Thinking back over my life, I’ve never really pursued a woman. I was just good looking enough to get a few women here and there and usually ended up in long term relationships with them. Between that, the occasional lucky flings, getting back with ex’s, and the fact that there weren’t really many attractive women from where I’m originally from, I never really put myself out there. I had a few crushes, but medium level self esteem, pride, and the fact I was usually getting laid somewhere kept me from overcoming the approach anxiety.
In fact, until very recently, my motto was, “if she rocks with me, she rocks with me”. Because I was already getting laid, I would leave her alone with the first ‘no’. I thought it was corny and borderline creepy to push yourself upon someone who wasn’t initially interested in you. If her interest cooled, then I took it as it was time to move on. Don’t get me wrong, I treated them all well. I was thoughtful and took them out and remembered dates if we were together. I just didn’t pursue.
I just thought it was the way it was. Pursuing a woman isn’t something that I thought most guys did. In fact, even though I wasn’t necessarily red pill back then (didn’t even know what it was), I thought it was a very “beta” thing to do. I thought women did the choosing. I figured if they liked you, they’d be open and if not, changing their minds would be either impossible or futile as she’d probably move on anyway.
It came to me as an epiphany of sorts that I’ve never actually pursued a woman. I don’t know if I know how. I know it involves being direct and not taking ‘No’ as an answer. I know that have to put myself out there and put my heart (at least pretend to) on the line. That’s scary, especially if I really like her like that.
This does open the door to all sorts of possibilities though. No now simply means not right now.
Most pickup advice says that it is generally a bad idea to show too much interest in a woman. It makes you seem needy or desperate. I mean doesn’t pursuing by it’s very nature make you seem needy?
From my understanding, you are supposed to get them attracted first, create rapport, and have them basically pursue you. If they know that they can have you, then they aren’t really interested. The games you play are based on you having the power and keeping them in a lower position as the buyer.
If you do pursue, then you have to keep doing whatever it is that got them and even then, there are no guarantees. But real game is effective technique combined with minimal investment.
This makes sense because no matter how much you invest, she is under no obligation to be with you, stay with you, or even stay faithful these days. In fact, these days, she’s most likely to accept the benefits while still chasing unemotionally available players who gamed, but won’t emotionally validate her.
The fact is that simps, blue pill suckers who love her simply for her beauty, or red pill players validate her enough. Social media likes and other thirsty guy behavior gives her enough validation to keep her in a permanent state of feeling like she can have (so therefore deserves) any man she desires. It’s funny how they can call out the thirsty behavior in guys, but it still validates them. They know dudes will say or do almost anything to get laid and will lay almost anything with hole, but yet feel special when a guy with good game charms them…. as if she’s the only person he’s out there charming.
Simps use the pursue strategy to get laid. Despite being demeaning, unreliable, and costly (emotionally and financially), I’m now thinking that it could work. It’s a long game though.
As a strategy for getting laid, it could benefit as women do tend to fall in love if you’re persistent enough and you’re not too weird. That persistence could pay off by large dividends if you don’t put your heart into it. In fact, nice guy game is viable if you realize that it is just a strategy and not your identity. Realize that she only loves you because of what you do for her, how you make her feel, or whatever need you’re fulfilling at the time. Understand that in the end though, it’s never you for you. Loyalty most likely isn’t on the agenda because if you slip up or someone else begins to simp harder with more resources, her love will fade quicker than a graphic tee in cheap detergent. Never slipping is also perilous because people have a tendency to take things for granted over time. You have to play it the right way….which is ethically questionable IMHO.
For it to work.
At the height of her love, once you’ve worn her down, you have to pull back and take the validation away if you want any chance of keeping her. First of all, you can’t really be afraid to lose her. This is key in any strategy, but especially pursue strategy.
I believe that women really still do love that romantic, you’re the only one for me, we’re meant to be, I’ll treat you better than any other man type, 1990’s boyz to men bullshit. Again, I can’t emphasize enough to remember that is only a strategy. Don’t start believing your own bullshit, especially if it actually works.
Pulling back would have the effect of flipping the script so to speak where the pursuer becomes the prize. She comes to miss or long for the special attention she was receiving. Never give her a chance to take it for granted. Your goal is to actually treat her better (not just financially) than anyone else. Make her feel that she’s the ONE for you. Shit tests in this instance are generally designed to see if she can scare you off. So you only fail if she can actually scare you off. You have to maintain the frame that you know she’s the one or that she’s special while walking the line of not taking blatant disrespect. Reframing helps here. You have to check your ego and remember that it’s only the strategy.
The danger is buying your own bullshit, actually investing too much, and falling in love for real. If the strategy becomes one with your identity, you’re fucked.
You will fail hard if u stay in pursuit. This is a losing long term strategy unless your ultimate goal is to get cucked and fucked by the courts.
Think about it, good guys get laid all the time. We just fail to take female nature into account and fail to take the validation until it’s too late. We actually fall in love too.
Perhaps the takeaway to all of this is regardless of the strategy you use, keep a red pill mindset. She’s never yours, it’s only your turn. Expect resistance, but remember that the goal is to wear her down to ‘prove’ yourself.
This is all theory, but def worth a try. It might be too late for my wife, but I met the cute girl in class last week. Who knows?there is a first time for everything.