Valentine’s Date Conversation Starters



You’re out on a valentine’s date with your significant other (S.O.) and you’ve been seeing each other for quite some time time.  Over the years, you’ve gotten to know each other very well.  Almost too well.  She’s heard all your stories.  You know about hers.  At this point, conversation is mostly about bills, kids, work, and facebook notificatons.   KILL ME NOW.



      Date night for long term couples don’t have to be canned, half hearted attempts at conversation and parent talk.   It’s easy to fall into a routine of talking about the same things over and over again. Even worse, all too often, I couples sitting at dinner tables silently staring at their phones.  (Are they texting each other?)   But fret not.  With a little bit of research and preparation(I’ll get you started here) you can get those old “honeymoon/getting to know each other” phase conversations going again.

Just a side note  “game theory” suggests that you have some canned material prepared in approaching women.  You shouldn’t rely on it soley, but have it there to spark conversation where you both can enjoy getting to know each other.

Social Psychologist Arthur Aron came up with “36 Questions To Fall in Love” nearly twenty years ago. These are great questions and should spark interesting conversations for you mate and your mate to get to know each other all over again.  I’ve chosen my top ten favorites and listed them below:

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

  2. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say?  Why?

  3. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

  4. If you were able to live to the age of 90 but could only retain the mind or body of a 30 year old for the next 60 years of your life, which would you choose?

  5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

  6. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

  7. What do you value the most in a friendship?

  8. Make three true “we” statements…for example, “we are both in this room feeling…”

  9. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”

  10.  If your house, containing everything you own caught on fire.  After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to save any one item.  What would it be?   Why?


Try peppering these in questions over the night instead of banging them out back to back.  Or you could say something like you were reading an interesting article on the subject as to frame it so you don’t look like some weird armchair psychologist.  If he’s hesitant about answering, answer them yourself using as much detail as possible.  Comment on her answer without being judgemental.  Remember this is supposed to be fun.

With valentine’s day right around the corner, surprise your mate not only with a great dinner, but excellent conversation.   Maybe you can both learn a little more about yourselves and each other.







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