Guard your hearts in marriage

 

I met a beautiful married woman last week and we had a great conversation.  It felt as if we could have talked all night.  I offered my number and she wanted to get it.  I didn’t follow through and give it to her because all I could think about was if we were to start something, how much pain it would cause her husband.   I could tell that she was excited by the prospect of exploring s certain side of herself.  Even though I didn’t know her husband, I know that they had 3 kids and I couldn’t see myself as a reason to contribute to whatever issues they might have.   I’m no saint, I’ve been though it personally, so I know how it feels to get cheated on by your spouse.  But I can’t rightfully say that if we worked together or saw each other a lot, nothing would have ever happened.  It’s hard to judge, but I see how things can happen.  Here a possible explanation.

Married women are low hanging fruit.  They are usually more down to earth (to men that aren’t their husbands) and usually a bit bored.  They don’t have their defenses up and don’t guard their hearts.  It makes them easy pickings for players and guys who just don’t give a damn.   Thirsty guys with no game in the single’s marketplace have a better chance of connecting with one because certain rules don’t apply.   Their idea of adventure and fun is sneaking out of the house and going to a park or hotel to get busy with a stranger.   Single women don’t have this problem because they have the option of doing this all the time.   A bored married woman with loose morals (amoral) is like a fish in a barrel.  They are like the rebellious teenager who wants their independence.

A husband who truly loves his family does appear a bit needy.  If he truly loves her and does things for her, there is really no chase anymore.   She knows that she has him.  He may not argue with her too much just to keep the peace.  He’d prefer peace over arguing if the matter isn’t that serious.  He seems like a pussy.

Add household duties, knowing pretty much everything about each other, and decreasing sex, you have a recipe for a bored woman.  In essence, doing what you’re supposed to do to keep the ship running basically makes you boring to your spouse.

Most of these women are too damn stupid to realize that they low key seek out the excitement of a stranger.  They say they aren’t fulfilled in their marriage, but in actuality, it’s boredom.    If this wasn’t bad enough, once someone comes along and fulfills that need, they fall in love.  The often claim that the sex is amazing.   I don’t doubt it, but it’s because sex is mostly mental with women.   The taboo, danger, and newness of it all makes it feel that much better.

They become ready to leave their spouses and families for the new Mr. Soul Mate.   The truth is, that, because their hormones are  engaged, they are more open, expressive, and freaky.   Because they already have a man at home, they don’t worry as much about rejection and can be more uninhibited than if they were single.  They look these actions as evidence that the new guy is a better match for them.  The never stop think that it is because of their husband not in spite of him.

Falling in love already causes you miss out on red flags.   But married women fall easier.  They will leave a 90% good man for a 40% good man because they can’t accurately judge the 40% man.  They justify him.  They claim that they either never loved their husbands, didn’t love him as deeply or intensely, or just “grew apart.”   They don’t realize that the new guy may be only filling 10%  of her needs.  Due to the nature of long term relationships, her husband could no longer fill them, even if he wanted to.   The intensity of this new relationship is only due to the fact that she is married.  Not because the guy is a soul mate or anything.   It’s not to say that if she were single, she wouldn’t have fallen for the new guy.  But the intensity is greatly increased because she is already married or in a relationship.

People want what they can’t/ shouldn’t have.

What’s worse is that most men don’t realize that women are the gatekeeper of relationship experiences.   If she likes you, she makes it easier to talk to her.  The more open she is, the more fun she is.  Dudes like to think that it’s just because we have more “game” or are “better” men.  Simps think it’s because they’re soul mates or something.

But in reality, game can only take you so far.   It helps for sure, but it isn’t the only factor.  Her openness and willingness is what drives the interaction.   If she likes you, then you’re going to have a much better time with her.  Bottom line.   Married women usually set the bar lower when looking for lovers.  I don’t think they intentionally do this, but it’s often why you’ll hear stories of how a woman left her stable steady, good provider husband for the “pool boy.”

It’s very likely that these same women would have cheated with their current husbands had they been married to the new guys for years.

Unfortunately, most women let their emotions paint their reality.   They are told to follow their “hearts.”  Noone tells them that the heart is wicked, deceptive, and painfully naïve.   It might be ok advice to single people who aren’t hurting anyone but themselves, but it really is stupid advice for people who have families who rely on them.

Happiness is elusive and it’s a moving target.  Today’s society tells people to keep pursuing this happiness at all costs.  It’s sad that so many families and homes are broken because stupid, selfish, narcissistic people take it as justification to do whatever they want regardless of the circumstances or consequences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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