makes so that I won’t be investing my emotional energy into thinking that I can change or save her. A woman with a permiscuous past or who has a history of cheating lets me know that I shouldn’t risk falling in love with her. Let alone knocking her up.
No matter how beautiful and charming she is. It does’t matter how good she makes me feel at the time. I personally believe that if she has this effect on me, she has the ability to charm and make her past ‘victims’ feel great and become addicted to her. I don’t think that I have the magic penis or the heart of healing that will change her. No matter what she says to me at the time. Sooner or later, she will turn on me too.
It’s amazing how women can be so deceitful, yet naive at the same time when it comes to toxic men. Perhaps they are cursed to love that which harms them and be repelled by those who would actually give them what they say they want.
I was always amazed how women often fall for guys who they know have a reputation of playing women. Or guys who have many baby mothers. I suppose that there is something that they are saying or doing. But you’d think they’d realize that if he has a way with the ladies, then maybe he’s also using his charm on her. What makes her think that she’ll be any different this time. You would think that she’d realize that he makes her feel the same way he made these other women feel. That he made them promises or led them to believe that they’d be the ‘one’. And yet she is shocked when she discovers that he is playing her, is cheating, or has ‘fallen for someone else’ and no longer wants to be with her exclusively.
Their bitterness and anger over it reinforces the notion that women are stupid. I’m not mad at these guys and in fact, I’m thinking that perhaps I can learn from them. The blue pill notion that you can treat them well forever and keep them attracted hasn’t served me well at all and in fact got me cheated on multiple times. It seems that the better you treat them, the worse they treat you.
What’s worse is that they almost always deny it. While telling me that women don’t want a charming asshole, they are often involved with one and can’t seem to leave them alone for too long. Perhaps for me, the signs are obvious. I no longer say anything when they bring a ‘chad’ or ‘tyrone’ by because they should know the signs at this point. They’ll deny the flags and believe that because they’re a ‘good’ woman, things will be different. I’ve even seen a few get pregnant by these guys and when he leaves, she acts all surprised and angry at him.
Point out that he has 4 different baby mama’s their go to excuse is that he’s a good father to all his kids. Point out that he has a reputation, they say, people change. Point out he’s currently dealing with a chick, then “she’s crazy. He doesn’t want her anymore, but she keeps stalking him.” All true life stories btw.
Then again, if they bring a guy who seems pretty decent around, they often end up saying things like he’s boring or he’s too nice. Sure, he pays for dates, opens my car door up. Replies to my texts on time. Texts me good morning every morning. But something is off.
As decent men (men with good intentions) we have to learn that if we want success, we have to stop being nice to them. Take a page from the asshole’s book. We must learn to be selfish. We have to learn to override the programming our mothers and society as whole has given us. Smothering them with too much unearned attention is a bad thing. You cannot kiss her ass and you must always be willing to walk away. It’s a much harder task when she’s the only woman in your life. Onenitis or falling for her for real for real is the kiss of death in a relationship.
The bottom line is that we have to kill this idea or notion that ‘real’ love is in the cards for us. Learn to be emotionless when it comes to that and you’ll do much much better. Remember that this is just a game. You can never be too concerned with the outcome.