The most popular title of my blog posts is called ‘Pursuing a woman’s heart’. In it, i was speaking about how I’ve never really pursued a woman and that I never really saw a need to do so.
I’m pretty sure the content isn’t what people have in mind when they read it. I’m thinking they want advice on how to get her interested.
Ironically, at this point, I think to actually pursue a woman’s heart is the most blue pilled and self sabotaging thing a man can do.
Here are a few reasons why pursuing a woman’s heart is a bad idea.
1)I don’t believe that a woman can ever truly love you for you. She might fall ‘in love’ with you, but that’s only temporary. She might project onto you what she needs/wants at the time, but eventually she’ll realize that you’re just a man. In the end, you’re pretty much signing up for a lifetime of jumping through hoops, increasing demands, and constantly moving goal posts. Her heart is fickle and unstable. Even if you’re able to obtain it, it’s like grasping tightly onto a bar of slippery soap.
2)You’re investing and will probably fall deeper in love. An old player’s trick is to get women to gradually invest more and more. Start small and then gradually have her invest more and more. People tend to not want to give up on things they’ve invested in. It’s a subconscious trick of the mind. The more you invest, the deeper you fall. Even if it’s a bad deal, you want to work harder to make it work out. The subconscious mind wants a return on it’s investment and will show you reasons as to why this person is worth it….even though often times, they aren’t.
On a side note: This can work to your advantage in a marriage though if you find yourself falling out of love with your spouse. Just invest more and you’ll find yourself feeling it again.
3)Falling in love with a woman actually makes you weak. They say that the person who cares the least has the most power in a relationship. You have to always be able to walk away. It’s much easier for women to do this… especially if she’s beautiful as there are a ton of men lined up already to simp for her. Unless you make enough money to change her lifestyle, (and that’s dubious at best…Jeff Bezo’s wife left him…just saying) You’re in a losing situation. Even if you have decent game, most likely, she can replace you faster than you can replace her.
4)You’re better off trying to learn to attract her. A woman can love you as a person, but unless she finds you attractive, she’s either going to cheat or friend zone you. If you truly love her, you won’t be able to treat her in a way to ‘invalidate’ her. She should be chasing your validation. At the very least she should have to earn it. If you just give it to her, then she won’t really appreciate it and will find you boring. The fastest way to get heartbroken is to ‘bore’ her. This is why she finds it difficult to leave the bad boy. It’s why she calls you complaining about him. It’s why you have to keep telling her she ‘deserves better’. She knows it, but her vanity makes her ‘require’ closure. She invests more and more as she seeks to regain the validation he took. It’s a vicious cycle. Look back over number 2.
5)Desperation only works in the movies. Women may say they want the love like in romantic comedies. In real life, over pursuing causes her to run away faster. She has to want to be caught by you. Blinded by love or lust, many guys turn the pursuit from a fun game of tag into a life or death slasher mover type pursuit. She’s actually running to get away from you, not because it’s fun for her.
6)Most women are like cats. If you’ve wanted to cuddle a cat, then you’ll realize that you’re going to have to wait until it wants to cuddle. Forcing the issue isn’t really going to work out in your favor. Even if you catch it, it’s going to try to run away or maybe even scratch or bite you.
7)You should have some damn self respect. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t shoot your shot with a woman you’re interested in. I’m just saying that if she doesn’t want you, just let it go. Why would you want someone who doesn’t want you back in the first damn place? If just want sex that’s one thing. Maybe you can trick her into that. But if you want love, you can’t force it. I’d go so far to say that if you love her and she doesn’t love you back, don’t have sex with her as all that will do is make you want her even more. Contrary to blue pilled beliefs, a woman can have sex with you and not love you. A LOT of guys out here don’t realize that they’re only stand ins. She might settle for you because she can’t be with the guy she really wants.
8)Men should not fall in love. I know it happens and you can’t help it sometimes, but you gotta get past that. Acting upon these emotions like this make you very unattractive. It’s like being afraid. There is nothing wrong with being afraid of something. In fact, by definition, in order to be brave, you must be afraid first. The problem is when you act fearfully. Falling in love is the same way. It might happen, but you can’t act upon it. Empires have fallen and fortunes have been lost over men who’ve fallen in love with women. Men have killed others and themselves because they’ve been smitten by a woman who decided to leave him. Heartbreak is one of the most damaging and traumatizing things that can happen to a man.
9)Truly falling in love with a woman will pretty much guarantee that she’ll fall out of love with you, unless you’re very disciplined. Acting upon this emotion will cause her to lose attraction to you even though she might appreciate it at the time. I mean who doesn’t want someone ‘under their spell’ to speak. The difference is that men naturally want to rule over someone while women naturally want to be dominated. Don’t let the feminists fool you. If you are so weak as to fall in love and can’t walk away, she will sense that and will begin to resent you subconsciously. She will begin to mistreat you and test you. Leave being in love to the woman.
10) Men who are in love are similar to women who are easy. For most of us, when a woman is easy, there is a certain level of thanks for the easy sex, but I can’t really love you in a relationship like that. In the same way, women are like “thanks for the easy love, but I don’t really adore you like that.” If you’re out trying to pursue her heart, then you’re already giving away easy love. It might be appreciated if she needs that, but it won’t be respected as much. You’ll likely end up in the stand in position and be totally unaware of it. Sort of like how if you can’t get laid, but a chick decides to give you some. Sure there can be exceptions to the rule, but we’re talking the rule, not exceptions.
Just like no matter what a woman does for a man, the only thing that will stop him from cheating is if he chooses not to. The same thing goes for women, it doesn’t really matter what you do for her, she has to choose to love you. Otherwise her love is transactional, conditional, and superficial.