Forgiveness

For some people, it’s really hard to forgive others when they feel that they got screwed over.  I’ve always been pretty easy going about that.  Nothing really mattered that much so it was mostly pretty easy to just let things go.   Being screwed out of something as valuable as my family home is a pretty big freaking deal for me and it’s hard to just forgive.   It’s really the fact that our kid is going to be hurt over this.

I always thought that marriage was forever, but I feel totally screwed that someone else was able to move in (under the guise of being a ‘friend’) while we were having issues and convince her that she’s better off without us.   What a sleazeball.  While he might have feelings for her, it’s a dick move imho.   I could accept the fact, but he really doesn’t give a shit about how much pain he’s causing our family unit.   When you hurt my kid, I take it personally.

Though my wife is just as much to blame, if not more, this asshole uses ‘friendship’ as trojan horse and took advantage.   Now they want to sit on their high horse and say I gotta forgive them.   They expect me to keep their little “secret” from my son (so he won’t lose respect for his mother)….and i agree it might be in his best interest….eat this shit sandwich and just be cool with everything.  They expect me to just be ok with allowing my son to be around this douche who helped cause this pain as if it didn’t happen.

If she had left on her own accord, then that’s one thing.  If she had actually tried saving our family because the distraction wasn’t in the way and it didn’t work out, I could accept it better.   But instead, this manipulative ass decides that he wants her, saw an advantage and took it.   The tears, hurt and pain on my son, just collateral damage.

Her acting like this makes me realize that she isn’t right for me anyway.   I just wish I could walk away.   But for my son’s sake, I can’t.  I’m stuck with knowing that the home I wanted to give him was taken by a pathetic loser….and that pathetic loser is a human being who does shitty things …. sometimes…. as we all do.

In the end, she gets off scott free, looking like the hero who liberated her life all because she ran from her problems, had an affair, and somehow deserves the happily ever ending story.    Meanwhile, I’m humiliated, I lose the thing I loved the most, and even worse, the only lesson i get to learn is how to forgive people for screwing me over…and she wants our son to accept him in her life.

What does she expect, us to be some happily ever after friends bullshit.  Do I have to love her unconditionally even though she had no problems with destroying me the way she did it.   I guess I have no choice.   Ain’t that bitch.

What’s even worse is that i seriously doubt she’ll ever look at what she did and put me through as nothing more than a “oops” moment.

This is what you get for loving, trusting, and marrying someone.

It wasn’t worth it.

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