As a means to heal myself from the side effects of being cheated on, I researched affairs online. It happens a lot. It seems that women are just as bad as men when it comes to cheating. I’ve noticed that it often happens to “nice” or “good” guys. Seriously, do a google search on “I’m not in love with my husband”. Many of these stories are heartbreaking. Time after time I see where women say that their husbands are good fathers, providers, and friends. Many say they are good husbands….just good for someone else. They love, but aren’t “in love” with them anymore. They are no longer sexually attracted to them. Even if he makes good money, help with the kids, and are overall decent human beings the love just “fades”. Some even say that others find their husbands attractive or funny.
Many men also report that their wives no longer “love” them, despite them being there for them. It’s a really sad situation. While the articles are usually pretty informative, the comments are where the real gold is. It’s such a common occurrence and reading them have been a real eye opener. The women simply lose interest, often cheat, and leave these guys heartbroken, on child support, and paying alimony. Usually the affair partner isn’t what they thought they were when the affair is over. (He’s a cheater, duh)
IN my research, I’ve come across the idea of redpill and bluepill. It refers to when Neo in the Matrix was offered either a blue pill to stay asleep keep living in the matrix or a red pill to wake up to “reality”. In this case, the blue pill says that women are essentially “good” and fair minded people. The red pill says that women are opportunistic and amoral at best.
Their love is conditional and is only valid until either they find a better deal or if they become “bored” with you. It says that they can never truly love a man for who he is. They only love for either self validation or for opportunistic reasons.
There are many stories definitely line up with this reasoning. Of course, there are bad men out there, but I’m specifically talking about the “good” men who are dumped because their wives get bored. The most damning (and heartbreaking) cases are ones where the wives want to love their husbands, did not cheat, but cannot find them sexually attractive anymore for some reason. They often can’t explain it. Half the time it’s because they are engaged in an emotional or physical affair with someone else though.
The common thread is that these men truly love their wives. Many of these wives say they are only there because of the kids, financial issues preventing them from leaving, or they don’t want to hurt the guy. It’s sad.
My wife is finally opening up to me again and she states that she wanted to leave. She was totally enamored with the guy and felt “loyal” to him. Basically My feelings weren’t really as important as her ‘proving’ her love (my words, not hers) to him. She apologizes and says that it was wrong, but it’s a scary feeling to know that during that time, she was so irrational and wicked to me. I still don’t think she can look back and see how evil she was acting towards me and it’s scary.
I’m at a place where I cannot really trust her. If influences of her biology can be compromised to the point where there is no reasoning with her, then it’s like keeping a wild animal as a pet. You never know when she’ll change and if she does, there’s no reasoning with her.
Though I must confess that I’m hanging in there for the kid and to honor my vows. I’m pretty sure that had I known then what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.
It’s messed up that society gives women a pass for ‘bitchy’ behavior. It’s on us to be able to ‘handle’ her, and if we can’t then somehow she deserves better. They want equal rights, but not equal responsibility. We men must maintain self control, but women aren’t held to the same standard. I’m not into “handling” grown ass people. If you’re an adult, you should be able to control yourself and be responsible for the impact of your actions.
Now that I know about the irrational, hypergamous, and amoral nature of most women, and i’m starting to think my wife is in the category of ‘most’ women….I find that I don’t really like most of them. At least not for a relationship. I mean friends sure, friends with benefits….better, but as far as girlfriend or wifey….hell no.
They are too materialistic, too shallow, deceitful, unstable, complicated and picky. Their conditions of loyalty is rooted in their feelings at the time. They are more concerned with how things look rather than how things are. Integrity is based on their image to others. They lose their sense of self in relationships, then viciously blame their partners if their lives didn’t turn out the way they wanted it to. Their validation comes from external sources. They care way too much about what others think. They are selfish and passive aggressive at the same time. Then, they don’t take personal responsibility. They suffer from perpetual grass is greener and they think that their feelings equal reality. Most suffer from a ‘princess’ syndrome. In short most gen X and above women are narcissistic, shallow, and ignorant hypocrites. They are much like those Donald Trump supporters who hated Obama and attacked his character.
At one time, I was a blue pill man. I was willing to die for my wife. I thought she really had my back. I thought that love, honesty, loyalty, and friendship was a solid foundation. I now realize that it isn’t. For me it’s foundational, for them, it’s just icing on the cake. What’s foundational for them is that they look good for their “haters”. The only way to gain compliance is if you don’t really love them. They aren’t checking for good guys, they want players and men who sometimes have other women. They are addicted to drama and get bored with peace. The better you treat them, the more respect they lose for you. Shitty behavior seems Alpha to them.
I swallowed the red pill. I’m awake. I can’t go back to sleep. I feel torn between playing their game (getting dirty) and compromising my integrity so I can get sex….. or overcoming my biological desire for sex and basically become a monk.
Maybe the second option is more consistent with who I’d like to be. If I were ‘good’ with women naturally, perhaps I wouldn’t be writing this. Maybe I should be a monk and keep my focus solely on self improvement.