It’s been said that if a man loves a woman, he’ll give her the world. I used to buy into that sappy b.s. In fact, I never realized how programmed I was into believing this.
This morning, I was reading a profile on a dating app of a woman that seemed interesting. It was decent until she said that she was looking for a man who wanted to give her the world. It dawned on me that I used to really think that this is how things are supposed to be. Despite consuming a lot of red pill material, this idea has never been challenged and there it was buried deep in my psyche.
It made me realize that I have work to do. It also serves as an example of how we as sincere men are programmed to put women on pedestals. It explains why we lose in the game of love. Placing anyone on a pedestal automatically lowers your value to them. And we are taught to willingly do this for them.
For what though?
These days, women aren’t the only independent ones. Like most of them, I don’t really need anyone to do anything for me as far as being in a relationship goes. I work, I can cook, clean, do my own damn laundry….you know, do my own damn adulting. Of course intimacy and sex is great, but is outside of that, what else do I need her for. What else does she really need me for?
So why put her on a pedestal when she’s really only bringing intimacy and sex to the table? In fact, we both bring that. Ideally, we’d both make each others’ lives better, but still, she can pretty much be ok without me. No need to put anyone on a pedestal.
Instinctively, I think women know this. It’s why placing her on a pedestal and pandering to her wants is a complete turn off. She doesn’t know why she’s not attracted to the (blue pill programmed) good guy, but I’m pretty sure it’s because she has conflicting programming installed into her subconscious. Entitlement vs. the need to earn what she gets. It’s helps explain why a man can look good on paper(funny, attractive, decent job, fun, etc…), but if he caters to her(as he thinks he should), she’s turned off by him.
The common explanations of him being, boring, too nice, she’ll walk all over him, him being too needy, or he won’t be able to protect her are usually all just sound bites to try to explain the lack of attraction away.
I know too many men who’ve gotten dumped or cheated on who stand up for themselves and will get down with the get down if it comes to protecting their own. I know of many narcissts who are actually described as self absorbed, cowardly, and boring AF.
I think the conflict is that she is taught to be entitled, but she knows that entitlement isn’t good for her growth as a person. Sincere men programmed by society often treat her as if she’s earned something she hasn’t and in the end, even though she says she wants that, deep down, she knows she hasn’t earned it. This makes the guy come across as needy and desperate in her mind, but to his, he’s doing what he thought she wanted.
Our perceptions are fucked on both sides because we are taught that ‘real’ men do this. We mistake giving her what she actually deserves with giving her what she thinks she’s entitled to. Did she work for it? Is she an actual princess? I mean does she really deserve the extra attention for just having a nice body and some wet wet between her legs? Just for being her, regardless of what she actually brings to the table?
We do this and they lost interest. They say they want this, due to programming, but in real life, they don’t. Many can’t articulate what they really want. The one’s who’ve had both bad boy and good guy often don’t know what they really want.
The appeal of the narcisstic bad boy is that he doesn’t pander for long. While he doesn’t really care for real, his actions are more aligned with what’s attractive to them. I think women prefer to do the chasing. The prefer the insecurity of not knowing if he’s dependable. It makes life more interesting for them. They want to feel as if they earned it. They are the ones who actually like the chase.
The blue pill good guy is great as a safety net for them. They’ll use his dedication and loyalty against him. They will often either cheat or use him as a stand in as they look for their real true soul mate… the wealthy bad boy with a heart of gold. The narcissist who changes his ways because of her. Ironically, even if he is able to and does, she’ll end up losing interest, so he ends up losing too. Meanwhile, cheating with the narc sort of gives her a sense of being complete. Having the love she craves while at the same time having the chase she desires.
That said, It’s a dangerous game these days to have only one girl. I think it is better to have at least 2 (3 being optimal) or none at all. Getting too attached to the one tends to bring out old programming of trying to pander in fear of losing her. It’s an issue many sincere guys face.
She may be hurt upon discovery that she isn’t the only one, but in real life, she doesn’t really want a guy who is afraid of losing her. No matter what she is programmed to believe. Her heart and mind will be conflicted. Usually, being more emotional, the ‘heart’ (lust) will win. Once she has the guy who is committed completely to her, game over. She’s bored. Congratulations, you played yourself.
Women generally won’t leave a guy if he’s caught cheating. Sure she might complain, try to break up for a little bit, or whatever, but she’ll run for the hills if he bores her (give her his all).
She may insist that she really wants to be your world, but again Prince Charming, don’t play yourself.
She also knows that she won’t have a problem replacing your ass with the quickness if she’s at least decent looking. She probably has a ton of blue pilled simps in line waiting to pander to her. In general though, she’ll cheat down when it comes to moral equity.
Any one of them will do as a stand in and many guys, oblivious to this tendency, will be willing to do this for her. Average men (in general) will do almost anything for pussy and often are just as in need of validation as women. They can make it a sport though for a while though.
She knows that (unless blessed with extraordinary swag or loads of money), we have to put in some work. It is what it is.
Either way, loving a woman so much that you’d give her the world sounds romantic and good on paper, but experience has taught that it’s 1)not what she really wants and 2)a mindset that is guaranteed to lead to heartbreak and brokenness.
Time to start selling dreams. Would you like a gift receipt with that?