Swagger or Swag is a term often used to describe some meta aspect about how a man carries himself. Women love it. Given their hive like mentality, if you can convince a few in a group that you have it, then they’ll mostly all agree.
Swag in general is an aspect of a person’s personality that hints upon his personal confidence in his sexiness, ability, charm, and charisma. In short, how confident is he in his game. His actual looks doesn’t really have much to do with it. It’s not even so much about his verbal game. But more about his confidence in it.
I’d bet that women are attracted to this more than money, more than your looks, more than how much you love her, more than your body, more than anything. A man with game/swag can pull a girl if he pulls up in a Toyota corolla and an outfit from Walmart faster than a guy who has none, but pulls up in a Bentley wearing clothes from Milan. Actually, she’d get both numbers and enjoy the benefits of both.
But the point is that having swag/confidence compels her to want to be with you. Whereas attraction based on anything else makes her look reasons to want to stay with you.
Women will often leave a good man without swag, whereas they have a hard time leaving a bad man with it. The good guy may truly love her, treat her well, and give her what she needs, but if he’s a bit awkward or not so smooth, then she loses attraction for him. Without that attraction, she cannot love him. Often she’ll explain it like: “I love, but I’m not in love with you.” or “You deserve someone who will truly love you.”…. She rather be ” in love” (in lust) with someone than have someone who truly loves her. And would be willing throw it all away (family and all) just for the CHANCE to be with that lust interest. But that’s a different topic.
On the other hand, she will submit to, move heaven and earth, follow his bad behavior, ignore red flags, and deal with all kinds of bullshit (including cheating, “break babies”, lying, whatever) as long the guy has swag. She will play herself and even play the role of side chick for this guy.
They view swag as we as men often view beauty. A pretty woman can get away with a hell of a lot more than an ugly one can. A pretty woman can have a screwed up personality, but she will always have a gang of simps willing to wife her and do whatever she wants them to do. Likewise, a guy with a lot of swag will have simple women doing the most to be with him.
Swag gives a woman the pussy tingles. Her heart follows the pussy tingles, and women love to follow their heart. Doesn’t take much math to see where this going. If u can stimulate her sexually, then you pretty much have her heart. Along with heart comes loyalty and her whole mind. A lot of women lose their common sense when it comes to lust. This is a real thing and many guys KNOW this. Sex is psychological to her and so with her mind so caught up, she will swear it’s the best sex she ever had. Being dickmatized is a real thing. It’s often a temporary insanity thing, but real players know that this is the time to take full advantage.
In the man-o-sphere, the term simping describes the thirsty and self demeaning behavior that men do in order to get or keep a woman’s attention. There should be a term for women who do the same for ‘attractive’ men.
Fortunately for us men is that we can actually learn swag and charm. A lot of it is overcoming our own anxiety and insecurities. It takes work, but I believe it can be done. Unfortunately, it still means that you cannot ever really love a woman.
The difficulty for a ‘good’ man to have swag is that it often requires you to be a ‘bad’ boy. It means that you have to look past that pesky need to want to be actually helpful to her. You stop wanting to be that white knight wanting to save her or make her life easier. Your inner motivation has to primarily be on hitting it as opposed to wanting a relationship.
I think that the stereotype of men only wanting sex is a lie. It doesn’t tell the whole story. It probably comes from women who primarily deal with ‘bad boys.’ Most women end up messing with the same guys. Most guys don’t really have a high “body” count. But guys with high body counts have really high body counts. If I were to guess, I’d say that the average 30 year old man probably had sex with between 20 to 60 women. I’d say that an average 30 year old player has had over 300. Great players in the high hundreds or thousands. The majority of women love, or at least at one time loved a few of these guys and so their experience is that most guys are like this. The average guy usually doesn’t stand a chance in the face of this guy. Mr. Average Swag barely even enters her radar, so she doesn’t really realize that in reality, it’s only a few men who get the majority of the women.
But the average guy (i’d say the majority) really only want a good woman they can be themselves with, trust, treat well, and of course have sex with. She doesn’t have to be a dime, but just not ugly. But that is where most of us fail.
We can’t be as charming, fun, and funny because we actually care about offending her or if she doesn’t like us. We worry if she’ll actually like us or not as opposed to just assuming that she will (confidence). We become addicted to the outcome and instead of just enjoying ourselves, we feel like we’re performing or being judged. She senses our nervousness and takes it on herself. All of this happens at a subconscious level. It’s not like we do this on purpose.
The performance of a bad boy (often narcissistic) comes from a place of mischief. As in “am really I getting away with this…lol” as opposed to “wow, I hope she’s really enjoying herself.” of the nice guy. We really have to get past the whole worrying about her feelings thing. We have to get past the being ‘honest’ about how we really feel thing. We have to learn to hide in the shadows sometimes as opposed to living in the light all the time.
Pick up does a great job of explaining the ‘inner game’ dynamic and maybe I’ll summarize it in a future article.
In short though, just as what ‘love’ is is different between men and women, so is attraction. Attraction is primarily based on looks for us, but based on personality for them.
We as men have the advantage in that we can learn to be more attractive. It’s as simple (not easy) as changing our self perception and inner beliefs. We don’t even have to change our personality in whole, just the aspects that hold us back.